95

95
ALEX
A groan echoed from my chest and shattered the dragging silence in the study. How had things piled up so much in such a short time?!
The pain in my head blossomed, threatening to split my skull in half any second, but I couldn't push things off any longer and not working meant thinking about Raina and how much she grated on my nerves lately. Yeah, working was a better alternative.
Being apart from her was torture, an ever present ache in my chest was the constant reminder that despite everything I still wanted to be with her, but hanging around and 'choking her' with attention seemed to do the exact opposite. I had to give her space, she needed it if she was ever to miss me, to realize she had feelings for me too, maybe not as much as she had in the past, but at least a little was better than nothing, I could work with a little, heck, I could work with anything she was willing to give.
I sighed, the heavy weight on my chest never lifting as I added the folder I held to the dwarfish pile of finished paperwork. The past few weeks had been hell for the company. In my absence we'd lost shareholders, deals withdrawn from the agreement table, staff going haywire and some even being so bold as to doctor the books. Everyone responsible had received a letter of termination and of course I filed a law suit against each and every one of them, but still I had to clear up their mess before I scheduled another meeting with the shareholders, dealing with them too came with a lot of additional conditions. Thankfully I was able to sway a few from the drastic changes but others had been unwilling, sad yes, but at least it was starting to look like the company I left behind again.
The door to my study swung open, hitting the wall with the force of it.
"You still haven't spoken to your sister?" Mum barged through the ajar door, her eyes wide in disbelief. It ticked me off. What was hard to believe?
"I don't speak to traitors mother." I responded in a lazy voice, my attention pinned on the fresh file I had to scrutinize, including the fine prints and vaguely worded statements, before signing.
"Vanessa is your sister, Alex." She snapped and palmed her hips, her gaze stubborn. Great, just what I needed.
"Vanessa chose to hurt me, sister or not, that makes her a traitor." I dragged, trying and failing not to lose focus of the line I was reading.
"Traitor or not, she's your sister, you should hear her out, I'm sure she has a good enough reason and if you hear her, you would forgive her." She continued, as stubborn as ever. But unlike every other time, I didn't even feel a lick of guilt as I ignored her. Raina messed up, yes but Vanessa? Vanessa chose to collude with someone whose sole purpose had been to make my life miserable from the very start. Yeah, forgiving her was not happening anytime soon.
"Mother. It is for that very reason she isn't behind bars like her scheming accomplice because believe me when I say, if I wanted to, she could have been dragged too."
She went silent after that and I waited with bated breath for her to use her words.
"Speaking of forgiveness, how's Raina?" I took a peek at her over the top of the page. Sudden change of tone and topic, but at least she dropped the Vanessa thing. Still, I was in no mood to deal with this either.
"Don't." I warned. It was so weird hearing her defend Raina, but it was even weirder how quickly she had switched from accusing Raina of being a gold digging bitch to somehow tagging her as the most hardworking and down to earth lady.

The air clawed into my cheeks the moment I stepped out of the flower store. It was the last day. I'd booked flowers and insisted on an intricately done and unique design, I made arrangements for tomorrow as well. I was going to be there with her favourite flowers and a gift which shall not be named, because I still had to make a choice from the buttload of options.
The drive back home was relaxing. No one had gone out of their way to stress me and asides my mother barging in earlier, no one else bothered me. I listened to the radio, humming to the familiar tune from Arctic monkeys.
The house came into view and I slowed the Rolls Royce into the first open spot. My phone buzzed harshly against my back pocket. Without checking the ID, I picked up.
"Hello?"
A crackle, then a woman's voice, her voice breathless, "is this Alex?"
"Speaking?
"Okay, a miss Raina Grahams is currently being managed at our facility. She was brought in earlier and your name and about two others was listed as emergency contacts." The phone almost slipped from my grip, my hands shook with nerves.
Against my better judgement and my agreement to give her space, I found myself gunning down the highway like I had just two minutes to live. Raina? In the hospital?
For the life of me, I had no idea why she had been rushed to the hospital and it killed me. Was she unwell before?
The moment I found a parking spot, I hightailed out of car and into the hospital. The Grahams were all about luxury so regular emergency beds were out of it. I found them with the help of an intern nurse. A doctor, in his mid forties, stood over Raina. His eyes scanned the small paper for a minute longer. After a while, his lips stretched in a smile so wide, I couldn't believe it.
"Well, I guess congratulations are in order!" He chirped, the wide smile stretched even wider. "Miss Graham is pregnant." On the one hand, that did explain her being admitted to begin with.
I couldn't help it. A laugh rumbled in my chest and echoed in the room. All heads snapped to me, brows arched. I didn't care. This had to be the best news ever!
