Chapter 186 I Don't Deserve Forgiveness

Chapter 186 I Don't Deserve Forgiveness
Jane's POV

I stared at the knife in Jacob's hand, my heart feeling like an invisible fist was squeezing it to the point of suffocation.

We'd only just met, and he was part of this two-generation feud, but somehow all I felt was an overwhelming obsession—I couldn't let him die. I really didn't want anyone else to pay with their life for this painful past.

David reacted instantly. Taking advantage of Jacob's momentary distraction, he stepped forward and firmly gripped the wrist holding the knife, applying just enough pressure to wrestle it away before throwing it across the room. The sharp clatter as it hit the floor shattered the suffocating despair in the living room.

I rushed to Jacob, tears still streaming down my face, my voice breaking as I pleaded, "Please don't do this! Stop thinking about giving up on yourself!"

Jacob's eyes were downcast, his aged shoulders slightly sagging, his voice full of confusion and helplessness. "But Jane, I truly don't know how to keep living."

He'd lived most of his life, and the obsessions, attachments, and hatred that had sustained him had all vanished into smoke. In this empty world, he was utterly alone, unable to even find a direction to keep going.

I took a deep breath, wiped the tears from my face, and looked at him with complete seriousness, speaking each word deliberately. "My mother chose Luke back then, chose the love she wanted. I truly respect her decision and understand everyone's struggles. If she knew what was happening now, she absolutely wouldn't want to see you destroying your own life like this. So I'm begging you—please live."

Jacob shook his head slowly, his voice hollow and distant. "You don't understand. I've carried this burden for decades. Every morning I wake up, I see Luke's broken body, Aaron's lifeless eyes. What's the point of continuing when everyone I've ever loved is gone?"

I paused, looking at his wrinkled face, my voice carrying unprecedented determination. "So many people have already died—Luke, Aaron, my mother... They paid with their lives for all the regrets and sins. That's enough. The remaining days should be lived for yourself."

"For myself?" Jacob let out a bitter laugh, his cloudy eyes reflecting years of self-loathing. "I destroyed everything I touched. My son died broken and disabled because of my choices. My grandson took his own life because of the hatred I couldn't let go of. What kind of man does that make me?"

His words hung in the air like a heavy shroud. I could see him retreating back into that dark place, and panic seized my chest.

"You're wrong," I said firmly, stepping closer despite his attempt to turn away. "You loved them. Everything you did came from love—misguided maybe, but love nonetheless."

"Love?" Jacob's voice cracked. "I called it love, but it was selfish obsession. I should have never let Luke know his mother was murdered. I should have helped Aaron heal his wounds instead of fueling his anger. I'm a poison, child. Everyone around me withers and dies."

The despair in his voice was so profound it made my heart ache. I reached out tentatively, my hand hovering near his arm. "Then prove you're not poison. Stay alive and help me heal. Help David and me build something good from all this tragedy."

Jacob's head shot up, his cloudy eyes filled with disbelief as he stared at me, his voice trembling: "You... you would want that? After everything my family did to yours?"

I met his gaze without hesitation, though my voice wavered slightly: "Yes, I forgive you. But more than that—I need you."

Jacob stared at me for a long moment, his hands shaking. "I don't deserve forgiveness. I don't deserve a second chance. Aaron deserved to live, and he's gone. Luke deserved happiness, and he's gone. Sarah deserved peace, and she's gone. My wife..."

"We can't give them what they deserved, but we can honor their memory by choosing to live—really live—instead of just surviving." A smile mixed with tears gradually spread across my face as I said softly, "I want you to come to my wedding, Jacob. I want you to be family."

"What?" Jacob was completely stunned, his mouth slightly open, the shock in his eyes almost overflowing as he froze in place. "You can't mean that. You barely know me."

"I know enough," I said, my voice growing stronger. "I know you loved your son enough to care for him his whole life. I know you loved Aaron enough to tell me his story. I know you're in pain, and I know what that feels like." I wiped away the tears from the corners of my eyes. "And when we have children someday, I hope you'll help us teach them about forgiveness, about how love can survive even the worst mistakes."

Jacob's face crumpled, and for a moment I thought he might collapse entirely. Tears burst from his cloudy eyes, rolling down his wrinkled cheeks—but these weren't just tears of grief. They were mixed with something else, something fragile and new. His lips trembled as he tried to speak, but was choked up several times.

"I don't know how," he whispered finally. "I don't know how to be anything other than broken."

Looking at his reddened eyes, I felt a bittersweet warmth in my heart as I softly revealed my vulnerability. "Neither do I. My father never liked me, there was no warmth in our house, and I left home alone very early. I've been by myself all these years without any real family. We can figure it out together."

Jacob studied my face for a long time, as if searching for deception, for some sign that this was too good to be true. Finally, he sniffled and roughly wiped his face with his sleeve, his voice barely audible. "You really mean it? You'd want an old fool like me around?"

"Yes," I said without hesitation. "You're Sarah's... you knew my mother. You're Aaron's grandfather. That makes you family, whether we like it or not. But I'd like us to choose it too."

Jacob's shoulders began to shake, and slowly—so slowly—he nodded. "Jane, I... I don't know if I can be what you need. But maybe... maybe I could try. For Aaron. For Luke. For your mother. For my wife." He looked up at me with eyes that held the faintest glimmer of hope. "For you."

Warmth flooded my heart as I turned to look at David beside me. He was watching with quiet amazement, his eyes full of relief and affection. We'd pulled Jacob back from the edge, but I could see it would be a long journey ahead.

Jacob gradually steadied himself, a tremulous smile appearing on his face. He patted my arm gently, his voice still shaky but warmer. "I... I should make you both something to eat. You've traveled so far, and here I am being a terrible host. Just simple food, but... it's something I can do."