Chapter 169

I could hardly keep my mind on work the rest of the day, as you could imagine. I left at five on the dot and rushed home, took a shower, and consulted my resident fashionista, who was shockingly not watching gay porn.

“Is this a date with Jaiden? Because you need to dress to impress and put out.”

“What? No!” I replied. “I haven’t had sex in so long I might as well be a virgin. Dinner is more than enough for now, thank you very much.”

Anderson rolled his eyes. “You should always be prepared. Maybe you should watch some gay porn. Loosen you up a bit.” He winked and I groaned.

“No.” As usual, he ignored me and helped me pick out a pale pink shirt and gray slacks with a matching blazer. Then he went to the bathroom and brought back two condoms.

“You never know,” was all he said before shoving me out in the hallway with my wallet, keys, and cell phone. “Go get ‘em, Tiger,” he said. “Albert will be over later, so take your time coming home, or wear earplugs.” He grinned and shut the door in my face.

* * * *

The restaurant was elegant and luxurious. I told the hostess I was waiting for someone and she led me to a secluded corner with candles on the table. It was February 14th, after all. I thanked her and asked for sparkling water as I settled in to wait. And wait.

Three hours later, after sending numerous texts without getting a response, I gave up on the evening and ordered a salad and more water for myself. Was this some kind of joke? Jaiden hadn’t seemed to be the kind of person to do something like this, but then, what did I know? Apparently, I was a poor judge of character.

I left the restaurant and decided not to go home right away. I didn’t want to deal with Anderson and Albert going at it, or their sympathetic glances when the story came pouring out. Instead, I wandered the streets, taking in the sight of couples huddled together in the cold, some kissing, others holding hands.

I didn’t even seem to feel the snowflakes as they started to fall an hour later. I wasn’t dressed for the weather, but I was numb to my surroundings. Would I ever find someone who would take me as is, dork and all, and live happily ever after? I should get my head out of the clouds. Up there, in my dreams, everything was perfect. Down here, reality kicked my ass every single day. But at least I knew it was real.

When I finally got home, it was after midnight and I was shivering almost violently. The door to Anderson’s room was shut, and I couldn’t hear anything, so he and Albert were probably sleeping.

I opened the refrigerator and took out a bottle of Perrier. I carried the sparkling water to the wide window that gave a great view of the city—a city full of people with loved ones and secure in their happiness. When would I ever have that? I hoped I wouldn’t have to get cats when I turned forty. I was allergic.

I sat on the ledge, lost in thought, until my phone buzzed in my pocket. Frowning, especially since no one ever texted me so late at night, I looked at the screen and almost threw the phone across the room.

Jaiden: What dinner are you talking about and why the frantic texts?

Really? He was going to pretend like nothing happened?

Me: I got a card signed by you saying you wanted to have dinner tonight.

Ha! Let him try to worm his way out of that.

Jaiden: I didn’t send you a card, though I should have. I’ve been in Toronto for weeks and I won’t get back until March.

Oh. fuck. If he didn’t send it, then who…?

Shit, this had Heather written all over it, that vindictive little viper.

I went to the kitchen to grab the card off the counter and look at it more closely. Yes, that was herhandwriting. Goddamnit. I felt like such a dumbass as I texted Jaiden again.

Me: Never mind, I just figured it out. It was just some prank. Sorry to bother you.

Instead of sending a message, Jaiden called. “You’re not a bother. You never were. I wish I was there to prove it to you, but the day after my party I had to leave town for work, and it had to do with that project you worked on for me. Great job, by the way.”

I swallowed and decided to lay my cards on the table. “What’s there to prove? Heather was right about one thing. You are way out of my league, and whatever silly dreams might have been running through my head were just that. I don’t even know if I want to stay with the company. I’ve spent so much of my life there I don’t know who I am anymore, or what I want.” I sighed and rubbed my eyes with my free hand. “Sorry to dump this on you. I guess I’m tired. It’s long past my bedtime.”

He was silent for a minute before asking, “At which restaurant were we supposed to have had dinner?”

“Gino’s.” The memory of sitting there alone for hours still burned.