My cheeks hurt from smiling so much, but I couldn't help it. I was granted another chance to make up for my past mistakes, for abandoning her when she needed me the most. Not anymore. This time would be different. Even if it killed me, I was going to treat her like I should have from the very beginning.
Groans from the bed pulled my attention back to the present. The doctor was no where in sight.
"Congrats man." Dom opened his arms for a hug and I returned it. He left right after, just as groaning gave way to stiffling and tossing till her eyes snapped open.
The first thing I did was break the news to her. I wasn't sure what I expected, maybe not glee, but at least something, anything but the look she gave me. Her lips curled in distaste, her eyes grew distant, her entire body curled like she'd been threatened with a bucket of acid. It broke me. Wasn't she happy? Was she upset I ignored her these past few days or was it something else? Was the past rearing up it's ugly head in her mind? Whatever it was, she didn't look the least bit pleased to entertain the 'good' news. Heck, she looked angry. Her eyes flared wide, the vein in her temples throbbed uncontrollably.
"Get out." I turned to face her, wait what?! "I said get out!" She snapped, her voice loud enough for anyone passing to hear.
" Raina it's not going to b-"
She sucked in a harsh breath like I was some bothersome child who refused to listen, but I couldn't just leave, not when she thought the worst of me.
"I think you should listen," Faith whispered, her gaze apologetic and pitiful. "Your presence is stressing her out and the doctor insisted we reduce stress as much as we can." Faith added, avoiding my gaze the entire time.
I stared in disbelief still as Dom followed me out of the ward. Did Raina actually kick me out? I mean I knew she was mad, still hated me for what happened, but not this mad.
Dom followed me out of the hospital and I drove us straight home with a pit in my stomach.
"You fucked up man. Big time." Dom wasted no time blurting the moment we stepped into the living room. Don't I always? Whenever Raina was involved, it just seemed like I never seized to fuck things up gloriously.
"I know." I grunted back.
"So what's the plan now? He dumped himself into one of the plush couches in the living room.
"Simple. Get her to retake the vows we took. I wasn't me wife back. I mean, she's the reason I've done everything I've done up until recently."
Dom nodded, albeit distracted, "then you have a lot of making up to do. Starting with the ignoring part." I nodded, in spite of the argument on the tip of my tongue. I had been away because I had to be, the company had been neglected for far too long.
I went to bed that night with one thought in mind. I had to make things right, treat her better, show her how much I actually loved her, enough of telling.

I was at her door before the day even got bright. Faith snuck me in barely 4am in the morning. I got to work immediately, missing the eggs, spicing the bacon, heating up sausages and perfecting the pancake mix. I felt proud when I stared at a proper plate of English breakfast at exactly 6am.
With a skip in my steps, I made my way to her room with the tray of food. I knocked once before letting myself in. Raina laid in bed, light snores leaked from her lips every fery minutes and I shamelessly watched her sleep. After what felt like 15mins, I let myself in fully and shut the door behind me.
I placed the tray by the nightstand and dipped into her bed. She groaned quietly, but didn't wake up still. The sun hit her face at just the right angle, highlighting her high cheekbones, the hint of a resting dimples and smile lines that made her look absolutely stunning. Her hair was held back in a loose ponytail but strands were all over the place and her bonnet was nowhere to be found.
I slipped a stray strand behind her ear and wanted to punch myself in the gut when it woke her up.
She jerked away like I was some creep. Maybe I was. But the disgusted look on her face made it harder to ignore the growing ache in my chest.
"What are you doing here? She hissed.
"I-" I cleared my throat, "I made breakfast for you, figured you might be too exhausted when you wake up." I explained, handing the tray over to her. It barely made it halfway to her before she turned away, her hand fisted, guarding her nostrils.
"Please leave." It was barely above a whisper, but the meaning was loud enought for any man in love to hear.
I wasn't going to argue. I wasn't going to make things even worse. I left the plate by the nightstand and exited the room feeling worse than I did before. I was so lost in thoughts that I almost ran into Faith.
"How did it go?" She asked, stopping me in my tracks.
"Horrible. She's apparently not in the mood." Or maybe it was just that the food was horrible.
Faith palmed her temples and shook her head, "I doubt that." She sighed, "She was nauseous all through last night. I should have mentioned this earlier but it skipped my mind, I'm so sorry." She explained, her gaze apologetic.
"It's fine." I sighed. It wasn't her fault.
"How about you ask her what she wants instead?" I almost smack myself in the head. How hadn't I thought of that?!
I rushed back to Raina's room, without beating around the bush, "what would you like me to do for you?" I rushed out.
She lifted her, surprised coated her eyes for a second before it's quickly replaced by confusion. "I would love it if you get the hell out."
