Chapter 33 Chapter 32:
Devon:
My twin brother, the one I haven’t seen for many years, is seated right across Arya with that mischievous glint in his eyes. My blood boils and anger blurs through my eyes. Just seeing him has brought out many emotions that I try to keep hidden.
I keep my face blank, not letting the rage take control. I have to be in control. I glance at the necklace around his neck, the word ‘Liam’ shining against the light, our mother gave us that on our ten years birthday, it’s so hard to put it on, which is why it’s buried deep in my bedside drawer in my bedroom, I can’t even bring myself to look at it.
Yet, here is he, wearing it ever so proudly.
Before, they can react. I turn and begin walking out of the room, not even sparing anyone a backward glance, I ignore every eye on me, they can take photos for all I care, they can paint me horribly and call me names in the media, but right now, I just want to get out of here.
Arya races behind me, “Devon, wait!”
I reach outside, my hands trembling as I grip the door of my car open.
“Please, just talk to him.” Her gray-blue eyes glint as she grabs my wrist. Her warm touch almost has me jerking back.
Talk to him? Why wasn’t he there when I wanted to talk to him? Why did he leave me here and walk away so care-free?
“Why is my brother here, Arya?” I ask calmly, keeping my anger at bay. This is the quality of me that I am not proud of, I hate whenever this side of me pops out, because I might say words I might end up regretting. “Answer me, Arya.”
“I invited him.” She speaks up, staring at me with what I must assume to be grief. My jaw twitches in anger, the demons screaming inside me.
“Why?”
“Because you need to talk to him, Dev.” I flinch at her words. “I don’t know what happened between the both of you, but I am sure it will help lift away the weight on your shoulders-”
“What?” I blink and she steps back. “Do you think of me as some broken, damaged man you can fix?” My voice breaks, revealing the rawness underneath.
Eyes wide, she shakes her head and whispers. “No. Dev. I don’t think you are broken.”
“Please stop calling me that.” I say coldly, “do you think that somehow you have all the broken parts of me and you can piece them back together? Well guess what, don’t bother, I don’t want to get fixed.” The words coming out of my mouth feels so pathetic, she recoils back, as if she’s hurt by my words, but I am so angry at myself for lashing out.
Before I say anything I might regret, I get into the car and drive away aimlessly until the city lights blurs in the background, hours pass, maybe more, I don’t care, I feel frustrated, the stress pressing heavily on me, my knuckles tighten around the steering wheel until they turn pale white.
My mind is a mess, a whirlwind of pain and anger.
Even though the beach is closed for the day, I drive my car there and park, staring at the vast, dark ocean. Leaning on the leather chair, I force myself to breathe in and out, but it’s not working. It’s just so hard to imagine him here after everything.
The beach was one of my mother’s favorite places. We celebrated our tenth birthday here. I couldn’t forget her face as she gave us the necklace boxes. Liam and I weren’t excited about the necklaces, but we didn’t want to disappoint her, she looked so happy. We had to smile widely.
My mind drifts back to when everything was normal, the times we rode our bike without caring about life, the time life meant so much more to me, the time before everything went to hell.
I remain like that, letting the silence calm me as I just stare.
“I am sorry, mother.” I say silently, my voice cracking. “I am so sorry for everything.” By the time I reach home, it’s already dark; the lights in the hallway are already out.
I go to Vera’s room and see my daughter on her bed, her curls surrounding her face, she looks so innocent, I don’t want her having a broken family, I want the best for her, and I will do everything in my power to make sure she didn’t go through what I went to.
I unlock the door of my room and step in, sitting at the edge of the bed. I scratch the nape of my neck, feeling horrible, I rarely lose my temper, but today just seeing him made me flare up in ways I didn’t even imagine. I hear a gentle knock on the door and Arya peeks in.
“Can I come in?” She asks softly, fluttering her lashes. My chest hurts, why is she here? I nod at her and she gently opens the door before padding over to me, her hair is loose, falling over her shoulders and she’s wearing a faint top and pajama trousers.
She sits beside me on the bed, “I am sorry for inviting your brother, but there’s just something we can’t ignore in families. They are the one who hold us together, who fight for us when we need them.”
I turn to face her. “Families don’t run away from each other, do they?”
She sighs, before pulling me into her and for the first time, I didn’t resist. I bury my face into her neck, breathing in the comfortable scent of her perfume, it’s soft, like jasmine and lilies. Her arms tighten around me, like she knows I need this more than I will ever admit. “I don’t think you are emotionally damaged.”
I release myself from her embrace and look her in the eye.
“At all.” Her voice is much firmer, “Devon, it’s okay to be scared, to face something you don’t want to. But, sooner or later, you have to talk to him. He’s your brother, your twin.”
Her words don't make me feel better but thinking about how she went through all these troubles just to bring him here makes me respect her the most. I don’t want to face Liam, but for her, I will.
“I will talk to him.”
