"Everything's okay. Right, Kar?" Was it obvious in my face that it wasn't? "I mean with...us. You and me." He sent me a sheepish smile. "You still love me, right? Do you still love me, Kar?" When he was younger, he used to ask this all the time whenever he did something wrong. It had always tugged at my heartstrings and this time wasn't any different. Dylan was insecure and worried he'd lose the people he loved. Her absence played a huge part my dad had said about my mother. He was right. "Yes, you know I do. No worries." I pinched a piece of bread and shoved it in his mouth. "And other than we have to be here, all is well in the kingdom. We better join the circus." "Aw no. What about Andrew?" "Just make the sign of the cross. He usually gets scared and disappear in a puff of smoke. Lezzzzgo." It wasn't so bad whenever I heard my dad having a great time on the other side of the room, surrounded by his siblings and their spouses. It was rare to see him not working, even rarer to see him taking a break. Most of my cousins had already left, save for Cecille who was watching Netflix with me and Dylan in the living room, and Aunt Elisa's kids who had locked themselves in their bedrooms. Either waiting for the apocalypse or the pizza delivery guy. I Facetimed with Tala and Mrs. B earlier. Tala sounded less nervous and more excited than last week. She talked about how hot it was in the Philippines, how fresher and sweeter the fruits tasted, how her aunts spoiled her with all her favorite foods, and how everyone in her town woke up at dawn to attend Simbang Gabi. She sounded so happy that when she asked how I was, I couldn't spoil that by telling her about my fight with Cameron. I didn't want to talk about me, anyway. I wanted to hear more about her. We ended the call with a promise that I'd visit her next year. "Kar," Dylan whined. "Can we go home yet?" "You've asked me that eight times now." I glanced at the gathering in the dining room. "They're running out of booze. Give it another hour." He sighed loudly. "I'm getting cake. Want some?" "I'm good." "You're not though," Cess said when Dylan left. We were slumped on the couch, feet up on the coffee table, a throw pillow on our laps. "Boy trouble?" "You got a crystal ball up your ass or what?" "Wouldn't fit. Is it your boyfriend Damon?" "What? What?" "Damon. Isn't he your boyfriend?" "What makes you say that?" "Am I wrong?" "Are you wrong?" I heard hysteria in my voice. "Are you wrong?" She studied me. "I have trouble understanding words too sometimes. Spelling it helps. Should I write it down for you?" Stunned, I slumped deeper into the couch. I was angry at Cameron for thinking that there was something more between me and Damon because it was clear in my mind that there wasn't. I never really thought how Damon and I appeared together in other people's eyes. In Cameron's eyes. Suddenly I realized how Cess wasn't the first person to assume that Damon was my boyfriend. Tala did too, the people at church, my coworkers who'd seen Damon deliver my lunch at work when I'd forgotten it. They all asked if Damon was my boyfriend. I got so used to it and didn't pay any attention to it because it was so ridiculous. Just ridiculous. Damon is my brother. What the hell is wrong with the world? * "Damon, I need to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me." The night breeze was cold and damp as I paced in Aunt Elisa's backyard. When I heard the neighbor's dog bark once, then twice, I threw a nervous glance toward it and walked closer to the backdoor just in case. In my experience, dogs consider me as one of their food groups. Couldn't blame them really. I probably smelled fabulous. "Kara, it's one in the morning." I woke him up. I could hear the sleep in his voice and the rumple of sheets as he shifted in bed. "Look, the dress doesn't make you fat. Your butt looks bigger in it and the color makes your skin glitter. There, are we cool? Can I go back to sleep now?" "Are you in love with me?" The silence stretched infinitely and was heavy with meaning. My heart began to pound. "No," I choked. "Don't. Damon, you can't." "Kara, darling, what was in that drink?" "Answer me." I heard his deep inhale and the slow exhale that followed. "Did you break up with your boyfriend and you need an ego boost? Tell me so I know how to answer you." Now I was the one who stayed silent. I could hear my fast, shallow breaths as I waited for him to answer. Afraid of what I was going to hear. "I love you, Kara," he said. And my stomach dropped. "But I'm not in love with you." "Thank God!" I leaned against the wall when my knees began to shake in relief. If Damon said he was in love with me, I didn't know what I'd do. All I knew was that I didn't want him to be and I didn't want to lose him. "Same. Thanks, Dame." "Ouch. You didn't have to sound so relieved about it. I'm not that ugly. Am I? What's this about?" More rustling. "Are you alright?" "Never been better! Sorry I woke you up. Yo the man, Dame. Night." I hung up.