XXXVII. Adjusting

"When it is becomes impossible to go back to normal ,we have to create a new normal and adjust to it." Sabine Shah ---- Chapter XXXVII – Adjusting I was in hospital for another two days for observation before they sent me home with strict instructions to come back if there were any complications. I had oral medication and they gave me a shot just in case. After that, everything kind of went back to normal. Well, our new normal. Shea stayed with me every night, coming in my window once Mom had gone to bed. It was becoming our routine and I loved it. Mom let me go back to school the following week. There was only one week left before winter break, and I knew I would be spending the whole time studying to catch up, but it was so good to see my friends and catch up with everything that I had missed. It turns out, getting kidnapped on a school trip, stabbed, and having your spleen removed, makes you a minor celebrity in Providence. I had practically spoken to every student and faculty member in one day who all wanted to know how I was doing, or the gory details of my ordeal. I just replied with, "I'm doing great, thanks." I finally got to catch up with Josh, who was in a real, public relationship with Zoey. They had gotten together in Charlotte, and he hadn't said anything as he didn't want to rub his relationship in my face when I was going through something horrible. Zoey had also told him the truth about her, and after passing out, much to his humiliation, he was okay with it. Zoey was proudly still wearing a tube top in December just so that she could show off her new "Joshua" tattoo. Those in the know knew exactly what it was though, and I was happy for her. That was until Josh told me about the consequence of them being together. When Zoey's parents had found out about her and Josh, they had flipped out. They kicked Zoey out of the house and she was now staying in Josh's room and hiding from his parents. I knew I wanted to help them, but I had to figure out how. My dad was around the house quite often now, and I still couldn't quite figure out what was going on between him and Mom. They looked like they were becoming friends again, but they were keeping anything romantic well hidden. But with Shea there, too, the topic of the pack came up a bit more. It turned out that Shea and his family received a monthly benefit from his father's life insurance policy. However, no such policy existed. My dad had been the one paying. When Shea had found this out, he felt really guilty and embarrassed, but my dad assured him that Robert would have wanted him to look after his family. Robert and my dad were best friends, after all. "My mom and my sister are my responsibility," Shea had said, quite vulnerably. "Your mom, Cecelia, and you, Shea, are my responsibility," my dad had replied. "You're still a kid, and you ought to be one." It was like a massive weight had been lifted off of Shea's shoulders after that. Shea had always had the burden of looking after his family on his mind. He couldn't do anything for himself, and what life was that for an eighteen-year-old? Of course, he would always be there for his mom and sister, but he needed independence, too. With my mom's blessing, my dad resumed control of the pack, and Shea took over the role of Beta, just as his father had been. This meant that Shea could have a lot more independence and could even go to college if he wanted to. I was very hypocritical when I learned this, not wanting him to go away, when I was planning on applying to out of state colleges, but Shea quelled my fears anyway, saying that he liked the option of college, but he hadn't decided what was for him yet. My question of whether my parents were involved again was answered rather awkwardly one night during winter break when I ran into my shirtless dad on my way to the bathroom at two o'clock in the morning. Seeing the "Amanda" tattoo made me smile, but then it completely grossed me out as we avoided eye-contact and returned to our prospective bedrooms. Mom tried to awkwardly broach the subject the next morning, but I interrupted telling her I was happy for her. That was the understatement of the century. Nobody wanted to think of their parents doing it, but after the seventeen years apart that my parents had had, they deserved to do whatever they wanted. After winter break finished, and we were all back at school, I found myself spending a lot more time with Zoey as she was now permanently attached to Josh. And now that she wasn't behaving like she had a mental disorder, I found that I could actually tolerate her. That tolerance grew to like, and soon enough, I counted her as a friend. So much so that when Josh's parents discovered her living in his bedroom, I found myself asking my mom if Zoey could live in our spare bedroom. With a little encouragement from my dad, who obviously knew how vile her parents were, Mom agreed, and soon enough, Zoey was now my next-door neighbour. Zoey turned out to be a pretty good roommate, and a pretty decent friend in the end. It was almost like having a sister. Well, what I imagine sisters to be like. Arguing over bathroom time and who was wearing the other's clothes. Though Zoey insisted she'd never be caught dead in anything I owned, so it was me who was the thief. But, when we got along, I could talk to her, and she could talk to me. And when Cece was with us, I really felt like I had found friends for life. Dad moved in with us in March, after he and Mom