99

99
RAINA
I'm getting married. I couldn't believe it. It felt so surreal to be back at this spot. Pre wedding jitters, the ever familiar and dreaded wedding preparations. The thought of having to go through it again sent a shiver of dread through me. 
Alex was excited about it, I could see it in the way him eyes shone like I was a genie ready to grant his one unearthly wish, but did I want to get married again? To the same man? I was just as confused as a hobo in a mansion.
Being Mrs Sullivan again. My heart twisted on itself at the thought. Only problem was I wasn't sure if it was from dread, excitement or worry.
It was for the company, I reminded myself. Alex just happened to be in the right place at the right time and fit perfectly into the role, that was it. There was no other reason. Not because stupid heart ached to be in his arms every time, not because his smile sent a booster shot straight to the butterflies in my belly. I was not getting married to Alex Sullivan because I love him, it was just convenient, I reminded myself. The only thing left was to actually believe it.
Marriage was scarier than being in a haunted house alone with nothing but a broken pencil as a weapon and blowtorch as lighting. I didn't lose my shit at the meeting because I wasn't married but because I needed rest and if getting married meant stopping all the crazy at the office and getting some rest, I would, especially if I knew the man like the back of my palm.
Alex stared up at me, his eyes shining with hope, hope that didn't want even when I remained tongue tied for what felt like an eternity. What was I supposed to say? I couldn't just outrightly refuse.
"Dom, could you excuse us for a bit?" He didn't take his eyes away from mine as he made his request, he drank every expression on my face like it held the answer to everything.
"You bought a house." I breathed. It wasn't a question.
The corner of his lips tilted in a boyish grin that could melt the hardest of chocolates. "It wasn't really that much of a choice. I really hope you like it though. A part of me wasn't sure if marriage would ever be possible but still, I couldn't not buy incase..." He trailed off and grabbed the back of his neck as he avoided my gaze. "I know it stupid, but a part of me hoped you would agree to a little wooing." He let out a scoff of laughter.
"I don't think this is right" his face fell and it felt like a fist had been wrapped around my heart, "I mean, not this," I waved a hand between us, "I mean, I don't know yet if I'm ready for that yet," I groaned in frustration. It sounded so much better in my head, but the hurt in his eyes screamed I was saying all the wrong things.
I let out a shaky breath, looking away from those damn golden retriever eyes. "I don't know how I feel about the marriage thing for anything asides saving the company for now so just..." I bit my bottom lip hard enough to draw blood because there was no way to rephrase my next words, "just don't expect anything from me." I risked it. I looked him in the eyes, "Once everything dies down, we get a divorce." It didn't matter that it would make it my second divorce in less than a decade.
He winced. "Was it really that bad being married to me?"
I cocked an 'are you shitting me' brow at him.
"Fine." He lifted both hands in surrender. "But can you at least give me the chance to redeem myself and then decide if we stay married or not?" He said like the thought of the latter tore at him. On his knees, with his eyes fixed on me, pleading, he was so vulnerable. I would have to be a liar if I said I wasn't tempted to at least try.
"I can do that." I tested the words on my tongue, a silver of fear tainting my leveled voice.
The man was after my life. His lips stretched in that boyish grin that turned my insides to mush. He planted a lingering kiss on the closest hand closest to him and another one on my belly as if marking his territory, holding my gaze the entire time. 
With him on his knees, his eyes glinting with hope and challenge, my insides in disarray. It was almost like our wedding day, he had that same boyish grin, eyes shining with uncontained happiness as he went on one knees like he was proposing again as he said his vows without a script, all from his heart. 
My heart wrenched painfully because unlike that wedding, Liam and Ava were not in the picture and they would be coming for the wedding. They already witnessed one divorce they hadn't even been been part of the wedding and they hurt from that. What happens if Alex and I get a divorce again after letting them believe in a fairytale that was a wedding ceremony.
"Can you go get Dom?" He cocked a questioning brow at me, but went out still. Both men came back in and I gulped. I knew the request I had would add more hurt to the pile I'd tossed Alex, but I just couldn't beat the thought of it, the thought of Liam and Ava being witnesses to another short lived lie.
"We don't need to tell the kids or grandma about the wedding." Alex's smile faltered, the glint in his eyes dimmed. 
Dom's brows kissed in a frown, "Why?" He asked like I just told him I wanted to catch bigfoot and use him as a teddybear.
I sighed, "If the marriage doesn't work out again and we get a divorce," I avoided Alex's gaze like the plague. I could feel the heat of his atare on the sides of my face, but I didn't dare look, "it'll hurt them and I don't think I can do that, not even for the company that's trying to kick me out." I rushed. 
Dom crossed his arm over his chest, an impassive look on his face like he didn't just hear me, "And if it does?" He challenged.