I wished I could say I hadn't been expecting it, but that would have been a lie. Still, knowing or rather expecting it, didn't make the stab of pain any less ruthless as her words cut into me. The second time today she had asked me to leave and the third since the hospital.
I forced my lips shut and excused myself. There was no point, I should have given her the space like I planned to.
"So? What did she say?" Faith leaned forward, her elbows on her knees as she listened, her eyes wide with curiosity. Dom on the other hand, sat beside her, one leg crossed over the other.
I sighed, ashamed even before the words left my mouth, "she asked me to get out." I mumbled, a little pissed.
What happened next made that alot pissed. Dom and Faith exploded in the most mocking laughter, one that curled up my insides and squeezed my already hurting heart tighter.
"I swear if you were a dog, you would literally have a tail wagging between your legs at this rate." Dom snickered, the fist in front of his face barely containing his laughter.
Faith let our spills of laughter, she tried sobering up after one look at my unimpressed face, but only lasted a second before she burst out laughing again.
"It's not funny." I grunted and dropped into the couch across from them.
Faith waved her hands in the air, tears at the corner of her eyes, "Fine! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," she slammed her lips together and it didn't take a genius to know she was holding back laughter. It wasn't even that damn funny! "You should get her some ice cream then. Pregnancy hormones makes us crazy and irritable, ice cream is always a soothing balm." She managed to say after what felt like an eternity of being ridiculed. By my own friends!
"Wouldn't that be too cold for the baby?"
"It's a little too early for that. Plus, babies love sweet things, I'm sure he or she would be fine." She shrugged.
I nodded and grabbed a bowl of vanilla, chocolate and strawberry. There was an Oreo flavoured on in there too so I grabbed it. I juggled the heavy bowls down the hallway, keeping them close to my chest the entire time. Cold seeped through my clothes and to my body, numbing the entire area, but I couldn't find it in me to care.
I kicked the door gently and shuffled through the doorway with the bowls of ice cream.
"I thought I told you to leave? How many more times do it have to say it before you listen?" Raina hissed, the bite on her voice enough to zap life right back into my numbing chest.
I was about to make a U turn but stopped last minute. What was I doing? It was only day one and I was already breaking my promise to be by her side through the entire process. I slammed the door behind me and faced her.
"No. Not until you hear me out." I kept my voice neutral, the last thing I wanted to do was trigger her.
"Oh, so now you have something to say?" It was a question, but one I didn't dare answer. She had her answer and would not listen to anything I had to say if I could accept that.
I closed the distance to the bed and placed the bowls of ice cream on the nightstand. The tray I had left before was shiny, not a drop of food was left. I fought back a smile.
"What's so funny?" She snapped, eyeing me like I was gum stuck beneath her shoe. Her hair was all over the place, her forehead creased in a deep frown, yet somehow she still looked amazing. Before I could overthink it, I slammed my lips against hers. Her reaction was instant, her hands curled around my neck, just the way they were meant to be. Talk! Right. Before I could get lost in the kiss and forget why I was even there to begin with, I pulled back.
"You need to shut up and hear me out." I said in a low voice, my forehead still rested against hers as we shared the same air.
She sighed. She pulled away, crossing her arms over her chest, she mumbled, "Fine, I'm listening."
I faced her. I needed her to see my every expression, she needed to know I meant every word I was about to say. "The past few weeks have been hell because not only am I having a hard time letting things go, my company is in a really bad state and I'm only just making the first step of progress." I said carefully, counting the words to make sure I didn't trigger her. "So I understand that maybe I'm too in your face and seeing as I have to deal with work to, I guess, it's a sign that we need a bit of space right now to clear our thoughts."
Her face was blank, irreadable as my words sank in. "And if I don't care about space anymore?" She asked, her voice quiet.
"Then I would be here before you can even say it a second time." I responded on instinct because I'd already made up my mind. I was going to be there for her every single time she needed me.
She held my gaze for a long moment without saying anything, "It's torture." She groaned into a pillow.
"Why?" I arched a brow, genuinely confused and maybe a little distracted too. Scratch that, alot distracted. Her lips were like beacons, calling to me every damn second! She didn't respond still.
I moved closer and cradled her cheek in my palm, holding her gaze, "Raina, why is spending time apart torture for you?" I asked, my voice softer than I ever thought it capable of.
Tears pooled at the corner of her eyes and guilt gripped me in a chokehold. I knew why. I just needed to hear her say it. I needed to be sure I wasn't the one just going crazy, just wishing and seeing things that weren't there.
I gathered her in my arms, "It's okay. Don't answer that."
"I love you." She whispered, her head rested on my chest, her arms circled around me. "I don't think I ever stopped." She choked on a sob. Finally!
"I love you." I lifter her chin so she saw I meant every word.