Chapter 83 Good Session
Chapter 83 Good Session
The waiting room felt colder than usual.
Amelia sat curled in the corner chair, her school blazer still on, her fingers twisting the ribbon in her hair. Ryan had walked her to the building like he promised, giving her a small squeeze on the shoulder before heading off. Her dad would pick her up afterward. Everything was arranged. Everything was safe.
So why did her stomach feel like it was full of fluttering wings?
The receptionist called her name gently. “Amelia? You can go in now.”
She stood, smoothing the pleats of her skirt, and walked down the familiar hallway. Dr. Hart’s office door was open, warm light spilling out. Dr. Hart looked up from her notebook with a soft smile.
“Hi, Amelia. Come in.”
Amelia stepped inside and sat on the couch, tucking her hands under her thighs to keep them from shaking. Dr. Hart settled into her chair across from her, legs crossed, posture relaxed.
“You’ve had quite a week,” she said gently. “How are you feeling today?”
Amelia let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. “Different.”
“Different how?”
She hesitated, searching for the right words. “Quieter.”
Dr. Hart nodded, encouraging her to continue.
Amelia swallowed. “I… had a breakdown. On Friday. A really bad one.”
“I’m glad you’re telling me,” Dr. Hart said softly. “What happened?”
Amelia stared at her hands. “Lola. She wouldn’t stop. She kept yelling at me, and I tried to ignore her like you said, but it just made her angrier. And then I just… snapped. I screamed back at her. I’ve never done that before.”
Her voice wavered, but she kept going.
“It was like something inside me broke open. I yelled and yelled until I couldn’t breathe. My dad found me on the floor. I scared him.”
Dr. Hart’s expression softened. “That must have been overwhelming.”
“It was,” Amelia whispered. “But then… something changed.”
She lifted her eyes, meeting Dr. Hart’s gaze.
“Since that night, I haven’t seen her much. Or heard her. It’s like she’s… fading. Or hiding. I don’t know.”
Dr. Hart leaned forward slightly. “How does that feel?”
Amelia let out a shaky laugh. “Weird. Really weird. The silence used to feel like something was waiting to jump out at me. But now it feels… different.”
“Different how?”
She took a breath. “It doesn’t feel oppressive anymore. It feels… freeing.”
Dr. Hart smiled gently. “That’s a big shift.”
Amelia nodded. “I know. And people have noticed. My dad said I look lighter. Ryan said I seem more like myself. Even my teachers looked surprised when I talked in class.”
“You talked in class?” Dr. Hart asked, her tone warm.
“Yeah,” Amelia said, cheeks warming. “Twice. And I worked with someone in science without freaking out. And I didn’t feel like I was going to disappear when people looked at me.”
“That sounds like progress.”
“It feels like progress,” Amelia admitted. “Like I’m… starting to find my own voice.”
She paused, then added quietly, “A voice that isn’t hers.”
Dr. Hart let the silence settle for a moment, giving Amelia space to breathe. “Tell me more about that. What does your own voice sound like?”
Amelia thought about it. Really thought.
“It’s softer,” she said slowly. “Not as loud as Lola. Not as sharp. But it’s there. When I answer questions in class. When I talk to Ryan. When I tell myself I can do something instead of assuming I’ll fail.”
She touched her chest lightly. “It feels like it comes from here. Not from fear.”
Dr. Hart nodded. “That’s a powerful realization.”
Amelia’s throat tightened. “I didn’t think I had one. A voice, I mean. I thought Lola was the only one.”
“And now?”
“Now I think… maybe she was just the loudest one.”
Dr. Hart smiled. “And you’re learning to turn her volume down.”
Amelia let out a breathy laugh. “Yeah. I guess I am.”
Another pause. A gentle one.
“Do you miss her?” Dr. Hart asked softly.
Amelia’s eyes widened. “No. I mean—” She stopped, thinking. “I don’t miss what she said. Or how she made me feel. But the silence is… strange. I’ve lived with her for so long that not hearing her feels like losing something, even if it was hurting me.”
“That makes sense,” Dr. Hart said. “Even harmful patterns can feel familiar. And losing familiarity can feel unsettling.”
Amelia nodded slowly. “Yeah. That’s exactly it.”
“But you’re not alone in the silence,” Dr. Hart added. “You’re filling it with your own voice. Your own choices. Your own presence.”
Amelia swallowed hard. “I want that. I want to keep doing that.”
“You are doing it,” Dr. Hart said. “Every day this week, you’ve taken steps toward yourself.”
Amelia blinked rapidly, her eyes stinging. “It doesn’t feel like enough.”
“It doesn’t have to be enough,” Dr. Hart said gently. “It just has to be real.”
Amelia let that sink in.
Real.
Her voice.
Her choices.
Her quiet.
She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “I’m scared she’ll come back.”
“She might,” Dr. Hart said honestly. “But if she does, you’ll be stronger than the last time. You’ve already proven that.”
Amelia nodded, her breath steadying. “I think I believe that.”
“I know I do,” Dr. Hart said.
A small smile tugged at Amelia’s lips. “I want to keep getting better.”
“And you will,” Dr. Hart said. “Let’s keep working on helping your voice grow. Helping you trust it. Helping you recognize when Lola tries to take over again.”
Amelia nodded. “Okay.”
“Before we finish,” Dr. Hart said, “tell me one thing you’re proud of from this week.”
Amelia hesitated, then said softly, “I didn’t hide.”
“That’s a beautiful start.”
Amelia breathed out, feeling something warm settle in her chest. Something steady. Something hers.
For the first time, she walked out of the session not feeling drained or scared.
She felt… hopeful.
And when she stepped into the waiting room and saw her dad stand up with a relieved smile, she realized something:
The silence wasn’t empty.
It was making room.
For her.