XXVI. Away-1

"None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, yet still we go forward. Because we trust. Because we have Faith." Paulo Coelho, Brida ---- Chapter XXVI – Away The way Cece was gushing over our room, you would have thought it was the Plaza. In reality, it was the first taste of freedom that Cece Braverman had ever had. In my reality, it was a crappy hotel room that ought to be put under a blacklight. Cece dumped her duffel bag on the squeaky spring bed closest to the window, before throwing open the thick, mustard coloured drapes. "Oh, I just love Charlotte," she squealed, taking in the view of the parking lot. I couldn't help but smile. I guess I had been fortunate. Living exactly forty-seven minutes away from the culture hub that was Manhattan for most of my life had perhaps spoiled me. I smiled as I texted my mom letting her know that we had arrived safely. Mom immediately replied back with a text asking for curious pictures of our room. I knew she just wanted to see if Shea was there. I rolled my eyes and snapped a picture of our beds, the old desk with a bible sitting pride of place, a sad looking antique armoire, one of Cece by the window, and I quickly ducked into the bathroom to take a picture. Though decidedly more modern than the bedroom, the bathroom was still a classic reflection of the eighties. "Oh, Sara, we all needed this. A getaway. All Shea can think about when we're at home is looking after Mom. And then we're all thinking about the anniversary. Being away is such a good idea." "What anniversary?" I wondered if it was the anniversary of her father's death. That ought to be very hard on Shea and Cece's mom. Cece suddenly pursed her lips and looked guilty, as if she had revealed something she shouldn't have. "Well, actually, Shea hasn't forbidden me from saying this detail. The anniversary of Lex's father's death … and yours … is November seventeenth. Sunday. It's always a day filled with conflict. I wouldn't be surprised if Shea wants to stay here with you over the weekend to keep you away." I knew I should have registered the more important detail of that revelation, that being Lex's impending outburst, but I had just found out my father's death date. November seventeenth. How many November seventeenths had I let pass without knowing its significance? "Come on," Cece encouraged. "We've got a few hours before we need to get ready for the game. I want to see some of the city." Cece and I met up with Shea and Jamie. And although the boys both wanted to visit the NASCAR museum, we ended up at the Carowinds amusement park with most of our class. Screaming my lungs out on half a dozen roller coasters helped me to forget. I didn't think about November seventeenth. I didn't think about Lex. I certainly wasn't thinking about my nerves. I was just having fun with my boyfriend like a normal teenager. We screamed together on the rides and I held on to Shea for dear life as we went down the drops. We laughed at our ridiculous expressions on the on-ride pictures and we ate all kinds of deep-fried food. As we were leaving the park to return to the hotel to get ready for the game, Shea kissed me. He kissed me deeply, holding onto me tightly. Feeling as carefree as I had in a long time, I kissed him just as passionately, smiling as I did. My heart raced as I looked up into his eyes. Shea's eyes were wide, excited, and happy.I didn't think I'd ever seen him without his usual wariness. But I loved seeing him without it. I loved seeing him happy. But as we sat together at the game, even in and amongst the atmosphere and excitement, the significance of Sunday crept back into my head. "Shea," I said, capturing his attention. Shea groaned as something happened on the field that he obviously didn't like. He looked at me. "Yeah?" he furrowed his eyebrows. "Tell me about the seventeenth." Shea stiffened, and his wariness returned, and I wanted to kick myself. He exhaled before nodding, and then said, "The seventeenth is the anniversary of the fight," he replied. "The date that both your dad and Kurt Hale were killed. Lex … he … he is always a little more unpredictable on the seventeenth. He's always antagonistic. Taunting, picking fights, causing trouble, but the seventeenth always sets him off." Lex honestly sounded as though he was stuck in the anger stage of grief and had never left. What on earth was he honestly hoping to achieve? He couldn't bring his father back. "What does he want?" I asked in quiet disbelief. "Justice," replied Shea, "or whatever his definition of justice is. He can't ever get it. He can't accept that it was a fair fight that ended badly on both sides. Because he knows you're in Providence, the seventeenth just makes me worry even more." I laid my head on Shea's shoulder and he put his arm around me, before kissing the crown of my head. "I wish you would share some of these burdens with me," I murmured. "You shouldn't have to bear them alone." I needed to suck up my own anxiety. "I appreciate that," he replied sincerely, but in a tone that told me that he wouldn't be sharing them with me. And I could hear why in his voice. I looked up at him. "You won't scare me," I assured him, convincing myself at the same time. "If I haven't run off by now, then I won't ever." "It's bad karma to make promises you can't keep, Sara," he said, smiling sadly. Just as I was about to offer a retort, Shea leapt up out of his seat along with half the stadium as they hollered and heckled at a decision made by the referee. *** I sat with Shea's words for the rest of the game, offering appropriate cheers and groans when necessary. I snapped out of my inner thoughts when Shea informed me that Josh was playing very well, which I was thankful for seeing as there was a scout at this game. But after everything, Shea really didn't hold out any hope for me. Was he really so convinced that humans were these vapid creatures? I wasn't like that. How could I convince him that I loved him? Providence ended up winning the away game by three points, which was cause for massive celebration for our school. Of course, the teachers kept us at the hotel, but there were students everywhere, in and out of rooms, which made it impossible for them to keep track of us all.