⋆ Chapter 186

⋆ Chapter 186
One week later…
Tilly —

The road stretched endlessly ahead, blurred through the faint fog on the window. I sat in the back seat of the car, my head resting against the cool glass as the world outside rolled by. My eyes felt hot and puffy.
Cuts lined my cheeks; one sliced through the bridge of my nose, and another tugged at my bottom lip every time I moved it. A thick bandage still clung to my forehead, a reminder of just how close I’d come to losing everything.
I looked down at my wrist. The bracelet was still there. And the sight of it made my chest ache, but it wasn’t anger. It was just… too much.
Wanda sat next to me, her entire arm wrapped in bandages. Even in her disheveled state, she held herself like a fighter who’d walked away from hell on sheer will alone. A strip of white gauze ran diagonally across her forehead, streaked faintly pink where the wound underneath was still healing.
We hadn’t spoken much the whole drive. But now, she finally broke the silence.
“We’re almost there.” Her voice was rough but calm, almost too calm.
I didn’t answer. I just kept my eyes fixed on the blur of trees outside, watching them bend and sway in the morning wind.
I heard her exhale faintly before she added, “And… Rafael called me earlier. Said your friends—and your sister—have come.”
That made my head turn. I blinked at her, surprised. “They… they shouldn’t have come,” I said, my voice coming out hoarse and brittle.
Wanda tilted her head toward me, her uninjured hand resting in her lap as she studied me.
“Why not?” she asked softly.
I swallowed hard, fingers tightening against the edge of my seat as I glanced back out the window.
“Because this—” I waved faintly at the dark forest beyond the glass, “—this isn’t theirs to carry. It’s ugly here. People died because of me. They don’t… they shouldn’t have to see what I’ve done. What I am now.”
There was a moment of silence. Then she leaned back against the seat with a faint hiss, closing her eyes.
“Luna,” she said, “this is a very hard time for you. Anyone can see that. But you’re wrong if you think it’s something you have to carry alone.”
I shook my head, but she kept going.
“It’s not a weakness to let people you love stand with you. And it’s not a weakness to let the ones who love you show you that you’re still human under all this blood and pain. That you’re still you. And, trust me, Silver Moon Pack will love you.”
I laughed dryly, though it broke halfway through and sounded more like a sob.
“I doubt that, Wanda.”
Her eyes snapped open at that, and for the first time since the car ride began, there was heat behind her gaze.
“Some don’t, not yet,” she admitted. “But most of them… they’re just scared. Blinded. Alpha Loric and Julian twisted them into believing humans don’t belong in their world. You’ve already started proving them wrong, even if you can’t see it yet.”
She reached out her uninjured hand and rested it briefly on mine, just a light squeeze before she let go.
“You’re capable, Matilda. You’re worthy. And those who’ve stood by you so far? They’re proof enough that some of us already see it. Even if you don’t believe it yet. Let your sister remind you who you are. Let your friends help you through this, because no one gets through it alone—not even a Luna.”
I pressed my lips together to keep them from trembling.
And for the first time in what felt like days, I nodded faintly. Not because I fully believed her yet… but because maybe, just maybe, I wanted to.
I didn’t say anything for a long time after that. My eyes stayed fixed on the window again, though I wasn’t really seeing anything outside anymore. My own reflection in the glass was pale and drawn. My chest ached with a pressure that felt too big.
Deep inside, I wanted to cry—so much it hurt to keep it in. I wanted to scream until my throat gave out, throw something, break something, maybe even myself. I wanted to run, to disappear into the wilderness, to leave all of this behind because it was too much to carry.
I wanted to shift, to feel Tala take over so I could stop being me, if only for a little while. If she were in control, I wouldn’t have to feel the hollow pain in my heart, the heavy loss that clung to me like a second skin.
But Grimshaft Mire had been the first and last time. Since then… nothing.
Every night I tried. Every night, I felt the strain, the frustration, and the emptiness of trying to call her forward and feeling nothing in return. At first, I told myself it was just exhaustion, that it would come back when my body healed. But as the days dragged on, a darker thought crept in—that maybe it had been a fluke. That maybe whatever I’d done that night in the Mire had been born of some rare spark of desperation, a one-time thing.
Or maybe… maybe it would take another kind of pain to bring her out again. I didn’t know anymore.
I let out a long, shaky breath, then turned my head slightly to glance at Wanda.
“Are you excited?” I asked. “You’re finally going home.”
She tilted her head to look at me, the faintest glimmer of a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.
“Excited… and a little nervous,” she admitted. Her voice was steadier than mine, but not by much. “There are still plenty of people in the pack who bought into what Alpha Loric and Julian told them about us. They might be gone, but their lies aren’t. Not yet. And there are going to be some who won’t be happy to see us come back.”
I nodded faintly. My eyes dropped back to my wrist, the bracelet. “Well, since Rafael’s the new legit beta now… he’ll have to deal with them.”
Wanda let out a dry little huff that might have been a laugh if it weren’t so tired.
“And as our pack’s Luna,” she said, “you’ll have to deal with them too.”
I froze. Her words sat heavy between us for a moment.
I looked back up at her, my throat tightening, my chest twisting.
“I’m no Luna,” I said finally, almost spitting the words out. “And I… I haven’t even been able to shift since the Mire.”
Her gaze softened. She reached over, resting her bandaged hand gently over mine.
“Don’t worry,” she said. “You’ll have your training. You’ll find her again. And when you do… you’ll show them all exactly what kind of Luna you really are.”
I wanted to believe her so badly it hurt.
Before I could say anything else, the intercom above us crackled to life.
“We’ve arrived at Silver Moon Pack.”
The car slowed to a crawl, and my heart began to hammer in my chest.