Still in comatose

Still in comatose
ALESSANDRO'S POV
Today marks exactly two months since I had last seen his beautiful light brown eyes.

He was here but not really here. He was alive, his heart still beats, he breathes in and out, and his wounds have healed considerably. He doesn't move, he doesn't react to my touch. He just lays on the bed, ghastly pale.

He lies comatose on the bed, due to blunt force trauma to the head and excessive blood loss. The bastard had cracked his head open in three places. They had to shave his head off for the stitches. If he had been conscious, I know he would have never allowed the doctors to do anything to his hair, he loves it too much to just shave it off. I'm pretty sure he is going to have a complete meltdown when he wakes up... If he wakes up.

But his hair had grown back, it wasn't too long, but the short hair looked incredibly handsome on him. I wish I could tell him that.

For the first month, the doctors kept him in the Intensive Care Unit but then I brought him home. Our home. The doctors said there was a chance he might never wake up and then there was a chance that he could wake up and might have permanent brain damage. There was also a chance that he might wake up and be completely fine that was what I was clinging onto.

Just like every single day, I washed his hair and cleaned his body with a washcloth and warm water as best as I could with all the machines attached to him. I made him wear fresh clothes, I know how he hates being unhygienic.

I traced my fingers over the bullet wound scar on the side of his stomach. Fortunately for us, the bullet didn't damage any of his vital organs, it was a through-and-through abdominal gunshot wound.

I leaned closer and kissed it, just like I do every single day.

I dressed him up in clean clothes, grey shorts that he loved to wear whenever he wanted to torture me, and an oversized button-up shirt because of the machines.

A nasogastric tube was shoved down his nose to deliver necessary nutrition straight to his stomach.

I reached out and softly grabbed his hand, I brought it to my lips and kissed his knuckles. "I love you, I'm going to say those three words to you every second of the day when you wake up. I regret..." I swallowed as a thickness settled in my throat, "I regret not saying those words to you more often. I have been so fucking stubborn about it but..." I softly ran my finger along the curve of his cheek. "but I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you."
"That’s why I decided to marry you, minding less about the fact that you’re a fellow man",

I watched his face once more and inhaled deeply, fuck! I couldn't fucking breathe.

"There was just something about you... I wanted to keep you close to me. I never realized why I brought you to my home that day... now I get it. I loved you all this time, even when I thought that you had betrayed me, I still couldn't think of a single fucking way to punish you because you are my heart, Nikolai. How can I hurt my own fucking heart?"

I leaned over him and placed a soft kiss on his warm, chapped lips, "And now I just sit by your bed and I keep thinking about how much I loved talking to you. I didn't talk much before you, I hated engaging in mindless conversations but with you, the mindless conversations with you became the highlight of my day. I looked forward to them. You know, sometimes I'd get so fucking frustrated at work and when I'd come home, you'd just open your mouth and spew the longest sentences that wouldn't even make sense and I loved it. I loved every second of it. I daydream about it throughout my days, recalling the snippets of our conversations. Sometimes, I feel like I'm going fucking crazy..."

The room was deadly silent. My voice sometimes echoed back into my ears, along with little sounds coming from the machines that were attached to his body.

I kissed his knuckles once more, "I want you back, please..."

The burning pain in my heart intensified with each tortured breath I took, "You have no fucking idea what it's like to live without you... FUCK!"

I placed his hand back on the bed and ran both of my hands down my face, exhaling loudly.

"I never thought I'd be this desperate, this weak for someone. Everyone has their one person, they'd do anything for. Even a monster has his own person and you... You're my person, Nikolai."

I shook my head, "This wasn't supposed to happen, I wasn't supposed to love you this much. My body fucking aches for you, I have no control over it. You mean more to me than I ever expected, you mean more to me than anyone on this fucking planet and that's so fucking scary. It's so fucking scary to have the most vulnerable part of your body lying in the bed before you... unconscious, unresponsive"

I dropped my head in my hand and sighed, "I want you back, Nikolai... I want you back."

A knock on the door startled me, I jerked out of my trance and got up, walking to the door. I flung it open and saw Vladimir.

"You are needed downstairs..." he said as his eyes went behind me before he diverted them elsewhere.

"Give me a second," I closed the door, walked back to him, and placed a kiss on his cheek. "I'm gonna send a nurse in here, I'll be back later tonight, alright?" placing a kiss on his forehead, I headed out of the room, gesturing for the nurse waiting outside to go on in.

Comatose husband or not, a devil's work is never done. I descended the stairs and entered my study to see two men on their knees, their hands tied behind their backs, snot mixed with blood dripping onto the floor, the reason I got rid of the carpet.

They were FBI informants, double agents and even after all these years of losing to me, they still hadn't given up. A smile stretched over my lips as I walked closer to them. They were probably sent by the Salvatores again. The fucking cowards. The moment they got to know that their men hurt my Nikolai, they hid themselves immediately. Of course they knew what was coming next.

"Don Alessandro, please, I have a family—" The FBI started.
A bullet, straight to the head; right between his eyes cut him off instantly.

His partner let out a shrill scream watching his body slump to the ground like a sack of fucking potatoes.

"That was so fucking aggravating," I commented over his scream and then shot him as well, twice because of that ugly-ass scream.

"Send in the cleaners."

Vladimir smirked, "Yes, boss."

I always leave Nikolai's Alessandro in that room with him and down here, I am still Don Alessandro, still the same, just a little more vicious because he fucked me up and now the thought that any threat to me could pose a threat to him made my fucking blood boil. And I'd burn the whole fucking world down but I'd never let anything or anyone touch him ever again.

This is who I was, I was Don Alessandro De Luca of the Cosa Notra Family, this is what I was always supposed to be and what I will always be, and amidst all that, I found an angel. An angel that has me weak for him and only him, no one else.

I work, just like I did before. Some days start with spilled blood of the Salvatores, some don’t , but my nights are always the same... I sleep next to him, holding him.

After working on the FBI, I attended the De Luca oil company's grand opening; putting on a brave face. Afterward, I drove to Cosa Notra's headquarters and worked until the sun went down.

Then at night, Vladimir, Lorenzo, Antonio and I were in the warehouse, still holding some of the Salvotore men captive, hoping Nikolai would be able to handle things with them when he woke up. Finally, I made my way to the nightclub as I numbed the dull ache in my chest with alcohol.

I set the empty whiskey bottle aside and stood up from behind my desk. I ran a hand down my tie and on my way out, I patted Vladimir's shoulder. This man had not only saved my life but also my husband's.

"Go home, Vladimir, get some sleep."

I drove back home to him. I slowly climbed the steps, opened the door, and without uttering a sound, the nurse stood and silently exited. Only the silent beeps from the machine permeated the air.

I loosened my tie, "It was a long fucking exhausting day, baby boy."

I freshened up, changed into my sweats, and went to lie on my side of the bed. I looked to my side and saw him, a part of me wished, he'd just open his eyes and give me that beautiful smile I hadn't seen in so long.

I sighed, moving swiftly closer to him, softly placing my hand over his stomach and closing my eyes, letting the sleep take over.