31: Elise (ii)

31: Elise (ii)
What Charis did to me still felt like a nightmare. If not for the bruises that hadn't completely faded yet and scars from scratches her nails had left on my skin, there were moments it still felt so unreal. 
But there was also the small, bald patch on my head where the bottle had hit me. I could feel the new scar where the stitches had been. That was all too real, too.
And that night on the beach before Tootsie was stabbed... I shivered. The sick feeling of unease every time I imagined the butcher watching me and Gian while we were being intimate on the beach, violating my safe space in the worst possible way, was as strong as the first time I thought about it.
So, yes, the bodyguard was welcome. Ten bodyguards were welcome.
I didn't know how long it would take before I would ever feel completely safe again.

“Are we in, like, a shopping marathon today? Or is this therapy?” Alia asked while counting the shopping bags lined up at the baggage counter. She joined Jason and me at the mall after work and was stunned when she saw us and the bags.
I took more bags from Jason and added them to the counter, then smiled sweetly at the person behind it while I reined in my guilt. I went crazy over my shopping, it was true. “Thank you!” I then turned and walked the other direction while the cousins flanked me.
“Hey. Aren’t we going to eat first?” Jason complained. “I’m hungry.”
“Okay,” I replied, then gasped when I checked my watch. I shopped for four hours?! I grabbed his arm and asked sweetly. “Sorry, cousin. Where do you want to eat?”
“At the nearest table where food is served,” he answered, relieved.
“Where are we going later?” Alia, on my other side, asked.
“The salon.”
She actually blanched. “Hey. I understand you’ve been through something really painful, but going to a salon after a breakup is bad news.”
“It’s just going to be a trim,” I said, frowning at her. Gian, my boyfriend, would kill me if I cut my hair short.
My boyfriend.
Would kill me.
But he’s still my boyfriend so I guess my world was still a semblance of my original dream, which was that ‘Giancarlo Verrazzano is now Elise’s boyfriend.’ 
Meanwhile, Alia had indirectly referred to my Ex but I didn’t even mind. 
Gian and I would see each other at the office tomorrow. So I needed to be at a salon today. I had to follow the most logical progression until we meet again.
Because I was nervous as fuck.
What if he’s changed his mind? What if he hasn’t but I eventually disappoint him in the end? What the fuck do I know about being a girlfriend, let alone being Giancarlo Verrazzano’s girlfriend? My first boyfriend has been an absentee boyfriend. I don’t have a clue about what I’m doing! 
“We’re going to the salon,” I said more firmly, allowing that my bestfriend still didn’t know the development of my relationship with my gorgeous mentor so she wouldn’t understand.
And I would be telling her. Later. 
“Aren’t we eating first?” Jason protested after Alia elbowed him.
I really felt guilty that he’s hungry and I wasn’t taking care of him but I also really wanted to sit on that salon chair and change something about myself. Of course, it would be something tangible, a cover for the feelings I couldn’t shake off and compensation for losing control over events that I could do nothing about.
The hair was what it would be. 
There was something about the hair. And Jason didn’t need me there to eat. I wasn’t going to spoon-feed him, right?
“You go ahead. You order. I’ll catch up,” I said, changing direction.
“Oh no,” Alia said. “I better go with her.”
“But I’m hungry!” Jason complained.
“Then you eat and follow us. Check our GPS. I won’t leave her side, I swear.”
Jason sighed, then followed us. “I’ll walk with you to the salon, then I’ll eat at the nearest table serving food nearby.”
I hugged his side this time. “You’re so sweet!”
We went with him to the restaurant so he could order first. He would go with us to the salon then would leave us there in time for his order to arrive at his table.
EMILE
I was sitting at another table in the restaurant, watching them, particularly staring at the smaller of the two women. 
She was exquisite—heart-shaped, delicate face, long lashes, and wide, sleepy eyes. I’d never seen someone that beautiful. Someone alive, that was.
She had such an uncanny resemblance to Trina that tremors ran under my skin.
Not physically, exactly. But the way her eyes moved, the activity of the expressions on her face, the way even her full, soft-looking lips showed whatever she felt. 
Her smile was one of the loveliest I’d ever witnessed, sweet and rather innocent than Trina could ever manage. There were moments of contemplation, and her lower lip would jut out just a little bit, and I’d want to ravish and suck that lip until she was clinging to me, rubbing her naked body against mine, moaning with the need for more of me. 
Or I’d bite on it hard, so she would cry and fight while her pussy convulsed around my cock. 
I couldn’t hear her from here, but her face was a wonderful show on itself that I also needed to hear her voice. I couldn’t help the desire I feel to find out what she was saying, what she was thinking, what made her suddenly frown. 
Why were those lips, right now, pouting so charmingly? I wanted to taste the lusciousness of her emotions on those lips.
No wonder Giancarlo’s so besotted. I can fall in love with her so easily. So, so easily.
I smiled.
But I also felt genuinely sad.
Trina was his queen. It took a long time before I found someone who could possibly replace her. So many options, but always falling short.
But this one… Oh, this one.
He ground his teeth.
Why was it that Giancarlo always get to find her first?

ELISE
I looked up from the tablet where I was choosing what to watch that night when I heard a knock on my bedroom door.
“Yes?”
The door opened, and Alia peeked in. “I’m going to work. Are you sure you’ll be fine here alone?”
I cringed at the look she was giving me. “I’m really sorry. I promise I’ll be fine. I’m not going to do anything drastic anymore. I swear.”
She didn’t seem convinced. “Don’t you dare say it. Just do it. Should I have Jason come over to keep you company?” Jason was still staying in the apartment until some last-minute fixes were done, though his unit here was ready for him, too, and he had halfway moved his things over. “Please, if you go out, wait for me to get home. No more malling for now, and don’t you dare touch an, sharp objcts especially scissors.”
“It’s night, and I don’t know of any midnight mall.” She glared. I laughed. She’s always over-the-top but her concern right now was justified. “Okay, okay. Scoot. You’ll be late for work!” She stood there still, suspicious. “Thank you for saving my hair!” I exclaimed. “Okay? I will be eternally grateful.”
She pouted, then rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Just don’t go out without me for like a whole year. Got it?”
“I don’t plan to go out,” I said most sincerely. “I’m about to marathon a ton of K-dramas to catch up with you.” While in Puerto Galera, I caught up on reading business books assigned to me on Kindle because all the physical books I had of them were here in Manila. I got left behind on our daily ritual of after-work (me) before-work (her) drama-binge.
“Good. Just… stay put.”
“I will.”
After another long sigh, she closed my door. Her footsteps faded away, front door opened and closed. I settled back on the pillows.
Alia saved my hair. It would have been much shorter had she not objected and countered my decision. She conspired with the hairdresser to convince me what a shame it was to cut that much from my hair.
After we left the salon, my hair was trimmed about a foot below my shoulders when it used to reach my lower back. But it was still more than I would have allowed if I was in a normal state of mind. I didn’t know what came over me, really. I felt restless because I knew Gian was nearby but I had to wait for tomorrow morning to see him and find out if we were still on. 
But whose fault was that? I imposed the two-week no-contact rule. Now, I was suffering.
I was about to watch a Korean drama about a CEO who was a controlling snob and his secretary who was a sweet little thing. I realized it was a tad close to my situation. 
I turned off the TV and ended up reading a high fantasy book by Brandon Sanderson where romance was a subplot and life made more sense. It lulled me to sleep.