Chapter 59 Strangers
Mariko's POV
I stepped into Bella's bedroom and she wasn't awake yet. I sighed as I walked over to the side of her bed and I leaned forward to give her a kiss on the top of her head. I wanted my girl to open her eyes. But she wouldn't.
"Please, wake up soon, I will be here," I said softly, as I stroked her hair. I placed one more kiss against her forehead before standing up straight.
The heaviness in my heart was back, a weight that I am carrying which doesn't seem like it wants to leave. I know that it will leave once Bella wakes up. In the meantime, I can check up on Amber and let her mother know that she is awake. I have to contact Bradley too. I know that their relationship isn't on good terms, but at least he is trying.
I left Bella's hospital room and entered Amber's room. Her eyes were closed again, I sat down beside the bed and I took her hand in mine again. "You look like crap," I looked up at her, her gaze was on me. That put a smile on my face.
"You made me look like crap," I replied. She winced as she attempted the laugh, wheezing as she breathed. "Take it easy."
"Then don't make me laugh," she said.
"Fair enough, how are you feeling?"
"I feel as if a bus drove over me." she looked ahead of her, she had a scratch mark on her face, "Is Bella okay?" she asked as she turned her gaze to me again.
"She is stable but she hasn't woken up yet," I looked at our joined hands.
"I won't forgive myself if anything happens to her," her voice broke.
I looked up at her. "This is not your fault, you were in a car accident. You only wanted to spend time with her as you should. Please, don't blame yourself," I said.
"Bella was in the back seat, she was singing a song, and I loved hearing her sing. The traffic light was green and I kept on driving. Next thing I know, we were rolling and I blacked out after the crash. I'm sorry that Bella was in the car. I would prefer that it was me and not her. I should've just spent time with her at your place," a lone tear ran down her cheek.
Tears stung the back of my eyes, my heart aching again. I breathed just to remain strong. "Like I said, it wasn't your fault. Focus on getting better. Bella would want to see you when you are both fine," I replied.
"I'm trying, Mariko. My body is aching."
"I know, but focus on recovering," I said. "I have to call your mother and Bradley."
"Bradley hates me, he was at the house the other day and he yelled at me for all that I had said in the arguments that we had when we were married. I didn't know that it would have such a damaging effect on him. I always thought that when we argued at night that he wouldn't hear me, and he was asleep. No matter how much I didn't want kids, I still love him and the hurt that I have caused him is something that I never wanted him to feel in a million years. I see what that can do to others and I just didn't want that to happen to him or Bella. I would rather let them feel love and be happy than to remember the hurt that I have caused. I never wanted this to happen to him. If he goes to therapy, then maybe he will feel better. I know that he plans on going to London. He also added that you were always there for him even when he behaved like an ass."
"He was...he was pretty much damaged by circumstances and not feeling wanted. It resulted in him having anger issues. I love both of our kids and I try to be the best parent to them. I don't want to see them hurt and I always want to be the parent that they can come to for anything. I was raised in a loving home and my parents were my inspiration to have what they had and to also bestow my love and affection onto our kids. I want them to feel that love and I do think that I am doing a pretty good job at being a good father. There are parents out there that don't care at all about their kids, who have abandoned them. They are parents that work tirelessly to provide and to take care of them. You have loving parents that love you and you think that they have abandoned you as you were ending high school at the time of your life because they wanted to travel, but they still love you," I said.
"Yeah. Well, they still lived in London for years, only coming back home when they wanted to and they left the house for me. I guess that has been my example of being a mother. Abandoning our kids to have fun. I always wanted fun, Mariko. But we have two kids and that is what it is. I just hope that they do not walk off the right path that you are keeping them on. You are the definition of a good father, and you love with everything that you have and you will do anything for the ones that you love. Your heart is huge. I don't regret being with you because you are great, but I wanted things to be different, I wanted to be free and I have that now."
"Everyone makes mistakes, and I also make mistakes. I do wish that things had been different in how you felt, but I can't do anything about that. In the meantime, get some rest. I need to call your mother." I said as I let go of her hand.
"Thank you," she said softly as she closed her eyes and I stood up, taking the phone out of my jeans pocket. I walked out of the hospital room.
I stood in the hallway and called Margaret, "How are they?" she asked. She was really worried about them and I don't blame her.
"Amber is awake and Bella is still unconscious," I tried not to let my voice break when it came to Bella.
"I will be right there," she said, and I hung up.
I needed Bella to wake up. I don't know what I would do if...I would not think that way. I have to be strong for her. Maddie said that she was a little fighter and I have to believe that. I have to believe that she will open her eyes and I can hear her call me daddy again. I miss that. I miss holding her. I wiped the tears away that started to run down my cheeks.
