Chapter 68

"Why did Clayre saying that affect you? Do you have children?" She holds the papers in her hands, and her expression saddens.

"Yes, I have Baylor, but I lost my daughter when she was still a baby, during childbirth, and that’s why I chose to become a nurse, to help, comfort, and give my best to everyone who suffers, and maybe even manage to extend their lives as much as possible."

"She's definitely Clayre’s mother."

"If your daughter were alive, what would you say to her?" Emma pauses for a few seconds, staring at me, surprised by the question.

"Well, oh, there are so many years. But I think I would tell her that I loved her every day since she left. Every night, I looked at the sky, and somehow I would see a star, and it seemed to be her shining. I... I would tell her I would give anything to see her one day because I never had the chance to see her face when I woke up from the coma, she had already gone."

"I'm sorry, I’m so sorry. I..." I apologize, wiping away an intrusive tear that fell from my eyes.

"Look how sweet, you’re crying. I didn’t imagine my story would affect you."

"Ah..." I force a half-smile and adjust myself in the chair. "Men cry after all," I conclude, and we smile together. "It’s just that I remembered my girlfriend, you know? She’s sick and needs a bone marrow donation."

"Yes, I’ve had cases like hers in my family; it’s a genetic disease. I’m a donor." Her revelation makes it clear she is not compatible with Clayre, bringing great desolation to my heart.

"And your son?"

"Oh no, he was traumatized by the loss of his sister. He was 10 years old at the time and never wanted to enter a hospital again. My girlfriend was born here, in this hospital."

"Really? I didn’t look at her whole file."

"Yes, it was on July 21st. 18 years ago." The woman turns pale.

"Do you believe in miracles?"

Emma frowns, furrowing her brows and narrowing her gaze, searching for meaning in my question.

"Yes, I believe in miracles." Disguising her discomfort with my invasive manner, she hands me the test result.

"Unfortunately, you’re not compatible." I am frustrated with her revelation.

"I’m not, but maybe your son is," I say without thinking.

"What does my son have to do with this? I’ll call security, I’m starting to feel uncomfortable with your questions." Her face turns fearful.

"No, wait..." I plead. "Okay, I’ll be direct. Maybe you won’t believe me, but your daughter didn’t die that day."

"Get out of here!" she shouts anxiously, her breath becoming deep.

"Emma, did your husband ever confess that he gave your daughter to a stranger who had killed her own baby?" Her breathing, which was heavy, stops. Her face pales, and she brings her hand to her lips.

"What is this? How do you know about the crazy things my husband said? Did you learn about our story? You don’t joke about this. He was suffering. He thought he would lose me, and he went mad after losing our daughter."

"No, not at all. I’m here because a woman I know confessed that on July 21st, a man gave her a baby to exchange for his own, and she accepted but never managed to love the child."

"Who is the child?"

"Clayre, my girlfriend. She needs to find her real family. I need to save her, and I don’t care if you think I’m crazy, but I won’t give up until you believe me."

"That girl?"

"Yes." She goes silent, thinking.

"Clayre doesn’t know anything."

"What?"

"She doesn’t know that Liana isn’t her real mother. We found out through the refusal for the donation, and we don’t know if we should tell her or not, but I beg you." I fall to my knees, and the woman’s eyes widen.

"You need to believe me. You need to save my golden star."

"I need to see her. First, I need to be sure."

"Of course, but how will you be sure without a test?"

"I just need to look into her eyes, I need to..."

"Look, this revelation was shocking for us. Clayre is attached to her father; he’s suffering a lot from all of this, but right now, we just want to see her well. Your son can take the test, and as a sibling, the chance of compatibility is high."

"He wouldn’t come to the hospital."

"Tell him the truth. Look, I have no reason to lie. I live here in Miami, everyone knows my bar, and if you want, you can question my family. I’m not crazy. I’m desperate, it’s different. This big secret was revealed yesterday, and it might be the only way to save the woman I love, so making all this up doesn’t make sense, especially since the chances of compatibility are low." The woman looks down, thinks for a few seconds, and raises her face.

Her gaze carries traces of suffering, the same I see in Clayre. One suffered from the lack of a mother, and the other from the absence of the daughter she swore she had lost.

"Reliving all of this will bring great anguish to me and my son. But I believe in you. Something inside me won’t let me refuse, and I automatically remember my husband. He suffered for years, tormented; we thought he was out of his mind, that he fantasized and became psychotic, and now, hearing your words, maybe we were negligent. He once said that right after giving our daughter away, he went after the woman to take her back, but she moved away, and he could never find her again. He spent years repeating this, didn’t sleep, became depressed, and in the end, lost his sanity over a guilt we thought didn’t exist."

"Emma, don’t seek blame. Pain makes people act in unexpected ways. On one side, we had a mother who killed her own daughter in a psychotic break, and on the other, a father suffering the possible loss of his wife, with the disillusionment of trying to build a family alone. Neither of them acted correctly, but in that moment, they were out of their minds. However, some choices can no longer be easily undone, and it’s up to fate to put everything in place at the right time."

Her expression becomes apathetic, tears form as she tries to contain her emotions, placing her hand on her chest.

"Do you know how many times I’ve told God I would have preferred to go in my daughter’s place? A million times, and imagining that she could be alive, so close to me, is shocking and, at the same time, electrifying."

"Emma, I need to be honest with you." She freezes but listens attentively.

"We don’t want Clayre to know. I know that might be a selfish choice, but since she was little, she dreamed of having her mother’s love, and in the end, she was abandoned as a baby. I was engaged to her supposed mother..." The woman’s eyes widen.

"Everything got worse. Her mother said horrible things, and she’s very sensitive. We’ll tell her, but I think if we find a donor and your son is compatible, she’ll be stronger to face whatever comes."

"Oh, my God. Did she suffer a lot? How could this woman have accepted to stay with my daughter and then abandoned her? This is absurd."

"Some women aren’t meant to be mothers, Emma. Others think they aren’t and learn, and some dream of being. Unfortunately, narcissistic people can also have children and remain the same."

"I hope one day she can love me."

"All she ever wanted was her mother’s love. It’s impossible for her not to love you. With time, everything will be okay!"

"How will we make it so I can see her?"

"I don’t know!"