“You're one little charmer.” A deeper baritone shook me back to reality. I didn’t need to search for the source. It was right in front of me, Diego's lopsided smile seemed creepier than normal. “My brother has never smiled that widely or acted that awkward for over a decade.” He leaned over the counter, bringing his rather robust lips to my ear and whispered, “How do you do it?”
“Do what exactly, Diego?” I wanted to shriek but the words knew better so they came out calmer and smooth. Rigorously, I shifted in my seat, does he have to always be like this? Scary and intimidating?
“I'm not trying to degrade you with my words or shame you for catching my brother's eye. I just want to know what you actually see in him, you know?” He arched a brow but I watched his eyes dart around with uncertainty and I knew he wasn't entirely sincere. Also the worst person at hiding it.
“Do you think I'm trying to play your brother, huh? Make him love me and boom! Send his heart flying into different pieces around the room or bring the media to your doorstep?” I questioned with a deep frown etched on my face. Diego looked shaken, thrown bare and quite defeated.
“I'm not a whore. I'm not what the media paints me as. I don't care if they're watching my every move and checking for every piece of evidence that I'm telling lies. I was hurt, my heart was shattered. I gave David everything a woman could give a man…” I raised up my fingers to count. “Loyalty, love, care, homeliness, sex, defense… Shit! I showed him with every fiber of my being that I love him and I'm ready to fight and wait with him until his family decides to let him marry me.” I shook my head, bitterly.
“What a silly goon I was.” I lamented as a few tears escaped their bank. I quickly wiped them off, knowing that a few days with Damien would not cover for the hurt I'd felt. A warm palm gripped my shoulder softly, then the second followed, squeezing and dropping as I leaned for the massage.
“I'm sorry for bringing it up. You're dealing with so much on your own and I think it's time you confide in somebody.” His words stymied more tears from escaping their bank but as we silently breathed with his calming massage, the tears returned just as calm as it was supposed to be.
I blinked severally to stop the downpour from clouding my vision as memories rolled through my mind and for the first time in years, I relaxed. My nerves stopped jotting at every sound neither did my head turn to check every movement nor did my heart beat faster at the sound of voices. I felt free, I felt happy and I felt like a child again.
So, I began talking …
“I feel like childhood is the most precious part of a person's life journey. It's not just about the freedom to dream or the expected reliance on everyone for protection, food, support but the inclusion of the fact that people carry their broken, scared, shy and unguided inner child everywhere and every day. So, it's paramount to society to protect children from every form of danger and harm so they grow into well-rounded adults.” I sniffled, turning my head to look him in the eyes. He looked interested but also moved.
“Everyone has had a share of pain. But the pain that stays with one the most is the failure of the society and their parents when they were kids or teens. They may go for therapy, get help through medicine and all but it stays with them. It molds their choices, career paths and comes into every decision they get to make even if they've healed. It's like a badge on their life and heart forever. Adults move on quickly but children do not and even after years of the incident, the child in these adults still pushes me into decisions without their active knowledge.” By now, I've turned back to my previous position. I heard him sniffle and then grip my shoulder tighter.
“You're right. You're right.” He began in a guttural tone caused by his fight with tears. “I've always been that insecure kid who my parents didn't want and other parents had their kids stay clear of. That's why I stuck to Damien like glue. I felt that everyone who came into my life wanted access to him so I shut that door so tight and stuck to being a cold-blooded bitchy guy.” His voice dropped into a whisper, “I guess I'm still that guy too, you know? Bruising and building up more walls. I'm getting better at living with autism. I'm one of the lucky few who get past it and live normal lives with only a few unnoticed after-effects.” He'd stopped the massage and came back to face me.
I stretched my arm across the table, taking his. “You don't need to be insecure. I'm not about to steal Damien's attention, love or care from you. It's just a contract, on paper.” I giggled when his eyes met my fingers and it was empty. “I don't even have a ring, see?” I carried on with my brow arched.
He sighed deeply and let his shoulders fall. “I've been anxious and stressed for nothing actually. He'd explained it to me previously but I didn't believe him. A man might not have romantic intentions but if a woman does, she'll make him fall for her.” He shrugged as our hands disengaged. “She might go as far as pinning a baby on him or doing everything he likes or destroying other women interested in him….”
“That sounds like what a desperate woman will do.” I shook my head, negatively. “I'm not that desperate. I've learned that instead of chasing the one who doesn't love you, prepare for the one who'd chase you. But you know, it's a two-way thing.” I adjusted my weight on the seat due to some discomfort from my butt. “A woman or man can chase someone and trap them and still lose to someone else because the love was forced but it can also happen that, the love will be fully reciprocated either because the chased person already had feelings but wanted signs from the other person or because they began to develop romantic feelings as the chase continued.”
“You're right. We can't always determine how these things go. But I'm of the opinion that love can never be forced or bought. It can be obtained, shared, passed down but never forced because force brings about fear and love doesn't have fear in it.”
We both stared at each other in silence. Just like Damien, he was very beautiful too and I loved his views too. Love isn't forced. Which one of us forced love between David and I? Oh no Sophia, you're back here again! Could it be that he tried to love me but couldn't? But I never forced him? It was from a mutual interest.
I can still remember the first time we met. I've been seeing him on TV doing press releases for his company and manning big projects and going for exquisite galas with models patched on his arm and slowly, my heart began melting with each video I watched, each time his face popped up on my screen as I scrolled Instagram, each time he took the media by surprise at the caliber of women he went on dates with or for galas.
Our first official meeting was at a gala. I was sure that he was not going to be there so I decided to attend. I'm not that girl that tries to force nature or coincidence. I was happy with just fantasizing about him and feeding Audrey with all my fan girl talks about him. She had said multiple times that he was a show-off and I should stop my drama but I refused.
Thinking about it now, I wonder who the show-off was and how I sensed anything between them. The mind can go blank and unsuspecting when love meets it tho…
“Sophia?!” I shuddered at the loudness of the voice. I looked up to meet a concerned look from the two cousins. My cheeks became hot and I came down from my seat, heading for the door.
How could I handle two Princes staring with such care at me?