24: Elise (ii)

24: Elise (ii)
Any minute now, he’s going to burst into laughter, I thought. Of course, he would never take what I did and said last night seriously because I was dead drunk even if, in my heart, everything I confessed about my feelings were dead true.  
But he didn't laugh. He kept watching my face. And as the seconds ticked by, my heartbeat went faster. I was so nervous I raised my mug to drink, forgetting how hot it was.
“Aww!”
He quickly came to my rescue—no surprise there. He immediately took the mug from my hand and placed it on the table next to his while my fingers gingerly patted my scorched lips. "Are you okay?"
Ahh... the timbre of his voice. It tickled me, like a gentle touch on the surface of my skin sending electrical currents down my spine. My whole body was suddenly buzzing—and he wasn't even touching me. I felt it settle at the back of my neck and I tried to suppress the shivers. My God!
But the pads of his fingers were then gently touching my cheek, softly gliding down my jaw, and I couldn't help but close my eyes. "G-Gian..." I whispered, barely able to catch my breath. He was definitely doing something. I might be naive, but I wasn’t stupid.
What was he doing? Was he about to start something between us? Or was I mistaken? Imagining something I wanted so much to happen. Was this the hangover? I was scared now to open my eyes.
"Actually, I lied," I heard him say in a soft baritone.
I let out a sigh of relief and opened my eyes. "About which part?"
"About you wanting to kiss me last night."
"Oh. Okay," I nervously replied. "I knew it."
"It was actually I who had wanted to kiss you."
His face was now so close to mine, so handsome with his gleaming eyes and clenched jaw. He was standing very close, and I couldn't remember exactly when that happened. Even though we were often standing side by side, he never crowded me. He never stood this close unless I got into trouble and needed help. Like when I was being beaten up by his ex, you know? Or when I was being bullied by an elitist matron. Then he would carry me all over the place. Because that's how he saw me—a baby sister.
But did he just say he wanted to kiss me? Or had I fainted and dreaming at this point? I did feel lightheaded right now.
"Elise?"
"Huh?"
"Did you hear that?"
"Hear w-what?"
He let out a sigh. "You're sober now, right? Can you repeat what you said last night? I want to make sure I understand it very clearly before I kiss you."
"But I was so drunk. I... what? Wait, what are you doing?" He was breathing deeply, as if he was trying to calm himself. And more importantly, he was pulling me towards him for a hug, his arms securing me inside them. 
"What I’m doing? I’ve been pretending."
Ahh... don't ask the question. Don't! "Pretending that…?" I asked, almost in a whisper.
"That I only see you as a sister. I really don’t."
“Oh. My. God,” I whispered. “I’m still asleep. I must be dreaming.” 
He laughed softly, watching my face, a wistful smile on his. It was as if he was saying goodbye to something behind us. Dare I hope…? “You’re so cute. Does this really feel like you’re dreaming?” He took my hands and brought them around his neck. We remained watching each other. He wasn't stepping back. His hand on my arm moved down to my waist, and he gently caressed it. So now it wasn't just a buzz anymore. My whole body was on fire at this point. There was no mistaking now what he meant with his words. "What are you waiting for, then?" I asked in a hushed voice.
"I'm thinking there will be no going back from this,” he replied, his face contemplative. It was then that I saw the amount of worry his eyes carried in their depths. 
Of course! Before he could do anything, he would double-check and cross-check several times. I had said something last night, so now he had to acknowledge it. That’s what he would do—make sure there would be no issues between us since our families expected we would work well and not cause trouble for them. This was an accountability check.
And I got it. No way was I going to make this difficult for him. It was enough that he admitted he didn’t really see me as a sister. I could live with that. I was actually in seventh heaven right now. I felt validated.
I tried to step back before I did anything to jeopardize us—like latch onto him and do my way with him. He wanted to be a gentleman and I was never a truant. But his hand held onto my arm, preventing me. 
"Where do you think you're going?" he asked.
I raised my eyes to him. "You know what, Gian? I get it. I’m fine, okay? I swear I am. I know you’re thinking about our families. About my mother.”
“Kissing your mother. You want your Tatay to beat me up?”
“No!” I snorted. “I mean you’re thinking about what they’re going to say.” I wanted to choke him. All this waiting. I could understand, okay? He wanted everything to be proper. Okay? It meant we weren’t happening right now. But I could wait. “Will you please move?” I asked frustratedly. I got it, but it didn’t mean it was easy.