106

106
RAINA 

The minute I stepped out of the bathroom, the sight in front of me made me freeze. 

Alex was sitting by my side of the bed and he had my phone in his hand. His jaw was tight and his unreadable as he held my phone like it was hot coal burning his hand. 

“Why are you with my phone? Are you going through it?” I asked even though the answer was quite obvious, my voice was low and barely audible. “Why would you go—?”

“That’s beside the point right now, Raina,” he snapped as he got to his feet. “Why the hell are you exchanging messages with Carter? Why the fuck did you send the evidence to him?”

So I was right, he had gone through my phone and had read all my messages. 

I slowly walked towards him, my anger suddenly rising and bubbling over. “I did what I knew had to be done.”

“We had a plan, Raina,” he replied, his voice louder than before. “Dom and I, we were handling it and things were going as they should.”

“Handling it?” I repeated, my voice cracking as the little restraint I had finally snapped. “What plan? To keep using me as bait? To wait until Nathan came for me?”

My words hit him hard and he recoiled but only for a second. It was small, quick but I had seen it. Guilt flashed across his eyes and I knew he regretted that it was what they had planned and he hadn’t e texted me to find out about it. 

I let out a bitter laugh as my stomach twisted into knots. “You really thought that I didn’t know? Too bad because I had overheard you both when you were freely talking about it and making plans like I am some pawn in a stupid game. I’m pregnant, Alex! Does that fact mean nothing to you?”

“Raina, it’s not what you think—“

“Don’t fucking lie to me,” I cut him off, my voice louder than ever, it was filled with every anger and pain that was coursing through me. “You know it is exactly what it is. You were willing to risk it all—risk mine and my baby’s life for a plan you both weren’t even sure would work. What if something had gone wrong? Why if Nathan had somehow figured it out? What if I had lost the baby?”

He looked sad and opened his mouth like he wanted to say something but nothing came out so he shut it back. Just silence and that alone cut deeper than any words he could have uttered would. 

“I didn’t go to Carter because I wanted to be the hero or because I didn’t think it through,” I continued, my breathing unsteady. “I went to him because I was tired of waiting without a solution being provided. Nathan has ruined our lives and he had us wrapped in his fingers, it was ling overdue and I had to do something. I did it because I was tired of waiting for the perfect plan that never seemed to come. Plus you and Dom? You guys have been dragging your feet for weeks.”

“Only because we were trying to play smart and be careful,” he muttered under his breath.

“Smart? Careful? Something that doesn’t work with Nathan because he is playing god with our lives. Can’t you fucking see it!” I snapped. “You can’t keep gambling with me and our family. Carter might be a pain in the but he’s the only one I know—only person I trust not to be bought. He’s not under Nathan’s payroll and he’s our best bet at getting justice.”

He clenched his jaw and his face was red with anger. “Dom said we would hand over the evidence after we get back the company. Not before and definitely not like this. Now our chances have been ruined and not only is what you did stupid, it is also dangerous and this wouldn’t end well.”

“Well, too bad,” I said with mock concern. “Because I already made the choice and I’m sticking with it.”

“Your plan is not only stupid, it’s also very risky!” He said again like I hadn’t heard him the first time. 

“Oh, please,” I said as I rolled my eyes. “You don’t get to act like I’m the villain here.” My voice was sharp as I folded my arms across my chest. 

He didn’t say anything, he just kept staring at me like he couldn’t believe I was the one saying all of these to him. 

“I did what I had to do, Alex,” I said, my voice calmer. “I’m tired, Alex. Tired of Nathan breathing down our neck, tired of being scared and watching my back. I’m tired of all of it.”

He still didn’t say anything. 

“I honestly thought if anyone would understand why I did it, it would be you,” I muttered under my breath. “We got divorced once and you know what it feels like to lose me. And now that we’re married again… what is the point if you lose me again? Didn’t we get back together so you could protect me? Protect the kids?”

Still nothing. 

“You’re mad because I somehow ruined the plan?” I asked, letting out a humorless laugh. “The same plan that involved keeping secrets from me? The plan that involved me pretending like I was okay with being the pawn. That plan also unveiled waiting for God knows how long until you did something about Nathan.”

Alex’s jaw tightened. “You put everything at risk!”

“You put me at risk!” I screamed as tears fell down my face. “This was a better plan than what you and Dominic wanted to do.”

“That’s enough,” he finally said.

“No,” I snapped. “You don’t get to shut me up while you lecture me about what’s right or wrong.”

The door slowly opened and I turned to see Dominic walk into the room, his eyes sleepy and tired. Our noise must have woken him up. “It’s too late for all of this,” he said quietly. “Both of you are frustrated and tired but this… this fighting? It’s not going to help with anything.”

“I was right Dominic,” Alex said angrily. “She had gone behind our back and—“ but I didn’t let him finish before I cut him off. 

“I did it to save our family!” I snapped. 

