72. When First I Fell For Jules
Did Julian already tell you how we met? I'm sure he did, but did he adequately explain the instant chemistry? I am of course captivating. I dazzle most everyone, and Julian has a face that would make Michelangelo weep that he could never sculpt an adequate comparison, but our connection? It went so much deeper than the physical, at least for me, because…
Shit. I said I would be honest here. I wasn’t actually drawn to his beautiful soul. No, the problem with that blushing, squeamish eighteen year old… I looked at him, and I saw myself, not my current evolved state, but my vulnerable, fragile human self.
It took me decades to realize that, the reason I was treating him so very preferentially from our very first encounters.
I remember so much detail from those nights, even after thirty years. I remember every minute of his repeated returns to my nightclub – his every expression and my every, strong response to it.
I’ve been criticizing Julian repeatedly for bringing up the past and focusing on only the bad parts, the hurt and abuse… But after our last conversation, after seeing him in such a deranged state of suffering and finally exiling him from my side, exactly like he wanted… Now the worst of our past is all I can think about too – every detail of our first encounters and my every, egregious mistake with him.
The true, unhealthy attachment started the night Roman’s bastard son first tried to steal and exploit him. Julian was just an intended snack to me before that night, an entirely shallow craving. Seeing him drugged in the hands of someone like Michael though… I was instantly enraged, and it wasn’t jealousy that sparked such righteous fury. It wasn’t just a flex of my authority to step in and put Michael in his place. It was about protecting Jules, regardless of the trouble that would invite.
After all, Michael’s father, my powerful and most sadistic sire, was going to hear that I took away his son’s meal and sent my fellow immortal and ‘cousin’ bleeding to the ground, yet I was willing to risk the reprisal to preserve Julian’s virtue. This child was no longer some near stranger in that minute. He was instantly *my* Jules. The name came instinctively to my lips the second I had him safe in my arms. I give all my favorites affectionate, private nicknames, but they are carefully selected and strategized beforehand, to appeal to their delusions and hopes while simultaneously picking at their insecurities. There’s no surer way to keep a sex slave as long as you want them than gas-lighting. With Julian though… It wasn’t a plan at all. There was no real thought behind the selected short-form. I thought in fact that it would sound meaningless and repetitive to him, but as it turns out… No one had ever called him that before, no one before me. The way it made him blush… It was such a very kissable expression.
But we could hardly properly kiss when he was out of his mind on aphrodisiacs, already passing out from blood loss. I carted him off down the hallway in tender bridal carry and laid him down in my bed.
He came back to semi-consciousness, and the way he groped at and pleaded with me, clutching at my hand when I tried to pull away… It was off-putting, unnatural and desperate. I insisted that’s the only reason I didn’t take him up on his delirious offer, work some lube up inside that virgin crack and use him in whatever way I felt like.
He wouldn’t have even remembered it if I did. I let my coven think and gossip whatever they wanted, but I did in fact just leave him lying alone on my bed all that night, watching him toss and turn in fascinating, sweat stained throes of causeless passion. He would open his eyes and stare at me occasionally… and I would want to race right over there and oblige his every, blush-implied craving. I held back of course, with the insistence it was beneath me. I would have him only when he was fully himself, sober and begging me for it.
His fitful rest turned to deep, uninterrupted sleep, no less fascinating to watch. It had been so long since I’d done this – studied a human in peaceful repose. I always left once the gratifying part of climax and sanguis consumed was done. But with Julian… Even after his dick relaxed from that straining tent against the sheets, even after those lovely eyes had fluttered shut and stayed shut for a solid ten hours, I found I simply could not stop staring at him, drinking in every detail as I did when assessing great works of art.
When he finally did awake, fully himself, he was entirely dismayed and confused about the events of the night prior. He was still blushing and feverish though, shooting me those constant, lingering glances... I wanted to fuck him even more. It would have been easy. He would have agreed to it easily, but I reminded myself sternly that this was just a child…
He wasn’t anymore. He went out of his way to inform me of that, the minute he woke up. A full adult, he had come here willingly to seek me out…
But he was still a child, and I knew it. I saw something I didn’t even recognize at the time. What I’ve already admitted – myself. I was falling in love with a memory of myself, but it was more about that potent, protective instinct.
I was also little more than a child when Roman took me, and I thought I knew what I wanted. I went after him, after all. I went after that status. I worked hard to achieve it. I took everything Roman offered. I simply wasn’t prepared for how… How I was not in fact at all prepared for it, not any of the physical or emotional toll.
I knew Jules wasn’t ready, but that overwhelming need to shelter him… It gave way quickly to appetite. I'm a vampire. We fuck and we feed. We don’t raise children. We only educate those committing to our service in how best to pleasure their new master, and I gave my Jules such a very detailed, and graphic education.