The large sitting room suddenly felt too small to contain the five of us, six if you include David's PA, Robert, who was standing at the corner of where David had previously sat. I had gotten so accustomed to Robert that he was almost family.
But right now, I couldn't breathe.
Staring into his eyes, I searched desperately for it. Anything! A flicker of regret, uncertainty, perhaps the love I could always see so glaringly. Anything that would help me fan the flame of hope I was starting.
They were blank, empty, emotionless. It was like I was looking into a completely different pair of green eyes. This can't be my David.
Shaking my head, I took a step back. Then another and another, I was almost toppling over my own feet when I turned around.
In a flash, I grabbed my keys from the top of a statue where I had previously dropped them and dashed out.
My car had narrowly escaped getting bashed as I blew through the wide compound to the gate. The men at the gate scrambled to open the gate and get out of the way as I blared my way through.
I took a last look at the mansion through my rearview mirror and kept looking as it reduced in size just before I took a turn into the highway. It disappeared from my view making me let out a breath in relief. I wished more than anything that this was a dream, if it was then I desperately wanted to wake up.
Perhaps if I rammed my car into that truck, I would quickly be snapped out of the dream.
I shook my head bitterly, this was no dream.
It was real, all of it was real. If anything, I was sure the pain of my heartbreak was real. The breathlessness and anxiety that ripped through me were real.
I had no idea where I was going, or what direction I had been driving in for the past thirty minutes. Tears were streaming down my face, I considered taking a hand off the steering wheel to wipe it off then decided against it. I felt like a fucking joke so might as well look the part.
“I don't care what my parents think, I love you and I'm going to get married to you.” That was what he had said to me when I last confronted him with this topic.
It was the weekend before he asked me to marry him almost a year ago now, about 10 months. Now that I think about it, that was probably a forced response from him to stop me from asking those questions.
“What if your father cuts you out of the company for good because of that? What happens to your dreams, all the plans you have for yourself?” I had asked him as he drew circles with his fingers on my thigh. “I think it's better we convince your family to scrap the first daughter thing so they can approve of us.” I had ended cautiously.
I hated getting him angry.
“I don't care about them, Soph. All I care about is you, what matters is us. I'm getting married to you with or without their approval.” He swooped down for a kiss that had me melting into him.
I was hopelessly, foolishly in love. Tears clouded my vision by now.
Stupid! Stupid!! Stupid!!!
My whole body was shaking, I almost missed a sharp turn and quickly pulled the car to a quick stop.
“He told me that you even tried getting pregnant just to trap him in the relationship.” Audrey's voice rang in my head.
“What a conniving bitch!”
I laughed bitterly. When I learned I was pregnant, I had calculated the day I conceived.
5 months ago, I was selected as a representative from the Management to oversee the meeting we were to have with some clients flying in from Dubai the following day. I didn't want to spend the night at home while I cross-checked the presentation the team had put together and made sure I was on track.
So I booked a room at the hotel where the meeting was to be held.
David had come to my hotel room that night, drunk after a heated argument with his father concerning his dropping out of business school.
“What's the point? I'm going to take over the company from my father regardless of whether I finish school or not.” He would always yell whenever I tried to convince him to finish his last year.
In seconds, he had pushed me to the bed and attempted to undo my robe, but I held his hands to stop him.
“You're drunk David.”
“No I'm not baby, I'm just a little tipsy but I promise I'm in my right senses,” he said placing wet kisses along my neck.
We had sex without a condom that night.
When he found out I was pregnant, he has asked me over and over how it was possible.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck. How did this happen? We were careful, at least I know I was. Did you stop taking your birth control pills? You aren't supposed to get pregnant Sophia.” He kept pacing and muttering. I stayed mute, said nothing about the night he didn't use a condom, the night I got pregnant.
I should have known then. That's not how any man would react to hearing your fiance was a month pregnant. He should have been happy, a little surprised since it was unplanned but happy regardless. Sex was a norm in this age and time, nobody cares what you do, how you do it, who you do it with, and not even when or where you did it.
But for some reason, his very educated modern age parents were not going to be happy with my getting pregnant before we got married. “We can just make plans to get married sooner than we had said we would. That way, it wouldn't be a problem."
I kept my words in my head at that time, of course, I couldn't say it to him so he wouldn't get mad.
I let out a small laugh, how could I be so stupid?
“You're my sunlight, I love you now and forever. Until the sun doesn't shine…” he would say.
“And the moon doesn't come up before nine”, I'd always complete.
“Our love would never die”, we would echo together. He would kiss me and just like that, everything would be alright. All my worries would magically disappear.
Audrey was right. Delusional, that was just the word to describe me.
A loud honk broke me out of my thoughts. I pulled myself together and drove off the middle of the road, the driver blew past me, yelling profanities as she drove past.
I couldn't see her clearly but she looked effortlessly beautiful. I'm sure her fiance would not leave her for her sister.
Was that it? He didn't like the way I looked or dressed and preferred Audrey's appearance?
Audrey was always clad in mini skirts and dresses a size too small, she had on makeup for up to 15 hours each day whereas I was in a pair of slacks and a messy bun for up to 10 hours each day.
Tears sprung in my eyes when another memory flooded my head. I had caught his eyes trailing after Audrey one day when he came to the company I managed. She had just gotten her new black card registered and needed Daddy to sign it off as approved. She strutted across the glass tiles with her heels clinking at each step.
“Forgive my sister, I don't know why she always dresses like this. I'm so worried about her. Even when I keep saying it makes her look like she internationally wants to flash a part of her ass or boobs to the public, she just doesn't listen to me.”
“Oh, no. There's really nothing wrong with the way she dresses, whatever makes one comfortable I guess.” He shrugged in response, begrudgingly tearing his eyes away from her frame.
I was a bit taken aback but shrugged it off because like he said, wherever makes one comfortable.
I scoffed at the memory.
There were signs, I was just oblivious as shit so I couldn't see them.
I turned on the ignition just as my phone rang...