“You put yourself at risk! What if Nathan finds out about it?” Alex asked, his voice low and cold. 

“That doesn’t matter because if I hadn’t done something or thought of other plan, not only me but all of us would end up dead or at Nathan’s mercy,” I replied, my voice barely above a whisper. 

Doing stepped in between the two of us and he raised his hands. “Okay, that’s enough. For the both of you.”

But Alex wasn’t even looking at me anymore, his face was blank but I could see the veins on his head looking like they were about to pop. 

“I suggest you both go to bed and figure this out in the morning,” Dominic said as he walked towards the door. “I don’t want to hear you arguing anymore.”

With that, he walked out of the room and silently closed the door behind him. 

Alex finally turned back to me but he didn’t say anything and neither did I. We kept staring at each other in silence and his fingers curled so hard around the phone that I thought it would break. My breathing was unsteady and I took in deep breaths trying to get myself to calm down. The tension in the room grew and it felt like a heavy weight that I couldn’t shake off was pressing down on my chest. 

Alex looked me in the eyes, opened his mouth before he shut it and just like that, he walked past me and out of the room. 

He didn’t slam the door nor did he turn once to look at me. He just left. 

I didn’t know how long I had stood in that position before my legs finally gave up on me. I walked to the bed and sat at the edge with a heavy heart and trembling hands. 

That night as I laid in bed with my eyes wide opened, staring at the ceiling, my mind was racing. 

I kept thinking of how he had brushed past me, the way he had closed the door and the silence that had filled the room with him gone. 

Maybe I was wrong. 

Maybe I should have waited but I was tired. So fucking tired of Nathan’s stupid obsession with me. Of the way Dominic even considered using me to lure him and of being the only one who was worried about what might happen if we didn’t act fast. 

And even if Dominic didn’t understand me and if Alex didn’t either then what was left for me?

Getting married to Alex again was supposed to protect me from all of this but now I was pregnant and alone in a room that once felt safe. And all I could do was cry quietly as I blamed myself for it all. 

Was I wrong?

No, because I did what I had to do but it felt so wrong because I did it behind their backs. 

Morning came faster than usual but the tension still hadn’t left the air and everywhere felt dull. 

Alex hadn’t come back to the room and I had barely gotten any sleep. I kept tossing and turning as I waited and paid attention to every break in the house and stupidly hoping that he would return. But he didn’t. 

Faith came in with a mug filled with hot chamomile tea and sat beside me in the bed after she handed it over. 

“I heard you guys fighting,” she said, her voice soft and filled with understanding. 

Of course she had, we weren’t exactly trying to keep quiet. 

“I had to do it, faith,” I mumbled. “You belive me, don’t you?”

Faith moved closer to me and reached for my hand. “Of course I do, Raina. I get it but the men don’t. They think they’re protecting us by keeping us out of it and deciding for us, but all they do is risk our lives because we have no idea what’s going on. You did what you thought was best—you had to do it.”

Tears welled up in my eyes, burring my vision. “Then why do I feel so horrible? Why does it feel like I have ruined everything?”

“That because you’re worried about what Alex thinks of you,” she simply said as she gently rubbed my back. 

During breakfast, I tried to talk to Alex again. I walked to the living room where he was sitting beside Dominic but he was barely saying anything, I placed his food in front of him but he didn’t spare me a glance. 

“Alex,” I called gently. “Can we talk?”

He got up and walked past me without a word and my chest ached as my stomach twisted. 

I walked back to the kitchen dejected and I didn’t realize Faith had entered until she placed her hand on my shoulders. 

“He still doesn’t want to talk to me,” I said with a sigh. 

“Give him some time,” she urged. “You didn’t do anything wrong and he’ll eventually come around.”

But what if he didn’t? A tiny voice at the back of my mind asked. 

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” I confessed. “I have ruined everything.”

She gently squeezed my shoulder, offering me a small smile. “Don’t say that,” she chastised. “You did the right thing. Even if they can’t see it yet.”

I watched Alex leave with Dominic after breakfast and even though I tried to reach out to him all day, it was futile. I tried to keep myself busy by chatting with Faith and organizing things but it didn’t work. 

Dinner time eventually came and they returned back home, I expected him to be calmer and would be more open to talking to me but I was wrong. 

He simply brushed into the house, walked into the room, freshened up, grabbed his keys and leave the house again without as much as a word to me. 

I let out a sigh and decided to go on with preparing dinner when I suddenly started feeling dizzy. My hands trembled as I reached for the chair to stable myself. 

The world around me shifted as my eyes became blurry. 

“Raina…” Faith yelled in worry and that was the last thing I heard before my knees gave out and darkness surrounded me. 

The first thing I saw when I opened my eyes was the familiar ceiling of my room and I blinked hard, trying to regain myself. 

“Raina,” a voice softly called. It was the doctor. 

I tried to seat up but realized that I was too weak to. “What happened?”