Chapter 13 Controlling The Feelings
Maddie's POV
I was studying the whole weekend but it was difficult to focus when Mariko was on my mind. I was expecting a text or something from him but I knew that it would never happen. Yet, I was still hopeful. With my disappointment, I sat with my studies. My mother called me too, but it was mostly to do with what she was up to and nothing further about my father.
I was catching up with my work at my desk. I came in early to Sternpoint because I was excited about seeing Mariko. With all that had happened with Ash, my feelings for Mariko always won. I kept on looking towards the hallway as employees filed in and were chatting away. My heart skipped a beat when I saw Mariko walking down the hallway until he disappeared from sight without looking my way. He had a laptop bag slung over his shoulder and his navy blue suit looked so good on him, I could daydream about him in it the entire day.
I sighed as I looked at my empty coffee mug, along with the files that were stacked on my desk. Plenty to get done and so little time. I grabbed my coffee mug and went to the kitchen. I didn't feel like going to the cafeteria because I needed the distraction, and I would be alone.
As I entered the kitchen, there was no one like I had suspected. I placed my mug on the counter and switched on the coffee machine. "Good morning," I heard his voice and I turned around to face him. His expression was neutral.
"Good morning, how was your weekend?" I asked.
"It was fine," he smiled, he had his mug in his hand and that is when I noticed that he had a bandage wrapped around his hand as he placed his mug on the counter.
"What happened?" I asked as I reached for his hand. But he kept his hand out of my reach, his expression changing.
"Nothing bad," he said as he moved beside me and made himself coffee. He didn't have that warmth about him, but when asking about his hand, he didn't seem okay. I was still standing in my spot and trying to find the words to keep the conversation going, but was this about Friday? It could be anything. "Have a good day," he stated as he walked away without even looking at me. What just happened? Did Ash perhaps get to him?
With a deep breath, I made my coffee and then walked back out into the hallway. As I was getting close to my desk, I stopped in my tracks, gasping as I didn't want to spill anything, "I'm sorry. Are you okay?" I looked into light blue eyes. He is about my age and dressed in a black suit which looked good on him. He smiled at me.
"Yes, I'm okay." I returned his smile. I attempted to move past him but then he stopped me.
"Are you Lana's assistant, right?" he asked as I looked at him again. His hair was spiky at the top.
"Yes, I am."
"I noticed that she isn't in her office, and I'm wondering if Mariko Donovan is available because I'm sure that he has meetings too. He hasn't been returning my texts," he said.
"Do you work here or do you have an appointment with Lana and Mariko?" I asked as I furrowed my brows.
"I was just coming to say hi to Lana and I needed to see Mariko," he said.
"Well, Lana hasn't arrived yet and Mariko is probably busy in his office. I am not sure if there will be any meetings on his side as I am not his assistant. But if you want to make an appointment to see him, then you can make the appointment with me or I can try to call him for you," I said.
He smiled, "I would like to take you for coffee sometime, I mean...for nearly spilling your coffee."
"That won't be necessary," I smiled politely, but his eyes were mesmerizing.
"I insist, there is nothing more to it though, just coffee," he insisted.
"Maybe next time," I continued to smile at him to be polite.
"Next time then. I will continue to show up until we have coffee," he said.
I chuckled, "Well, I can do coffee when I have a break or this morning. I'm sure that this coffee is getting cold, but don't make this a habit and nothing more than coffee," I warned him.
"Nothing more than coffee," his smile widened.
"Bradley, please don't bother the assistants. I am available," I heard his voice behind me and when I turned around, Mariko stood there. He was looking at the young man.
"I was just asking her to have coffee with me because I nearly bumped into her and spilled her coffee."
"Is that so?" Mariko looked between the two of us with his brows furrowed but not in a serious manner. "She deserves coffee. Take her out after our meeting," Mariko said, "Shall we?" he gestured down the hallway towards his office.
"See you soon," Bradley smiled at me before walking in step with Mariko, but my eyes were on Mariko because I was drawn to him. I feel as if there are things in the way of Mariko and I, but I guess there are and if I want something more with a man, then I need to take that leap. But would Mariko take that leap with me if it had to come to that?
