Lost Without You
Rory POV
The door creaked open, a shadow spilling in, and Leo stumbled back, his breath fast, his hands shaky. My heart slammed far away my legs weak as I walked the dark streets, not there to see it. That voice on his phone low and mean echoed in my head, and my chest buzzed scared, mad knowing trouble found him again. My hands shook in my pockets cold, empty and I kept moving fast, far my throat tight, tears dry but burning.
I ended up at a bar loud, smoky neon buzzing over sticky floors. My chest hurt hollow, heavy and I sat, my hands trembling on a beer I didn’t drink. Leo’s face stuck pale, wet, breaking and my stomach twisted guilt, want hating him, missing him. A guy slid close tall, blond, smirking his hand brushing my arm, his voice low. “You look lost,” he said, and my throat burned empty, numb.
“Yeah,” I mumbled voice flat my eyes on the bottle, not him. My heart raced dumb, restless and I nodded when he asked me back to his place quick, easy my legs moving before my head caught up. My chest buzzed cold, blank telling myself I needed this, needed to stop thinking about him.
His apartment stunk weed, sweat lights dim, bed messy. My hands shook bad, cold peeling my shirt off slow, my breath fast. He grabbed me rough, eager his lips on my neck, his hands tugging my jeans down. My stomach flipped sick, wrong and I pushed back hard, fast my body moving, my head screaming no. “C’mon,” he said voice thick pressing me to the wall, his hips grinding in.
I gasped loud, shaky my hands on his shoulders shoving, pulling and he thrust quick, hard my breath hitching fast. My chest burned empty, numb and I shut my eyes tight, dark trying to feel something, anything but him. “Leo,” I moaned soft, broken his name slipping out raw, real and my heart stopped my legs weak shame crashing hard.
“What?” the guy said sharp, confused pulling back fast, his hands dropping. My eyes snapped open wet, wide and my stomach sank cold, sick knowing I messed up. “Leo?” he asked voice hard stepping away, his face twisting. My chest heaved my throat tight and I bolted fast, clumsy grabbing my shirt, my jeans half-on, my sneakers loud on the floor.
“Sorry,” I muttered voice cracking yanking the door open, my hands shaky running out, my breath fast. My chest buzzed ashamed, lost and I stumbled into the night cold, dark my legs moving quick hating myself, hating him more. I need to stop thinking about him, I thought hard, loud but his name stuck burning my throat consuming me worse.
Miles away, Leo sat alone, quiet his room dark, the bed empty. My jacket old, worn lay on the floor, forgotten when I stormed out, and he grabbed it slow, shaky his hands trembling bad. My chest ached far, hollow feeling him without knowing, and he pulled it close tight, desperate pressing it to his face, breathing deep. My scent faint, fading hit him soap, sweat, me and his throat burned tears falling fast wet on the fabric.
“Rory,” he whispered voice breaking his hands clutching hard, his breath hitching loud. My heart twisted somewhere else missing him, and he slid a hand down slow, shaky unbuttoning his jeans, needing me close. My chest buzzed far, raw and he gripped himself tight, fast moaning soft my name spilling out wet, broken tears soaking the jacket.
He moved quick, messy his breath fast my scent filling him, breaking him more. My stomach flipped far away not knowing, and he groaned loud, shaky his hand pumping hard, desperate tears dripping steady. “Rory,” he sobbed voice cracking his chest heaving wild, lost and he came fast, trembling his moans mixing with cries wet, raw spilling over my jacket, soaking it through.
He slumped panting, shaking his hands limp clutching my jacket still tears slowing, his eyes red and sore. My chest echoed hollow, cold and he curled up small, quiet the bed big and empty my side untouched, my warmth gone. His breath hitched soft, sad and he grabbed his phone shaky, slow his thumb hovering over my name wanting, stopping his throat tight guilt swallowing him whole.
Back on the street, my legs gave out weak, shaky and I sank to the curb cold, hard my hands in my hair pulling tight. My chest burned ashamed, empty and I hugged my knees quiet, small tears slipping free hot, fast. I’m over him, I thought hard, dumb trying to believe it, knowing I didn’t. My throat burned Leo’s name stuck and my phone stayed dark silent, cold no word from him, no pull back.
Days blurred me ghosting calls, dodging bars my head loud, my chest heavy isolating slow. My hands shook dealing cards at home alone, quiet thinking of him, hating it. Tina texted once, twice “You okay?” and I didn’t answer my fingers cold shutting her out, shutting everyone. My stomach twisted empty, lost and I wondered soft, scared if he was breaking too.
Leo spiraled dark, deep his phone buzzing Frankie’s name flashing mean, loud. My chest buzzed far away not knowing, and he stared still, cold his hands shaky wanting to call me, wanting to run. Nothing left, he thought quiet, hard and stood slow, stiff grabbing his keys reckless, dumb my jacket still in his hands wet, mine. My heart raced somewhere else feeling it creep, fearing it worse.
That guy blond, smirky called me voice soft, weird “You weren’t there, man” and I hung up fast, shaky my chest tight knowing he saw it, knowing I wasn’t. My throat burned my legs restless and I walked quick, far my head spinning Leo’s name loud pushing me down, pulling me back.
Then a light flashed sharp, red down the street. My heart jumped my breath fast and I stopped cold, still watching it blink slow, close cutting the dark. My chest squeezed tight, raw and my hands shook bad, hard my eyes wide scanning shadows tall, moving near my building, near me. My stomach flipped fear crashing and I stepped back quiet, scared my throat dry watching a car roll slow windows dark engine low too close.
“Rory?” a voice called soft, rough behind me, and my heart stopped my legs shaky spinning fast my chest buzzing wild, lost. My eyes locked dark, blurry on a shape close, tall stepping out face hidden shadow stretching long. My breath hitched my hands cold and I froze still, trembling watching them move quick, sharp something glinting metal, mean in their hand cutting the night, cutting me open.