had been dating for a few months. Mom was honestly happier than I had ever seen her, and Dad just looked like he belonged with her. So, while they had strict rules about boys in our rooms, both Zoey and I broke them regularly. And the crappy thing about having a lycan for a dad is that his hearing is pretty good. He knew exactly when we had boys in our rooms, but he didn't say anything to Mom. A few weeks after Dad moved in, Shea took me out into the woods. Everything had been going really great between Shea and I. Being together was honestly so much easier when he wasn't worrying all the time. "You're not going to kill me, are you?" I joked. "The last time someone brought me into the woods, things didn't go so well." I was honestly a lot better now, physically and emotionally. I didn't develop another infection. I was now left with a pretty gnarly curved shaped scar on my upper abdomen, thanks to the knife wound, and the emergency surgery. I hadn't let Shea see it, not yet. But seeing as he stayed with me almost every night, I hadn't had any nightmares either. I did still think about Lex from time to time, but I honestly made a conscious effort to focus on the many blessings that I had in my life instead. Crap happens. And while my crap was particularly crappy, I wasn't going to wear it like a tattoo on my forehead. I was Sara Bryant, and I had a blessed life. "Not funny, Sara," snapped Shea, but there was humour in his tone. "Sorry," I apologised jestingly. "Why are we going into the woods, though?" I pressed. "You'll see," he replied. Shea parked his truck at the end of the trail and we began to walk into the dense forest. When my human legs got tired, Shea piggy backed me until we were at least five miles from the trail. When he placed me down, he turned on me, and said, "I love you." I frowned. "I know. I love you, too." Shea exhaled. "It's been weighing on my mind for a while now that part of the reason that your parents broke up in the first place is that your mom was afraid of him. I know they're back together now, and that's great, but I don't ever want you to be afraid of me, and I don't ever want there to be a reason for you and I to be apart for that long." "Shea, I'm not afraid of you," I assured him. Shea smiled before grabbing his t-shirt and pulling it off over his head. I never got tired of perving on my boyfriend. Shea didn't mind me checking him out either. He honestly looked a little self-satisfied. I then realised what he was doing when he unbuttoned his jeans and pulled down the fly. He really didn't want me to be afraid of him. He wanted me to see him. I had only got a glimpse of him in his lycan form once, and I was half-delirious at the time. Honestly, it was all still a little bit like a dream to me that things like this could really exist. And then Shea took off his boxers. He seemed very comfortable to be standing naked in my presence, and I could see that he had nothing to be ashamed of, which then caused me to blush and avert my eyes. Shea chuckled. "It's not seeing me like this that I'm afraid of, Sara." "I can see that," I murmured. Oh my God, I needed to stop being such a little girl. Shea and I hadn't taken that next step in our relationship yet, and God knew that I wanted to. I was just such a chicken when it came to initiating anything, and I knew that Shea would never pressure me. Taking a deep breath, I looked him in the eye. Shea took a deep breath, too. "Please, don't run." It was a literal shift. One second he was a human man, and the next there was a large wolf standing before me. I gasped so hard that it was almost as though I had sucked all the wind out of me. I jumped backwards, as though I hadn't been expecting this to happen. I blinked a few times as I adjusted to what I was seeing. He was huge. Shea was always a lot taller than me, but as a wolf, he was enormous. Standing on all fours, he was still a few inches taller than me. His fur was a russet brown, the exact same shade as his hair, and his eyes were exactly the same as well. They were larger, and solely looking at me, but I could see Shea in them. His legs were long and powerful. I could see the strength in his muscles. His fur looked long and soft, and before I knew it, I was reaching out to touch him. Shea went down on his front legs, as though he was bowing. He lowered his head to me, and my fingers threaded through the fur on his head. His eyes closed. I think it surprised me how soft he was. Not that I had been expecting something. I combed my fingers through his fur, and I felt my own breathing normalise as I grew used to this. I wasn't afraid, just completely out of my comfort zone. But this was Shea. I had seen every facet of him. I loved every facet of him. And I knew he loved every flawed facet of me. Honestly, he could have shifted into a tap-dancing monkey and I would still love him every bit that I did. I leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Shea." His ear perked up. "I love you." And just like that, Shea shifted back, and he kissed me. I kissed him back passionately. And I knew that I was ready to see my name tattooed on his chest. ---- Once again I have a cat on me making it hard to type who wants second breakfast probably! They're good con artists, my cats, making out like they're starving when they're not lol. The most they've gotten is three breakfasts haha. I always think of Lord of the Rings when I think of my cats when Merry and Pippin are like "What about second breakfast?"