Chapter Sixty-One

Demetria

Demetria let the warm water rain down on her back, her face pressed into Kerry’s chest as she sobbed. She cried because of Alpha Davers. She cried for the pack and Axel. She cried because she felt guilty.

Though deep down, she felt so much relief that it came out in tears.

She’d held it in for so long. The pain. The agony. Now they spilled from her like a broken damn. It was finished—mostly. She still had to make a decision about Ivory and Dom, and free Sabrina’s spirit from her tortured life inside a bird. What had Ike been thinking?

Kerry smoothed his palms down her back.

He didn’t ask questions about her tears or even try to cheer her up, he just held her. She appreciated it. She needed silence and comfort.

They stood there under the waterfall until it turned cold. Demetria hardly noticed.

Finally, Kerry picked her up and carried her to his room, where he carefully dried her hair and helped her into some sweats and a t-shirt.

“I need to go check on everyone, and see what I can do about Ivory—” she started.

“No,” Kerry said, shaking his head. He dried his hair with a towel while staring at Demetria. “Ivory and Dom are going to be sucked back to the other realm at sunrise. You need to rest. You need to lie down and forget about this—”

“Forget about this?” she asked, her voice growing louder. “How can I forget that I killed your alpha?”

“You didn’t kill my alpha. This was not your fault, baby. He died defending us. He died doing what an alpha does.”

Demetria closed her eyes and wasn’t shocked when no tears came. She’d cried them all out in the shower. “It is my fault.”

Kerry bent down by where she sat on the bed and palmed her thighs. “You cannot blame all of this on yourself.”

“Poor Axel. He’s so young, Kerry. He was going to finish college...”

“This was the alpha’s last fight, Demetria. He told me yesterday. He'd planned to let Axel take over. Axel was going to take over, either way. I hate that Alpha Davers died. I absolutely hate it, but when you take on the position of alpha, you take on that responsibly. When you join a pack and agree to fight, you take on the chance of death. It’s a warrior’s death, love. There are other wolves who didn’t make it. It hurts but it’s life.”

Demetria covered her face with her hands and tried to gather herself. This wasn’t her first time feeling pain or loss. When her sister died she thought she would die right along with her. Then seeing Claire’s face afterward.

When she realized what she’d agreed to give Ike all those years ago, she felt a loss of her future, of the future she could have had if she hadn’t agreed to accept his help. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry for all of this. I’m sure you wish you never met me.”

Kerry chuckled humorlessly and stood up to look at her. “Demetria, I was lost before I found you. I laughed and joked to keep up a façade that was exhausting—finding my second chance felt like God gave me another shot at life. He gave me a reason to live. We were mated for many reasons we’ll never know, but I do know one was because you needed an army to beat Ike. If you hadn’t had our pack, you would have failed, and we both know it.”

Demetria knew that, and part of her guilt stemmed from knowing it. She slowly stood up and wiped her face. “I need coffee.”

“You need to sleep,” he said.

Demetria looked at the bed. “I’m afraid to close my eyes.”

Kerry traced her mark with his fingertip. “Why?”

“I’m afraid of what I’ll see when I close them. I’m afraid this guilt will manifest into nightmares.”

Kerry swallowed, walked over to the bed, and lay down. He opened his arms. “Come lie on me. If you start to have a nightmare, I’ll wake you up. You sleep as long as you need. If you want them to go back to the other realm, we’ll let it be, otherwise, I’ll text Cynthia and let her know what to do. Sabrina has been a bird for however long, another night won’t matter.”

Tiredness slammed into her body. She knew she needed to sleep. Maybe Kerry was right. His arms might protect her from falling into a nightmare that would haunt her. “Tell Cynthia to send Ivory down with Ike and let Dom go back. They forced him to do everything. He doesn’t deserve that.”

She climbed into the bed with him and rested her head on his chest. She listened to the sound of his heartbeat until her eyes fluttered closed, and she fell into darkness.

She’d been wrong. No nightmares haunted her, only a pitch-black universe that allowed her to rest.

****

Demetria felt warm when she woke up. Kerry kept his promise, he was still underneath her when she stirred awake.

The evening sun hit the blinds, and she pushed up from Kerry and looked at the clock. It was 1:00 the next day. “Why didn’t you wake me?” she asked.

Kerry chuckled. “You needed the rest.”

She sighed and swung her legs over the bed. “I need coffee. Have the others reached out to you?”

Kerry stood up and stretched his arms above his head. “Dan texted me this morning to see if we were up, and to tell us that Cynthia did as you asked. They're taken care of."

Demetria had never wished someone dead, but she was glad Ivory was nowhere near her, and that Dom could possibly live out his eternity without his evil siblings.

She walked into the living room and found Claire asleep on the couch. “Claire?” she asked softly.

Claire sat up and rubbed at her eyes. “Hey,” she said. “You’re awake.”

Demetria walked into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. “Why are you here? Where is Axel?”

Claire frowned. “He needed to go on a run. Ya know.”

The knife in Demetria’s stomach twisted, dragging her guts around. “I’m sorry, Claire.”

Claire walked over toward her. “It’s not your fault, Aunt D.”

So they kept telling her. She took a sip out of her mug and caught a glimpse of the sunlight coming from the guest room. Cynthia’s room.

She walked over with her mug in her hand and kicked the door open with her foot. The bird was awake, staring at her with those beady eyes. “Hey, Sabrina,” Demetria said softly. “We have one hell of a busy day ahead of us.”