Is he willing to move on from his ex-wife to be with me? I don't know everything that is going on between them, but it is driving me crazy that I am putting up these walls that are dying to crumble and let Mariko in, but he has them too. Is that why he is so hesitant? I want to know more about him, but when will the right time be if we have to be in each other's presence alone? Most of these are for work purposes. There is another function coming up for Sternpoint and, hopefully, I will be accompanying him again.
Mariko's POV
When I arrived at Sternpoint and walked down the hallway, I was trying to avoid Maddie. I needed to be in the right frame of mind because I was consumed with thoughts about my daughter and I tried my best not to call Margaret every minute that I could. Bella is at Margaret's house and that is a safe place for her. I didn't want to text anyone since the bar, I simply wanted to be alone. I even avoided my own son, Bradley. He wanted to see me. After Maddie saw my hand that was bandaged, I felt as if she would pry and my situation would be known without saying a word. But I lied instead. I was eager to get away, but that is not me. I just need some time after what happened at home.
I must admit that I didn't like the fact that Bradley was talking to Maddie. I wanted her all to myself, but how could I do that? If she wants Bradley, who is her age of twenty-four, then I will respect that. But I know that she is mine because I feel that pull towards her. But I can't stop them if they want each other.
"Is everything okay?" I took a seat on my leather chair behind my desk and Bradley sat down across from me. He was studying business, following in my footsteps, and he is interning at a different company called Nexus Cosmetics. We have yet to bring them onboard too.
"I don't know, dad. What is going on between you and mom?" he asked and I hadn't quite prepared myself for this conversation as yet. I shifted in my chair as I gathered the courage to speak about it. He deserves to know.
"Your mom and I are getting a divorce."
"What?! Why?" he was shocked but yet upset.
"Your mom and I haven't been the perfect fit as a couple. We fell out of love and your mother wants to enjoy life. I will allow her to do that," I said. I didn't want to mention anything else.
"I guess that explained the arguments that you both had at night. Mom wanted to go out because she couldn't. It was because of me that she couldn't live her life, am I right?" he looked at me with his eyes glazing over. His Adam's apple moved as he swallowed. This was a knife to my heart as I didn't have the words to answer that because that is how it started and I didn't want any of my kids to feel that they were the reason for our marriage failing, but I cannot deny that reason. He had heard our arguments and I can't lie about that. "She is so unbelievable," he sagged against the back of the chair.
"I'm sorry. I wanted you when she told me that she was pregnant. I love you and your sister," I said.
"I know, dad. Mom was always trying to care for us and I knew I felt off with her, but the love came from you. I am here today because of you, but I still wish you would work it out with her. It is what I know. You were together most of the time and then you went to functions together. There was love. Is there no way for that to come back and you both can just have fun together? The main reason why I moved out of the house was because I thought that I was the problem which, according to mom, I am."
"Bradley, nothing can fix it. We are done. We do, however, have the last function to attend of Sternpoint together, but that will be it," I said.
"Just don't get someone young to date if you want to date again after mom. You need someone your own age this time," he said as he stood up and those words hit me like a ton of bricks falling down on me.
"I'm guessing that you are taking Maddie out for coffee now?" I asked and jealousy made itself known but I tried to play it cool.
"So that's her name," he smiled.
F^ck, I wish that I hadn't mention her name. "Do you like her?" I asked.
"It's still early to tell. I need to get to know her first. But she is beautiful and she seems nice," he said. I grabbed the pen that was on my desk and as I clenched my fist around it, I winced, dropping the pen because I had forgotten about my hand that Amber cut. "What happened to your hand?"
"Um, I injured myself," I lied as I looked at my hand.
"I will be asking Maddie for that coffee outing now, see you around," he said. and he walked out of my office.
I was not happy with my son going after Maddie. I can't tell him about her because Maddie and I are not dating and she might not want me. But it doesn't stop me from feeling jealous and all these kinds of feelings towards her. I just hope that she tells him the same as what she told me...that she doesn't date affluent men. He falls under that category.
What I don't mind is them being friends, but nothing more, because I know that my heart won't be able to take seeing them together when it could have been us. I need the divorce papers to get rolling and have my daughter. Maybe...just maybe I can make a move on Maddie, even though my fear of rejection outshines the positive. At least I will try when the time is right in my life. But then there can never be the right time if another man sweeps her off her feet and I have lost my chance at happiness with a woman that I feel strongly about. It is a chance that I cannot slip by.