I walked all the way to Bella's room and I stood at the window. She was not awake yet. I felt negative all over again, my heart sunk. I just couldn't hold it together and I sobbed, I didn't care who saw me but she was my whole life lying in that hospital bed. She needs to wake up.
Maddie's POV
I wanted to go back to the hospital but I also needed to see if my mother was okay. I haven't gotten any texts from her and I hope that she is okay. Despite seeing my father, I don't know what hold he still has over her, but I had to see for myself because he is an attractive man and that might leave my mother vulnerable, especially if he is not interested in her.
After lunch with Arden and Miranda, I went to my mother's apartment instead. I enjoyed lunch with Miranda and Arden despite the circumstances. I loved the fact that they are willing to spend time with me and get to know me. I always thought that being the only child was lonely, but having siblings brought more meaning to my life.
I got to the apartment, and as I wanted to open the door, it was already open. I found my mother sitting on the sofa and she was smoking and as I looked at the coffee table there was white powder. " Mom, what is going on?" I asked, a mixture of anger and fear crept up.
"I'm enjoying myself," she said, and put the cigarette out on an ash tray.
"This isn't you, mom. What happened to make you do this?" I nearly f^cking broke down upon seeing this. My mother was not herself, she looked different. "Why?" I asked as I stood in front of the coffee table.
"Your father doesn't want me...so I went to the drug dealers the other day and I cannot imagine my world without him, this is the second time and I couldn't take it, baby girl," she said. She had to be kidding me.
I ran my hand through my hair. "Please, stop doing this," I said as I moved closer to the table and I hunched over, clearing the white powder.
"No! What the f^ck are you doing?!" she yelled at me, shoving me away from the table and I wiped the powder that was on my hand, onto my t-shirt. "I can't believe you did this," she seethed.
"Mom, you need help and my father isn't worth being around if he doesn't want you," I said, my heart was breaking. I rounded the coffee table and stood beside her, "Let's get you in the shower okay?" I reached out to her but she shoved me again until I managed to get my grasp on her. "Mom," I said as I tried to hold her gaze but she wouldn't. "You will feel better after a shower," she let out a sigh and I led her to the bathroom.
Once in the bathroom, I instructed her to get undressed. My mother was a real mess, her hair was even messy. I can't believe that she resorted to this. My father is not at fault for not wanting to be with a woman that he doesn't want. What had she been triggered by the past?
I opened the faucet in the shower and let the water run. My mother got inside of the shower. I looked at my ring that was shining, I forgot about it...that I was engaged. I walked out of the bathroom and into the lounge, thinking about the proposal that didn't go as Mariko had planned and that put a smile on my face. I started to clean the table and then there was a knock on the door and I went to open it.
Once I opened the door, this guy was big and had tattoos all over him, he pushed the door further open, the door didn't even have a peephole. "Where is that b^tch? She owes me."
"Please leave," I demanded.
He opened a pocket knife and came closer to me as another man brushed past him and laughed. "Or what? So be a good girl and listen to me," I held up my hands in surrender. I was calm but deep down I was panicking. "That is a nice ring that you have on. Perhaps that can cover the cost that she owes me."
I was grabbed from behind by the second man and before I could even make a sound, he covered my mouth with his hand and he held a knife to me. This knife was held against my belly. I panicked, my breathing was fast and so was my heart. I had the urge to pee in my pants with fear. I couldn't do anything. The main guy studied my face and he moved closer, he felt my pockets and I squirmed, closing my eyes. He checked my jean pockets, taking my phone out and smashing it on the floor. I could hear it shatter.
I opened my eyes again, my chest heaved as I tried to scream, but I couldn't. The man grabbed my hand and he studied the diamond engagement ring. He held his knife towards my face. I couldn't do anything.
"Maybe she needs a good f^ck first," the man behind me said.
I hoped that they would not dare go that far. I didn't know what to do and I would not put my baby in any harm. The man in front of me took the ring off my finger and smiled. His teeth were gold, "That is more like it," he looked at me and it sent shivers down my spine, "Now, how about that f^ck?" he said. I closed my eyes.
I felt the tip of the knife move towards the bottom of my t-shirt and he moved it up, exposing my flat belly as the tip moved along the skin of my belly. I just couldn't...I couldn't have anything happen to my baby. I will just have to give them what they want...get it over and done with. I should have left my mother to deal with her own sh^t but I don't have that heart. What if this was what they would've done to her? Then I'm glad that it's me instead of her, but not at the cost of a little soul growing inside of me. My little baby.
As if it was a blessing...darkness consumed me.