VIII
The only thing that played in my head as Cam and Jonathan drilled me with questions was the fact that, Clarissa had plaqued my dreams. I was having wet dreams at my age. And the worst part was, we didn't even have proper sex.
I groaned, even in my dreams, we weren't going to have proper sex.
"Huh??"
"Did you hear what we just said?" Cam asked.
"Not really.."
"The receptionist said you came in here with Clarissa, do you remember?"
I tilted my head to the right, as if tilting it would bring all the memories to the fore front, making them easily accessible.
"Care to tell me your name?" I whispered directly into her ears as the music was too loud. I felt myself get a little drunk as I slurred a bit.
"No silly, nobody gives their name to just anyone they just met.. especially at the club." She said with a little giggle. Since she was able to form a full sentence, she wasn't that drunk.
"So what name would she be writing down for you?" I tried again when we got to the receptionist.
Her giggles spilled from her lips once more.
"Anything you like.." this time her finger traced an invisible line on my hand.
"Alright then, she's Clarissa.. and I'm Cam."
I nodded as I remembered what had happened.
"Oh yeah, she never gave me her name, so I gave them Clarissa."
"AND CAM??" Cam exploded.
I placed my right index finger in my ear, so I didn't have to hear him.
"Yeah, I didn't want to give my real name.. remember how that one ended?"
"And you didn't think of something else?"
I waved him off dismissively, the sheets were already too itchy, so I jumped out of the bed. The second my feet landed of the floor, I stretched my arms above my head.
"Do you even know how hard it was to look for you? Nobody knew where you went, and mom called me, she said you weren't taking her calls, when I said we couldn't find you, she nearly blew her head off with worry." Jonathan went on and on.
"I'm sorry I worried you guys, but this is what you guys wanted isn't it? To replace Clarissa.. right?"
"Well yeah.." Jonathan murmured.
I nodded,
"Now imagine I called you guys in the midst of all that? Wouldn't that be, I don't know.. weird?"
Jonathan murmured something inside his mouth. Making me smile.
"Did you at least forget her?" Jonathan questioned.
I took a deep breath to calm myself as I remembered the wet dream I just had.
"If I did forget her, don't you think this question made me remember her?" I asked smartly.
"Hey Kenny, where are your rings?" Cam asked looking around.
My eyes snapped to my fingers, the silver bands that usually lined up on all of my fingers except the thumbs. They were gone, every single one of them. I stood still, my breathing started to go haywire.
"Shit." Jonathan cursed.
Like automated machines, my best friend and brother started to scatter the room, searching for the bands.
I started to panic. The perfect billionaire was crumbling.
"Holy shit." In a second Cam was by my side, he held my hand, leading me to one of the couches.
"Breathe.. just breathe.."
One of my therapist had said when it starts, I should slowly count backyard from five hundred.
"I found two." Jonathan said rushing to us, he slipped into the two of my fingers.
"500..499..498..497..496..495.."
"Found three more!"
"480..479..478..477..476.."
"Found all!"
By the time I was wearing all of the rings, my breathing was almost steady.
"Let's get you home." Jonathan suggested.
I nodded weakly as they lifted me up and walked out of the room. Walking back to Jonathan's car was the quietest the three of us has ever been.
My mind was reeling with so much, when did I take them off? Why did I take it off? I would never take them off, not even to take a bath. That's why mom got me original silver, so they never rust.
Did that girl from last night take them off? Without respect for me? The thought made me angry, but I was too exhausted from the whole panic attack to think about it.
"I'm going to start driving now." Jonathan informed me in a low tone. Something the therapist said everyone should do so I don't get startled.
I nodded weakly. He sent me a nod back, and set the car in motion.
I hated this, I have always hated it. All the times I suffered a panic attack, I made people worry..
Since I was in the orphanage, I wore twisted cables around my fingers, hiding them from view, so no one saw them. I succeeded while at the orphanage, no body saw, no one proded.
Even when I got adopted, no single person questioned the fact that I wore strange things on my fingers. Instead mom got me better rings, every time my fingers grew fatter than them, she replaced them immediately. I was grateful, till now none of them knew the reason behind the rings.
One time at the park, one of the few times I actually went to the park, kids my age asked why I had that many rings. I didn't have any answers for them, so naturally, they start to pick on me. Jonathan came to my rescue, he told them that I was the lord of the rings, and had all the powers they all must be imagining they have.
"We're here.. I brought you to mom's, I figured you'd want to see her." Jonathan spoke in the same tone.
I nod. For some reason, I loved to see mom after a panic attack. When I was younger, she would hug me really tight, the two of us would be bound together after that. We even slept on the same bed.
"Mom.." I whispered as soon as I saw her.
She was waiting out of the car. She hugged me immediately.
"You want mommy to feed you?"
"I'm no longer a child mom." I say half smiling.
"You'll always be my child."
She started to walk me away, but before we left I heard Jonathan question Cam.
"Who do you think removed them?"