XXVII. Remember-1

"They say time heals all wounds, but that presumes the source of the grief is finite." Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince ---- Chapter XXVII – Remember I was cold. I was hungry. And I really needed to pee. And I needed an aspirin. Those were the feelings that came to the forefront of my mind as I regained my coherent thoughts. My head felt like it weighed two hundred pounds, like it was a mammoth effort just to lift it up. It was leaning against something hard behind me. I was against something. The air smelled fresh. I was outside, hence why I was feeling so cold. And my neck really hurt. I went to lift my arm to feel for any wounds, but I couldn't. My hands were bound. I blinked my eyes, letting in the light for what felt like the first time in ages. I squinted as my vision focused. I was in the woods. What the hell … how did I get here? Panic immediately set in as I realised that I was in a bad situation. Something had happened to me that was beyond my control. I struggled, realising properly now that I was tied to a tree. I had been taken, full on Liam Neeson taken, against my will and brought to the middle of nowhere. My head snapped around as I panicked, looking for any markers, any signs of a trail, any campfire smoke in the distance. But aside from this clearing, the woods were so dense that I couldn't see anything. The sun was rising. That meant that east was where the sun was, right? Not that it would do me any good knowing where east was if I had no freaking clue where I was. Was I still in Charlotte? Holy shit. Someone had taken me against my will. Someone had tied me to this damn tree. Was I going to die? Thinking about my own mortality made me freeze. I felt as if adrenaline was paralysing my body as I panicked, all sorts of horrible things flashing through my mind. "Good morning." I gasped in fright as a figure appeared in the clearing, making his way out of the dense forest. He was dressed for the weather, wearing a thick jacket, jeans, and heavy looking combat boots. I could see his tattoos poking out from the neck of his shirt. Lex was staring at me in a dark, disconnected way. He approached me, cocking his head as I recoiled, leaning as far back into the tree as I could. He honestly looked like he had snapped. The almost evil blankness of his expression was practically sociopathic. I knew right this minute that I was the farthest thing from okay. Lex had snapped. He had taken me from safety as part of his warped mission for justice. I was trembling. I could feel myself shaking, almost to the point where my wrists were getting burnt from the friction of the rope that was binding my wrists. I was completely alone. I had no one to depend on but myself, and I needed to make myself safe. "Lex," I said, my voice insane hoarse. "I haven't done anything wrong." I coughed, clearing my throat. Lex's face cracked into a smile as he laughed. "I know you haven't, Sara. You're a by-product of a war you didn't start. Just like I am." Okay, so I couldn't deflect blame off of myself. I searched my rapidly deteriorating brain for a plan B. "You need to let me go. You're holding me against my will. It's illegal. If you let me go now, I won't tell anybody what happened." Lex just laughed even harder as he crouched down in front of me. He looked at me with his cold, icy eyes, cocking his head again, as if I were simple. "And what your father did wasn't illegal?" he challenged. "My father was only defending his pack and his territory. But your father couldn't just back off. He took it too far, and he murdered him!" "My father is dead, too!" I retorted. "I don't know what happened, Lex! I didn't even know that lycans existed until about a month ago! Up until then I thought that my dad died in a car accident." "You don't know?" Lex asked in disbelief. "Seventeen years ago, a member of your father's pack tried to abduct my mother. My father set out to remind the Providence pack just where their border was, and your father took it too far. He started a war, and he ended it by killing my father." I didn't know what to do with this information. I didn't know if it was true. There had to be more to the story. But what did he want me to do? "Lex, what can I do?" I asked him. "We are not our fathers." "What can you do?" he repeated, looking me right in the eye. "You, Sara, are going to end this conflict once and for all. You are the rightful Alpha of the Providence pack. You are the Luna, the mate of the current Alpha. You're the linchpin. If you're out of the picture, the pack disintegrates. The Providence pack will answer for what they did, and I will assume control." Holy shit, he was going to kill me. He was actually going to kill me. I was going to die. Today was my last. My life didn't flash before my eyes as it did in the movies. All I could see was Lex. Fight. Freeze to fight. Adrenaline was coursing through my body. My pulse was practically a hum, with no individual heartbeat. This person in front of me stood between me and living. I had to keep myself alive. I was sitting on the cold, damp ground, with only my hands bound. I immediately brought my knees up to my chest and kicked my feet towards Lex's groin with all my might. Lex fell backwards as he yelped in pain. "Fuck you, you psycho!" I screamed as I struggled and wriggled, fighting my restraints. I only had seconds before he would recover and resume whatever plan he had to end my life. I was scratching the hell out of my arms as I pulled against the tree. Lex, gasping, fished into his pocket and brought out a switchblade. I heard the blade flip up as he released the safety. "You crazy bitch," he said, staggering to get back onto his feet. I kicked my legs, bringing up dirt and tufts of grass as I did, but I couldn't pull my arms free. My instinct was to protect my torso as he came towards me with the knife. I tucked my chin against my chest, closing my eyes as I kicked blindly, cursing and swearing with every breath that I had left. I was fighting. I was trying. But I was thinking of my mom. I was thinking of Shea. Of my dad. I was thinking of the people that I loved most. My last thoughts couldn't be of fear.