What Do You Want ?

What Do You Want ?
Chapter 62
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Elena

The cold of the bathroom tiles seeped through my clothes, but it was nothing compared to the ice that had settled in my chest. Temporarily reassigned. The words echoed, each one a hammer blow to what was left of my spirit. Elara’s smug face flashed behind my eyes. The elders' stern, disapproving stares. Kael’s silence. His awful, betraying silence.

I dragged myself up, avoiding my reflection in the mirror. I couldn’t look at the failure staring back at me. I didn’t go back to mine and Kael’s room. That wasn’t my room anymore. It was his. It smelled of him, of us, and right now that smell was a torture.

I was so lost in my own misery I didn’t hear the door creak open.

Kael stood there, his hand still on the doorknob. He’d come to… he didn’t even know what. To explain? To justify his silence in that room? The Alpha in him said it was the right decision for pack stability.

He took a half-step into the room, the floorboard creaking under his weight.

I gasped, scrambling to sit up, hastily wiping my tear-streaked face with the back of my hand. Humiliation burned through me, hot and fresh. He couldn’t see me like this.

We stared at each other across the dim room. His face was shadowed, but I could see the hard line of his jaw had softened. His eyes weren't cold anymore. They were… pained. Conflicted.

For a long moment, neither of us spoke. The air was thick with everything unsaid.

“What do you want?” I finally asked, my voice hoarse from crying.

He didn’t answer. He just looked at me, really looked at me, and I saw his throat work as he swallowed hard. He looked like he was the one who’d been punched.

“Elena…” he began, his voice rough, but he seemed to have no words to follow it.

He took another step forward, then stopped, as if he wasn't sure he was allowed to come closer.

I saw it then. The first real crack in his armor. The slightest glimpse of the man underneath the Alpha. The man who loved me.

But the hurt was too fresh, too deep. I couldn’t handle his confusion. Not when mine was swallowing me whole.

“Just go,” I whispered, pulling the throw blanket tighter around my shoulders like a shield. “Please, Kael. Just leave me alone.”

He flinched as if I’d slapped him. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. He gave a slow, almost imperceptible nod.

He turned and walked out, closing the door softly behind him. The click of the latch was quieter than a whisper, but it sounded final.

I waited until his footsteps faded down the hall. Then I let out the breath I was holding and lay back down, curling into myself again.