Chapter 29 The Pain Of Disappointment
I cried bitterly into my pillows not caring whether my pillow will be smudged by my makeup. The pain of my disappointment and embarrassment ran deep in my veins.
I had ran out of the venue, cameras flashing at my face as I entered into the limousine that was waiting for me. Thankfully, no one was inside.
I had ignored the servants who had greeted me as I ran up the stairs, ignoring the sound of my phone ringing in my purse. I just wanted to get away, I wanted to disappear. I felt caged, my throat tied as the tears rolled down my cheeks, hot and wet.
A soft knock came a hour later on my door. My lips were tightly sealed, my face covered in snot. I felt a pounding headache that my head spin in circles.
The knock came again but I couldn’t lift my limbs. Two rolls of tears flowing down my eyes onto the the already soaked bed.
“Bree, it’s mum. Can I come in?”
When she didn’t get a response from me, she opened the door slowly and walked in. She rushed to my side immediately she saw my state.
“Oh my baby!” She cooed, scooping me in her arms, hugging me.
I broke down into fresh tears as her warmth eveloped me. She patted my back softly, her other hand on my hair. I finally found my voice.
“I’m so sorry, mum,” I said, coughing as I cried.
She nodded against my chin, disengaging from the hug, cupping my face. I could see the disappointment and hurt in her eyes but she masked it up with a smile. “I know you are baby. I know you are and I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have agreed to Barth’s request if I knew this would have happened.”
“Barth’s request?” I asked with a raised brow.
Mum nodded silently. Remorse etched on her face. “Yes. He had requested that you dance just to try to make you happy at least to make you forget about him and I had thought it was good idea.”
I let out a sad smile thinking about how thoughtful that gesture was but now, it didn’t make any sense to me anymore. He had seen me as liability. A charity case that his father had taken in. Speaking of Aurick.
“Is Aurick…”
My mom shook her head. “Aurick is very much mad at you, Bree. This was a very huge blow on his reputation. Why didn’t you tell me anything about this? Do you know how hurt I felt when I had saw those pictures? Didn’t you trust me?”
I bit on my lower lip, lowering my gaze from her. My lips parted and closed back as I couldn’t find any words to say.
Is this the right time to talk about what had happened between I and Barth? Will it ruin things more?
“Did something happen between you two?” Mum asked, furrowing her brows as she studied me.
“No!” I replied hastily, too hasty. I cleared my throat, feeling awkward. “No, mum. Nothing happened between us both.”
She let out a sigh of relief. “Good. That makes things less complicated then. I will talk to Aurick tonight okay? Don’t cry anymore. Everything will be okay.”
I gave her a hug, trying to be assured by her words but they did nothing but add to the huge burden in my heart.
Things will never be okay…
She kissed me on the forehead and stood up to go, stopping at the door as she looked over her shoulders at me. “And Bree, stay away from Barth. We can’t have more rumors spreading around. This means a lot to me, Bree. I can’t afford to lose it. Get those feelings out of you any way you can.”
I saw the fleeting conflicted gaze in my mother’s eyes and I nodded slowly and painfully. She didn’t have to tell me to stay away from him. I now knew better.
Barth isn’t for me.
And he will never be mine.
The following morning, breakfast was torture. The usual chatter was replaced with silence and I fidgeted with my fingers nervously under the table as the maids served our breakfast.
My mum glanced at me with pity in her eyes and I tried to give out a smile to show that I was fine but we both know I was lying.
Across from me, Barth was seated, his gaze fixed on me. Black eyebags seated on his face, lines etched on his forehead. He probably didn’t sleep last night as well. Guilt filled his face but I avoided his eyes at all cost. Let it eat him up deeply. I don’t care…
Aurick cleared his throat and we all looked at him. “About last night…” he trailed off, looking at both Barth and I.
I tried my best not to look down but I couldn’t overpower the urge in me. My mind was a mess. I hadn’t even slept last night also.
My phone was blowing up every now and then with different texts and notifications, mostly threats and insults.
Pictures of me running out of the venue were posted on different vlogs. The leaked photos of my diary were posted on the University news blog for all to see, tears had burned my face as I read the comments.
Some termed me a whore and a disgrace to the Vanguard’s family just because I had an unhealthy crush on my step brother.
Others called me selfish saying I wanted to ruin my mother’s happy marriage and Barth’s reputation.
Others said I should be withdrawn from the University immediately.
Summer’s texts were also coming in but I didn’t have the mental strength to deal with them last night.
“What happened shouldn’t have happened at all,” Aurick’s stern voice brought me back to reality. “That was a stain on our reputation and I had put you in charge Barth. There was a reason I did, why did you let that happen?!”
Barth’s jaw tightened as he met his father’s hard, angry gaze. “I’m sorry…” he muttered, his face set into a hard line and I could feel the sincerity in his voice.
“You’re sorry!” Aurick thundered, his fist landing on the table with a loud slam that made me flinch. I had never seen him so angry, so out of control and all these was because of me.
“It’s my fault. Don’t blame him,” I said.
“I wasn’t speaking to you. Don’t speak unless you are asked to,” He responded in a harsh tone that made my heart shatter as my gaze dropped to my untouched breakfast.