“Great.” Arya’s eyes light up in a way that I haven’t seen before. “I will text him tonight and you can have breakfast here with him and Vera.” She’s still smiling, “and just so you know, I am not trying to fix you. You are not broken, okay?”
I feel my eyes growing heavier the more as I nod my head. Arya notices this and makes to stand up, but my hand tugs at her shirt, my weakness sipping in. “Stay,” I say quietly, my voice hoarse. “Please.”
Her eyes soften as she looks at me, without hesitating, she slips into the bed before wrapping her hands around me and at that moment, I let myself feel safe.
\--
The next morning when I wake up, Arya’s no longer in the bed. I am assuming she’s downstairs. I open the bedside drawer and begin digging through countless books, papers and pens until I see it hidden underneath.
My own necklace...I stare at it, the word ‘Devon’ glinting in my eyes, it makes me smile bitterly as I strap it on. After performing my morning routine, I walk downstairs in a comfortable shirt and trousers, the smell of freshly brewed coffee hitting me.
I stop halfway when I see Arya by the kitchen counter, talking softly to Vera. My daughter claps and giggles, her cheeks flushed. Arya looks radiant, she always does, but today she’s breathtaking, dressed in a fitted black blouse, the fabric clings to her curves with a deep v-neck that shows enough skin.
My legs feel weak and suddenly, it’s hard to breathe. She cranes her neck and catches me staring at her. “Oh, I didn’t see you there. Morning.”
“Morning.” I swallow as she makes her way to me, she stares at my necklace for a while, expressing her admiration.
“Liam will be here any second.”
“Yeah.”
“You will be okay,” She smiles. “Well have fun, the babysitter will be here when you are leaving for work.” She grabs her purse from the counter, presses a soft kiss on Vera's forehead and walks out the door.
“Looks like daddy is going to spend the next few hours with his brother.” I tell my daughter and her green eyes lighten up, as if she understands what I mean. The doorbell rings, I answer it.
Liam’s standing in front of the door, a cardigan draped over his body and khaki pants. “Don’t ask me, it’s a horrible choice of clothing, I know,” he shoves past me into my own house, his first gaze drops on Vera and he moves closer, scooping her up.
“Who’s this little angel?” He asks, his voice warm and playful.
My voice is strained. “Yes...Liam meet Vera, my daughter.”
“I can see that, she looks so much like me, man.” Vera squeals, laughing as she nestles into him and I can’t help but watch, feeling a mixture of emotions. He is holding her as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, as if he hasn’t missed all that time.
Seeing Liam like this in a different way is surprising. When we were kids, I never could have thought he would be here, smiling and laughing at my daughter.
“She’s adorable.” He says, dropping her back on the chair. Together, we move towards the kitchen and I pour him a glass of wine, we drink together, sighing as we lean against the counter.
“You are wearing the necklace mother gave us.” Liam’s voice is strained, I didn’t even expect him to notice. “Look dude, I am sorry I left, it was the only thing I could think of.”
I don’t blame him though, honestly I could have left too, forget about Barbara and my father, but I am tied here. In an attempt to make small talk, I ask. “For the record I am not letting you stay at my house, get a hotel room, what do you do now?”
“I write....true crime and all that.” To be frank, it surprises me, back when we were kids, he wouldn’t even pick up a single book. “Your girlfriend, Arya. Damn, she loves you, I can’t think of any person who would go to that extent to find someone.”
“She’s not in love with me.” Before I can think, I blurt out.
“What?” Liam looks at me curiously, dropping his glass on the table. There's a way my brother looks at someone, like they are the only person that matters in the world.
Liam is the quiet but brooding type.
There was this one time when we were eleven and our mother forced us to socialize because we kept to ourselves, so she arranged a group sleepover with a couple kids from school, one of them said something to me that wasn’t a compliment and that night, the kid woke up with his pillow full of cockroaches, Liam gave me that glint in his light eyes and went back to bed, as if nothing happened.
I tell my brother everything, including how we met at a cruise, had a one night stand and ended up here. Liam always told me everything when we were little, I was his personal diary and now, it just feels comforting talking to Liam.
It feels like old times.
“Okay.” Liam says when I am done. “Well....I have written countless novels and none had a happy ever after, but for your case. I know you will, I can see the look in her eyes, she looks at you as more than the father of her child.”
“Will you?” I ask him, looking into his eyes. “Will you eventually settle down?”
He shakes his head and for a moment, bitterness crosses his emerald orbs. “I don’t know, Dev. For now, I am engrossed in my writing, it’s hard to find that one person you can put over everything and I haven’t found that person yet.”
I nod my head, understanding. “You are back now; Barbara and father will want to see you.”
Liam’s face hardens. “She will request dinner from me, why don’t we give her a shocking surprise?”
“Which is?”
Liam stares at me for a while. “Announce me to the world; let them know that Devon Brookes’ twin brother is back to New York.”