Chapter 9 Chapter 9
Valerie POV
As the days passed, I began to understand the truth. This was not love. This was hatred wearing a mask. Something dark lived inside Luciano, something I had never seen in anyone before. His questions never stopped. Where are you going? Who are you meeting? Why are you late? Every word felt like a chain tightening around my neck. I was not living anymore. I was being watched. Guarded. Trapped. My life had become a prison, and Luciano was the warden.
Regret burned inside me every second. I blamed myself for everything. For trusting him. For staying. For believing I could survive this. Some days, the anger grew so strong that I imagined killing him just to be free. Other days, I wanted something quieter. I wanted to disappear. No blood. No screams. Just silence. Just me vanishing like I was never here.
All I wanted was peace. Real peace. The kind that doesn’t hurt your chest or steal your sleep. I wanted to leave this chaos behind and return to the one thing that had always made me feel safe. My freedom. My life.
My father’s silence haunted me. After the last threat he made, I knew this calm meant danger. He was not the type to forget or forgive. When my father started a war, it never ended easily. It destroyed everything in its path. I knew I couldn’t wait anymore. Waiting had already cost me too much.
I reached for my phone with shaking hands. It was the only thing that still belonged to me. The only thing Luciano hadn’t taken away. It was my escape. My lifeline. I dialed my brother’s number, holding my breath as the phone rang.
No answer.
My heart sank. I tried again. Still nothing. Panic rose in my chest, sharp and fast. I whispered curses under my breath, my fingers trembling as I dialed again. Each unanswered call felt like another door slamming shut in my face.
“Please,” I whispered. “Pick up. Please.”
But my efforts were useless. The silence screamed louder than any words. Fear wrapped around my lungs, making it hard to breathe. What if something had already happened? What if I was too late?
Then I remembered Sam.
Sam was my closest friend. My safe place. The one person who knew everything and never judged me. If anyone would answer, it was him. He never ignored my calls. Not once.
I quickly dialed his number, my heart pounding so loud I could hear it in my ears. The phone rang once. Twice. Three times. Every second felt like torture.
“Come on,” I whispered, tears burning my eyes. “I need you.”
When the call finally connected, my knees almost gave out. Relief crashed over me so hard it hurt. I didn’t even speak at first. I just breathed, holding onto that sound like it was keeping me alive.
For the first time in days, I didn’t feel completely alone.
With trembling hands, I dialed his number again. My fingers felt weak, like they didn’t belong to me anymore. The phone rang once, twice, then went straight to voicemail. My chest tightened. This was bad. Very bad.
I knew my father had disowned me. I felt that pain every day. But Sam and my brother? They wouldn’t turn their backs on me so easily. Not this fast. They loved me. Or at least, I believed they did. Fear crept into my heart, cold and sharp, as doubt began to whisper ugly thoughts into my mind.
I refused to give up. Not yet, I quickly scrolled through my contacts and called Lauren. She was my last hope. I prayed silently as the phone rang, begging her not to abandon me too. One ring. Two. My heart pounded harder with every second.
Then I heard her voice.
“Valerie.”
Her voice cut through the silence like light breaking through darkness.
“Thank goodness, Lauren,” I cried. “You finally picked up.”
Relief washed over me so suddenly that my legs gave out. I collapsed onto the bed, gripping the phone tightly as I took a deep, shaky breath. For a moment, I couldn’t even speak. I was just breathing, trying to calm my racing heart.
“Where the hell have you been?” she yelled.
Her words hit me hard, but I didn’t interrupt. I could hear the fear behind her anger.
“Everyone has been worried sick about you,” she continued. “Valerie, your father has lost his mind. He’s threatening to kill anyone who still talks to you.”
My heart stopped.“And your mother…” she paused, then continued softly, “your mother had a heart attack.”
The phone almost slipped from my hand.
My chest burned as if someone had punched me. I couldn’t breathe. My vision blurred, and tears spilled down my cheeks. Guilt crushed me, heavy and unforgiving. This was my fault. All of it. My choices. My mistakes.
Lauren kept talking, her voice filled with frustration, fear, and pain. She didn’t give me space to speak, and honestly, I didn’t know what to say. What words could fix this? What words could undo the damage?
I ran my fingers through my hair slowly, trying to ground myself. My hands were shaking again. My head was spinning with thoughts I couldn’t control. My family was breaking apart, and I was the reason.
“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” I whispered, though I wasn’t sure she could hear me.
Finally, when she paused, I spoke.
“You know I can’t marry him, Lauren,” I muttered, my voice barely holding together.
There was silence on the other end.
“I tried,” I continued. “I really tried. But every day with him feels like I’m dying a little more. He controls me. Watch me. I don’t feel safe. I don’t feel free.”
My throat tightened as tears continued to fall.
“I can’t live like that,” I said. “I won’t.”
The truth felt heavy, but also real. For the first time, I said it out loud without fear. No matter what my father threatened. No matter what I lost.
I could not marry him, and deep down, I knew that choosing myself might cost me everything—but losing myself would cost even more.