I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. He was right. What if it does? There was at most a five percent chance it would, but there was also over ninety percent chance it wouldn't, past history aside. But what if it does? The words echoed in my head.
"Fine. We can keep it a secret." He caved. "For now." 
"Thank you." I let out a long breath. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, but in its place was a pile of heavy ass luggages, luggages that were the history I had with Alex.
He struggled, his eyes shifting from indifferent calm to annoyance, to confusion and back to calm.
"I'm sorry, but I just don't feel it's right to involve them." I explained, not sure why I was considering he never really cared, but I just felt an unshakeable guilt settle in my chest that I didn't need there, "At least not yet. Not until we actually get things back on track" I rushed to add.
I expected an outburst or at the very least I expected him to load me with a piece of his mind. He did neither. He shot me a tight smile.
"You should get some rest." He placed a hand on my lower back, guiding me to the headboard.

Two day passed in a blue. I spent most of it in bed even if I couldn't be off work. Nope, not because I loved lazying about while the workload piled up, but because Alex had been like a typical jailer, only letting me to get off the bed to use the restroom and frshen up. I swear, if he could follow me into the restroom, he could have. With all the time he spent hovering over me at the hospital, I couldn't help but wonder how exactly his company was doing with him gone so often.
The wedding came faster than I expected. It was an intimate gathering, if you consider a small gathering where most of the guest were my people I barely knew but were related to me in one way or the other and happened to be in town.
The choir broke into the melody that would usher me in and my hands shook. A mix of anticipation and fear. I knew it wasn't real, but no matter how many times I screamed it for my heart, she refused to get the memo and jumped everytime I caught a glimpse of him.
The minister hurried through most of the mundane processes, only slowing down when the time for the vows came. I tried writing something the night before, but what do you say to a man who looked at you like you were the reason he still took steady breaths? Like he was the luckiest man alive to have you standing before him in a rented wedding dress you didn't even pick out yourself, with no makeup, a pair of old heels and a hurriedly done sleek bun?
He smiled gently after I finished my vow. I slid the ring onto his finger and stretched out mine. Alex had never been one to go out of the way to be romantic, he probably google searched the vow or something so better to save everyone's time.
"Raina. I know I have been a shitty asshole for as long as I can remember," I stilled. He wasn't reading from a paper. Did he?... No, Alex wouldn't. "I messed up in the worst kind of way and I honestly don't know why you still gave me a chance to breathe the same air as you. You're just too selfless for your own good." He wrapped my hand in his. Heat seeped from the spot where our hands met, threatening to burn me to the ground any moment. "I want to be selfless too, but whenever you're involved I can't help but be selfish. I want you, not just in a satusfy my urges kind of way. I want every part of you. I want to be lucky enough to be there when the corner of your eyes crinkle when you laugh, I want to be the reason you laugh, I want to wake every morning and just thank you for choosing me and I hope one day you will be able to truly forgive me and let me get my selfish wishes, because I promise you I would never stop trying." 
My vision blurred. My heart clenched painfully. Every word, every sentence had been from him. Not once had he taken his eyes off of me, not once did he look away or stutter. He smiled at me with so much determination swirling in his eyes that it was impossible to breathe.
Even as we headed home to celebrate, my body still shook from the aftermath of his vow. The heat in his eyes, the vulnerability he finally showed. It was all too much.
"What the actual fuck?" Dom growled, pulling me out of the abyss that had began to reel me in.
"What?" I asked same time Alex echoed, "you good?"
Dom made a dragging sound with his teeth, "Another secret board meeting was held during the time of the ceremony." He didn't wait for our response before he stormed off. My heart sank to my toes but I rushed after him.
Their issue with me was marriage, couldn't they wait? They knew about the ceremony, so what else did they want?!
Dom straight up barged through, his body raked with barely contained rage  The board members were still seated around the round table so there was no denying what they'd been up to.
"Have you no decency?" He lashed at the head of the board, or at least former head considering someone else now held the highest number of shares in their possession all thanks to the old fools. "You wanted Raina married, well, guess what? She's married."
"Funny thing though, it doesn't matter because as of today, Raina Graham ceases to be CEO as I possess way more shares than she does." A strange voice eased, confident, cocky and not in the least bit phased by the signed marriage licence on the centre table. He slid into the seat at the head of the table, "What I say, goes." He smirked, knowing he was right.
Dom sucked in a harsh breath like he'd been bitten. "Cale Osborn." Dom spilled like he couldn't believe what he was saying, his face pale like he'd seen a ghost.
"You know him?" I whispered in his ear even if all eyes were on us.
"Yes, I've seen him around the house a lot of times. I thought he was a friend of Grandpa." The bite behind his words told me we were about to be tossed down memory lane and we wouldn't be coming out without a coatful of bruises.