91. Starting Over for Forever

I step outside the vehicle where I spent the day hiding in solitary reflection and just pace around the parking garage a little, until Gracen and Leah come down in black-tie attire, leading little Ben along with them. Ben drops his dad’s hand and sprints right up the second he sees me, throwing his arms around my neck. “Uncle Julian!”

I hold him close to my chest. “Hey, Ben. Sorry I… haven’t been around.”

“I wanted your help! I’m not ready,” he panics, clutching at my shirt.

“For tonight? Sure you are.”

“How would you know? You haven’t seen the full thing. I suck. I’m going to mess it all up and…”

“Ben, calm down. It doesn’t matter if it’s not perfect. Just try your best. I’m sure you’ll do fantastic.”

“That is what I keep telling him,” Leah states, ruffling his hair.

He seems all the more distressed at that, backing away with hands flying up to his head.

“You uh… You messed up his hair. Bad form, before a performance,” I fill in, and Ben gives an unhappy nod. “Here. I’ll fix it.” I smooth it back into place. “There. Looks awesome.”

“Really?” he sniffles.

“Really.”

“I do not get why he gets so upset about--”

“Gracen, shh.” Leah nudges him.

Ben was always a sensitive kid, and I guess I really do get him, even if I don’t always know what to say. We climb into the car and head down to Ben’s recital as one very untraditional yet somehow fully functional family unit.

Once he’s up there on stage and the performance commences, Ben freezes up. Then he looks to me and his parents, and he quickly finds his courage, giving a dramatic leap and joining the other sunflowers in their line. He does better than most of the other clumsy 5-8 year olds in his class – a grouping of entirely girls. Those girls are all crowding around and flirting with him the second the performance ends, and Leah gives Gracen another nudge, smiling with wicked innuendo. “How long do you think it will be before he has a little girlfriend?”

“If he takes after his father… maybe college?” Gracen mutters, and Leah starts to laugh.

I drift away from the couple and go to tell Ben what an amazing job he did. Ben hugs me all the tighter and asks if we can go for ice-cream now. I say he’ll have to ask his parents, so he sprints off to do just that.

I turn to follow him, and I finally catch sight of Luc, hovering right under the exit sign in far corner of the gym. Our eyes lock, and he slows his steps, delaying his departure with the rest of the crowd slowly trickling out those doors.

I start walking toward him, and his eyes glow with anticipation. The old Luc would have opened with some negging phrase of how it was stupid of me to play pretend with Leah’s family tonight, as if I could ever be a real part of their lives. This Luc just smiles and tells me, sincerely, “I can’t even express how relieved I am that you did not…”

I hold up my hand, and he quickly fall silent, searching my eyes. I don’t want to talk about my almost suicide. I don’t want to be guilted for making him worry. I want to move forward.

I hold out my hand. “Hi. I’m Julian, Leah’s friend.”

He cocks his head, but plays along with a knowing grin. “I’m Luc, the insanely ravishing. Most everyone knows me.”

“Nice to meet you. I think…” I swallow. “I’ve forgotten where we met before. So do you wanna just… start again?”

His eyes light up. “Sounds marvelous. This gymnasium is far too stuffy and crawling with children however, so let’s just… Take a walk?”

I text Leah I won’t be coming for ice-cream. She shoots me and Luc a knowing look from across the room and replies with a supportive thumbs up.

I walk with Luc around a deserted soccer field outside the gym and pretend like I know nothing about him, asking what he thinks about simple, suburban life.

“Atrociously dull. I’m more of an urbanite, packed clubs and strobe lights, that kind of thing.”

“Me too, usually. Though I need… a break, every once in a while.”

“Sounds reasonable. You are downright stunning, with an impeccable sense of style,” I give a little grin. “It has to be exhausting being swarmed by mobs of admirers most every time you set foot on such a dance floor.”

“It is. I’d still like to take you dancing though.”

“Oh? Ever heard of Club Noctus?”

“I love it. But first… You ever been sailing?”

We head down the marina, and we rent a one-man sailboat. They’re closed at this time of night, but Luc makes one call, and it is suddenly fully legal for us to pilfer one and take it out into the deep sea.

“You’re a man with real connections, huh?”

“Entire city is in my pocket, yes. You find that intimidating?”

I shrug. “Just… makes me wonder why you’re wasting your time with me.”

He puts a hand to my cheek, lifting my chin. “I spend my time exactly how I want to, Jules. There is nowhere I would rather be right now, and that is not just a line.”

I blush. “I know. I actually… I believe you.”

We head out onto the water. I’ve never taken him out sailing before. We drop the act of being strangers, but we don’t bring up the past. We just sit there staring up at the stars for a time, as I start tracing made-up constellations with my finger, and Luc makes up stories to accompany the designs.

We’re back in bed together by the end of the week. He puts the ring back on my finger, the one he picked up off that bedroom floor and has kept hung around his neck this entire time we were separated. I accept it gladly.

I spend a few weeks obsessively painting – first that bridge where I came so close to watching the sunrise, and then the starlit waters of the ocean from our little sailing date. I conclude my streak of newfound inspiration by painting Luc another portrait where he’s framed against that inky sea with the wind billowing through his hair and shirt. He hangs it right in the reception hall, right across from the first I ever presented him with, and even before the eyes of the older members of his coven, he treats me as he never has before – as his equal and true love.

How long will it last? I don’t have an estimate. I’m not thinking of time frames, not of the past and not of the future. It is Luc and I together, in the present. That is all I am focusing on, but I know in my freshly recovering soul… This is going to be forever.

**The End.**