Chapter 37 Becoming a murderer

Chapter 37 Becoming a murderer
KAITLYN

What?!

"No!" I rebel, my eyes widening.

"I won't kill anyone, I am not a murderer like you!" I snap, shifting away from him and the gun stretched towards me.

Nikolai frowns and straightens up when he realizes that I won't take the gun.

"You see that scumbag over there?" He says as he points at the third man.

"That scumbag raped a five-year-old girl last week and killed a woman heavy with a child. He is one of Giovanni's men," he says, and I huff in disgust, anger flooding in.

"The bastard over there with a bushy beard," he points at the first man.

"That bastard is a fugitive and a known criminal and killer."

"The psychopath over there burned a family alive in the downtown area where he once lived before joining a rival group, where he continued to commit crimes," he says as he points at the second man.

My fist clenches as I stare at the men, a new rage filling me. The pity that I felt for them in the beginning has disappeared.

"So, do you think these bastards deserve a second chance?" He mutters.

I draw close and stare up at him.

"No, they don't, but neither do you," I reply.

He scoffs loudly and shrugs again, gulping down the remaining vodka in one of the glasses.

"That is why I am giving you the gun to give them the punishment they deserve," he says and stretches out the gun again.

I stare at the gun for a moment, then at his face.

"Why? You want me to become a murderer like you?" I huff loudly and shake my head.

"I can't do it, I will not kill them," I reply.

He sighs, disappointment flashing across his grey eyes.

"You are so weak," he spits out.

"No, I'm not!" I snap back in reply.

"Yes, you are," he snaps back, and my heart drops.

"Take it right now!" He growls.

I step back and shake my head, my eyes wide as saucers in horror.

He huffs loudly and nods his head.

"Alright then..." He whistles as he pulls out his phone.

"Sir, please, have mercy—"

The sound of an ear-piercing gunshot bursts through the air, and a dreadful scream escapes from me.

My heart stops for a second, and my feet begin to tremble.

“Look up!” he growls, and I slowly die.

He grips my arm and forces me to look up. One of the men has a hole in his chest and blood forming around his pale feet.

He has killed someone else in front of me! The other men look terrified as fuck as they stare at their dead partner.

“You still don't want to do it? It's simple, just pull the trigger,” he says, pointing his hand at the trigger.

“No! I won’t!” I snap, and his brows raise.

He huffs loudly and shoves his phone to my face.

I stare at the photo displayed on the screen of his phone, and my jaws drop.

I reach to grab the phone, but he snatches his hand away, smirking.

“You either kill them or Jesse dies,” he mutters, and my heartbeat slows.

“Don't touch him, please,” I mutter, almost breaking into tears.

A photo of Jesse coming out of his father’s company and a masked man with a gun behind him has caused my heart to shatter.

He stretches the gun towards me, nodding his head forward.

“Take it,” he mutters.

I slowly reach for the gun and pick it up with my trembling hand.

As the men break into bitter cries, tears drop from my eyes. The weapon in my hand feels like a live venomous snake in my hand.

Why does he want to turn me into a monster? What if I kill him instead?

I look up at them, my vision blurry from the tears that fill my eyes.

“Promise you won't hurt Jesse,” I whisper.

“It's a deal, isn't it?” he asks.

I slowly raise the gun toward the men, their terrified screams hunting me and pricking my heart.

“Be on standby.”

My heart races when I hear him say that to someone over the phone. I'm sure he is talking to the man assigned to hurt Jesse.

“Don't hurt him!” I snap again, my eyes widening, and the tears finally drop.

He huffs and leans closer, his lips twitching in a sinister way. I flinch as he wipes the tears on my face with his cold thumb.

“You know I hate to see those tears on your doll face, huh?” he whispers.

I feel so tempted to pull the trigger on him, but I can't. My hands are fcking tied here.

“You are timed,” he says, and my throat knots.

I take a deep breath and raise the gun towards the men again, slamming my eyes shut while placing my stiff finger on the trigger.

The men’s screams and pleas increase, filling my ears and shattering my heart.

I am sorry that I have to do this. I really have no choice, lord, help me get the fuck out of this shit. I'm not ready to stain my hands with the blood of people I don't know.

“You have five minutes left to save Jesse,” his voice slips into my head, and I curse silently. I shift uncomfortably and mutter a short prayer of forgiveness before pulling the trigger. I jerk back as a bullet bursts out of the gun and a gunshot echoes in the room. The killing silence that follows the gunshot is killing me. I can't open my eyes. I am more than terrified to see the sin that I have committed.

Fuck! The men aren't speaking either. That means that I truly did it, I fucking killed someone!

I break into tears at the realization and drop to the ground, still keeping my eyes closed. The guilt that fills my body is enough to kill me silently.

“Open your eyes!” I shiver at his words.

“I can't,” I whisper in a quivering voice, still crying.

I hear him huff and suddenly feel his scent waft across my nostrils.

“You care so much to kill for that son of a bitch?” he mutters, and my heart clenches.

I want to curse at him for calling Jesse’s mother a bitch, but the guilt weighing down on me after the horrible thing I did won't let me.

“I guess taking you away from that bastard was the best revenge,” he chuckles.

He wraps his hand around my chin, and I quiver.

“Open your eyes or I will kill him,” he threatens, and my eyes fly open.

He chuckles and pats my head like I am his little pet.

“So, Jesse is your weakness, huh?” he mutters as he stands up.

I slowly twist my head towards the prisoners, and a large wave of relief gushes through me.

I sigh loudly and place my cold hand on my chest, my accelerated heartbeat slowing down.

“You thought you killed one of them?” he mutters, and I sigh and try to get up, but something clocks.

“Jesse! Is he alright? Is he alive?” I scream, my eyes widening.

He looks down at me, smirking.

“Who knows, you might hear it on the BBC,” he mutters, and my heart clenches. 

I jerk up and grip his shirt, screaming out as pain fills my body.

“What have you done to him? What have you done?” I scream, hitting my fist on his chest. I know that shit won't hurt him, but what can I do?

He chuckles, doing nothing and saying nothing.

Lord, I hope he is just playing with my feelings… I hope.

“Shhh,” he mutters and pulls out his ringing phone.

I let go of him and stagger back, my life swinging in a pendulum.

“It is done, sir,” a voice that burst through the speakers says.

He looks at me and smiles.

“Good job, she should have just stuck to the deal,” he mutters, and my life snaps.

This is the end, this is the freaking end.

I pick up the gun and place my finger on the trigger, then raise it towards him. His gaze lifts, and surprise darts across his eyes.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

I part my quivering lips and glare at him with so much hatred.

“Putting an end to everything, Nikolai Rider,” I mutter and do not think twice before pulling the trigger.