Chapter 324
I stared straight ahead, "Because you've been avoiding me and you packed a bag of all my clothes..."
Zenon turned around and saw his gym bag was open and my sweater was on top. He said, "I packed a bag because I want to take you out of here."
I tilted my head. That didn't sound like a break-up to me.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"We're suspended," he answered, "We might as well leave until we can come back."
"We're suspended. That's a week of no school, staying at home with parents who hate each other and a drama that's consumed us," Zenon said, as if I needed a refresher on my life situation.
We were sitting in his car with heavy rain pounding on the roof and windows. Two minutes ago, I thought he was breaking up with me. Now, I realized he wanted to elope.
Just kidding
"I think we need a break," Zenon said and, when he saw my eyes widen at his last sentence, he quickly added, "Together. We need a break, together."
"Where would we even go?" I asked, hearing his optimism but living in reality, "When I said I don't have any money, I mean it. I have no money."
"You won't need it," he replied. "We can go to the lake house."
That sounded tempting; to escape into the wilderness, just the two of us.
But I had a nagging feeling that we were running away from our problems. I also know that we do need money and I really didn't have any. Nothing for gas, for food, for emergencies. It's a different mindset when there's no safety net and just a feeling of dependency. Spontaneity is expensive.
My original game plan was to ride out my suspension at home until my first tutoring gig with Lara. My mom was back so we at least had food in the house. And the moment I get paid for my first lesson, I'm going to splurge. That means three dozen coffees from the Bean.
I'm having withdrawal symptoms here
"I know it's not responsible," Zenon said, watching my reaction. He knew I was talking myself out of coming with him, "Let me take the blame for it."
"It's not that," I said, not caring about who took the blame.
Zenon wasn't joking. He's thought this through, and he wants us to leave. Did we really need a 'break together' or was there another reason he wanted us to get out of town?
"What about your parents?" I asked, knowing they wouldn't allow this.
"I'll ask for forgiveness, not permission."
I looked back at the gym bag with some of my clothes already packed. Were we really just going to run away?
So, I made my decision.
I said, "I won't go with you unless you do one thing."
He seemed surprised by that response. He glanced at me, "What is it?"
"Apologize to Kaden."
There was a long silence in the car.
"Are you serious?" he asked, almost sounding annoyed.
"Totally serious. You bullied another human being who, it turns out, was innocent. It will continue to affect us until you apologize," I insisted.
"I have apologized, Candace."
"You need to apologize to him," I said, "I'm sorry for asking this of you. I've tried to forget about it and see it from your perspective, but I can't just forgive it. You bullied him, you publicly humiliated him, and I know he sucks as a person, but he doesn't deserve to be treated like that," I paused as I reflected on my words, "You had good intentions but that doesn't excuse the actions."
I can't be with a bully. I just can't.
I know I sounded like a broken record, bringing the same subject up all the time, but I couldn't let it go. I thought I could. I tried to. But he doesn't get to walk away with this, just because of a few charming words and a sweet smile.
I explained, "You did what you did to him because of me and I... I can't live with that."
The silence between us got heavier. I wished I could see what he was thinking. I didn't want us to break up but, at the same time, I couldn't move forward like this. It's hypocritical of me, when I've been no saint either, but it is what it is. I love the boy too much to just turn away. So, all I can do is ask him. And either we move on together or we get stuck. I don't know what else to do.
I don't see a right way... at least, I don't see a right way that I want to take.
Zenon stared straight ahead, tapping his left hand against the top of the steering wheel. He looked annoyed, very annoyed. But he knew I was not joking around.
9 times out of 10, I behave like a clown. But this is that 1 time.
He exhaled, "Fine."
I didn't realize my hands were shaking until I opened my phone to pull up Kaden's number. I'm not used to serving ultimatums, especially to Zenon who hates being told what to do. I don't know what would've happened if he said no. I don't even want to think about it.
I handed him my phone.
Time can really slow down at the worst possible times. It speeds by in the best moments but now... this felt agonizingly slow. I hated the situation. The fact that I was making my boyfriend apologize to my twisted, terrible ex-boyfriend gave me chills. Zenon has only cared for me, where Kaden has not... but I guess this isn't about me. Or us. It's about principle.
I think.