Chapter 33

A P R I L

1:13am

Me: I want to fuck.

Shane: Lily, are you drunk?

Me: Maybe. Girl’s night!

Me: But they’re gone and I want my Daddy’s cock.

Shane: Where are you?

Me: The Silver Spoon.

Shane: Give me fifteen minutes.

Shane: Do not leave with anyone.

Me: I only want to leave with you.

2:01 am

Me: I am so mad at you.

Shane: You won’t be tomorrow. Me: You turned me down!

Shane: You’re drunk, baby girl.

Shane: You’d regret fucking me.

Me: You’re an asshole.

Shane: Guess I’ll have to live with that.

10:26 am

Me: I’m sorry.

Shane: How are you feeling?

Me: Like I’m dying.

Me: I’m never drinking again. Me: I shouldn’t have text you.

Shane: You can always call me for a ride.

Shane: I’d rather you be safe.

Me: Thanks. For everything. Shane: Any time, Lily.

M A Y

3: 52pm

Me: I saw you today.

Shane: Oh?

Me: Yeah, pulling out of the store parking lot.

Shane: Sorry I missed you.

Me: Me too.

Me: I do.

Me: Miss you.

Shane: I miss you, too.

Me: I just need more time.

Shane: Take as long as you need.

Me: You keep saying that, but you won’t wait forever. Shane: Let me worry about that.

J U N E

I don’t know how it happens. One day, I’m still struggling to stay afloat, the pressure easing a little with each week that passes. The next I wake up determined to start living again. I hate that it took me six months to work through this, but every time I felt like the ground might be steadying under my feet, something would happen.

So I keep my head down and focus entirely on work until the end of the school year. And then summer vacation starts and I feel… Okay. Better than okay. Almost like myself again.

I miss Shane so much, it’s like I actually carved out my heart that weekend and left it behind in his house. No matter how much an asshole I act, he’s been a goddamn saint since. Never pushing me. Never trying to play dirty. Just patient and understanding and I am so done with all my bullshit.

It’s time to move forward. I finally feel ready.

The fact that it’s an unseasonal blistering hot June day only seems to spur me on. Like I’ve been standing still for so long, treading water, and now I’m ready to sprint.

There’s only one direction for me to sprint to: Shane.

If he’ll still have me.

I pick up my phone and flick through to my secret folder where I keep the videos from that weekend. I’ve watched them more times than I care to admit. Bringing myself to orgasm at the sight of his fingers in my pussy or me riding his mouth, riding his cock. My hands are nowhere near as good as the real thing.

He said to send the videos when I’m finally ready to move forward.

My thumb hovers over the button to do it, but I hesitate. Is it too late? Have I lingered too long? Nervous energy has me texting him instead.

Me: It’s wicked hot today.

He responds almost immediately.

Shane: I was actually thinking of getting the pool ready to go.

Just like that, an idea forms. A filthy, perfect idea.

Me: You should. Gotta maximize every hot summer day.

Shane: Agreed.

Me: Are you still going home for lunch?

Shane: Sometimes. Why?

Me: Just wondering.

Me: I have to go. I’ll catch up with you soon.

Shane: Okay. Have a good day.

I check the clock. It’s mid-morning, which means I don’t have much time. I take a shower and get ready, throwing on a pair of shorts and a tank top and filling a tote bag with the things I’ll need. It’s not until I’m driving to Shane’s that my nerves ramp up.

If he doesn’t want me anymore, I’m setting myself up for one hell of a humiliating experience.

I find the spare key exactly where it’s always been, tucked under a fake rock near the front door, and let myself in. Even though I know better, I drift through the house. I’m not exactly looking for evidence that he’s moved on, but I still exhale in relief when I find things exactly as they were the last time I was here.

It’s game time.

I strip and pull on the white wrap cover-up that I bought a month ago because it made me think of Shane. The cut almost looks Grecian, narrow swathes of fabric draping from my shoulders over my breasts and crisscrossing at my hips to form a tiny little skirt. It’s cute with my swimsuit on under it. It’s dirty as hell without.

I take a deep breath and walk out into the backyard. The cover is still on the pool, but he’s got the lounge chairs out like I hoped. Shane likes to read in the evenings out here as soon as the weather’s nice, so I bet he brought them out of storage the second the temperature edged to barely tolerable.

I drape myself over the lounge chair in the shade and take a deep breath. Here we go. I lift my phone, position it over my face in a selfie angle, and push record. “Hi Shane. I might have done a little breaking and entering to get into your backyard, but is it really breaking and entering if I know where the spare key is?”

I’m talking too fast, my words tumbling over themselves, but I can’t seem to stop. “I didn’t expect to be this nervous, but here we are.” I nibble my bottom lip. “I know you said to send those videos when I was ready, but I don’t want to live in the past. I want a future.” I give a small smile. “So I’m making you a new video.”

I drag my finger down my neck, carefully following it with the camera, to cup my left breast. The white fabric is almost see-through. “I bought this just for you.” I tug it to the side, baring my breast, and let my fingers linger on my nipple. “I hope you like it.”

It’s harder to get this angle right. I have to sit up a bit as I pull up the wrap to show him my pussy. “Oops. No panties. I know how much you hate that.” I part my pussy and drag my middle finger up my center. “I’ve missed you, Daddy. I can’t wait for you to fill me up again.” I shift the camera back to my face, but I don’t stop touching myself. “Want to come home and have me for lunch?” I blow him a kiss and end the video.

I almost chicken out before sending it. But I’ve come too far to back out now.

My phone rings sixty seconds later.

Shane.

I’m shaking as I answer. “Hello?”

“Baby girl.” He sounds quiet and almost furious. “Are you fingering yourself in my backyard right now?”

Just like that, my nerves disappear. He wouldn’t call me that if he wasn’t one hundred percent in on this. I recline against the lounge chair and go back to leisurely stroking my clit. “Yes, Daddy.”

“Spoiled.” He moves to wedge himself between my thighs. “Needy.” He exhales against my clit. “Demanding.”

I stare down my body as he parts my pussy. Behind him, I see movement in a window on the other side of the fence. “Your neighbors are watching,” I whisper.

“That’s what you want, isn’t it, baby girl? You’re naked in my backyard, tits on full display, your pussy practically weeping for me. You want them to look.” He inhales slowly.

“Is it that bastard Richard?”

I have to struggle not to lift my hips, not to close that last little bit of distance between us. “Yes.” I don’t raise my voice. “He’s standing in his window.”

“Probably wishing he was in my position right now, about to taste your pretty pussy.” He urges my thighs wider. “You’re going to put on a show for him, aren’t you, baby girl? Let him know exactly how good your Daddy makes you feel.”