Chapter 161 Epilogue: Flowers for the Fallen…
\[Lilia\]
The smell of poppy and roses filled my senses as I set down a basket of them right in front of a lead grey tombstone just. The wind around me gushes in chilly temperature, picking up the autumn leaves, swirling into the air, and ruffling my hair in the process.
“I miss you, Pa,” I whispered, pushing back the tears pricking at my eyes as I stared at his name engraved in bold black characters.
It has been five years since that tragic day, but still, it played back inside my mind like it happened yesterday.
I remember it so vividly that the horrific memories haunted me in my nightmares for years. I was traumatized by the sound of gunshots, I froze whenever I saw blood and trembled even at the subtlest banging noise.
Kael had always been by my side, calming me down whenever I had panic attacks, when I woke up screaming in the middle of the night, and when I sometimes got so violent to the point where I didn’t realize I was already hurting myself and the people around me.
One time, I broke out of my daze, I was holding a knife and I found three of our maids huddled at the corner, terrified as they looked at me. I nearly stabbed them. Fortunately, Kael saw me when it happened.
My attention shifted toward the small statue of an angel we put up next to my grandfather’s grave in honor of my lost child.
Adrian Aslanov.
We haven’t got the chance to know if it was a she or a he. It was still blood when it came out from me. I have suffered through a series of depression after it. Losing two of the most important beings in my life, witnessing it with my own eyes. I think even the sanest person alive would normally go through everything I went through if they were in my shoes.
Kael walked with me through dark waters, keeping me level in my head, holding my hand, whispering words of assurance in my ears whenever I stared blankly through the distance and did not move for hours.
For three years, I shut myself away from anyone else, only Kael was able to talk to me, to keep me going and my psychiatrist. Aya was there too, taking care of my personal needs, and Sasha. She will talk to me nonstop even though she doesn't get a response from me. Val would only stare at me with his face bank but he had so much to tell through his gaze.
For three long years, I stayed that way. Not until last year. When hope came and blessed me with another life. I got pregnant, again. It was like a rainbow shining through horrendous storms. Gave me a new reason to move on in life. To make my past a shield in which it can never hurt me again whenever I revisit them in my memory.
It took me a while to get over those fears, to finally be able to live on carrying such tragedy. Mrs. Natalia Swich, my psychiatrist to keep me in check, ride me through my pregnancy stage, and helped aid my mental state.
My attention snapped when I heard footfalls shuffling through crisps and fallen leaves, soon followed by a familiar voice that never ceases to make my heart flutter.
“Kukla?”
I turned around, instantaneously smiling upon seeing the most precious thing he was carrying in his arms, cooing and fussing.
“I couldn’t stop him from crying. I think he needed you.”
Apparently a little irritated, yet the moment his twinkling pair of beautiful mossy shades he gets from his father, his cute button nose wrinkled, feet kicking, and mouth gaping wide in a gummy smile. Without waiting for them to come to me, I met them halfway, extending my arms and taking my son.
“Hello, my little one. You miss, mom? Oh, yes you do.”
I tickled his little chin, kissing his ample cheeks, and my heart soared with much joy I never thought I would ever feel again after the catastrophe upon hearing my eight months old son laugh with such innocence.
“You think Adi would look like his sibling?”
Adi, short for Aidan Vittorio Aslanov. Yes, we named her after my Pa and his older sibling we never got the chance to see or hold. Kael slink his arms around my waist, pulling us closer to him as we walked towards the tomb. I gently rocked Adi as I turned to look at my husband, watching him stare at the statue we built for our first unborn child.
“I don’t know, but sure he gained two angels watching over him,” I said, leaning my head against the side of his chest as he held me tighter. Adi’s making baby noises, filling the silence that stretches between us, soaking in the moment together.
“Aya is going crazy again.” Kael suddenly blurted out of the blue, chuckling as he went on.
“It’s so unusual finding you out of bed so early. She wasn’t used to that. You slept till noon.”
Ah, yes. That one thing hasn’t changed. She’d been admonishing me to try and wake up early so I can take my medicine on time, but sometimes I was too lazy to get my ass out in bed. The only thing that would get me out of my room is if I had to go to Adi's room or if I needed to take him for a walk outside. But if he sleeps, so do I.
“Val can calm her,” I remarked, grinning having no idea how those two ended up together.
Well, I know Aya has some sort of long-time crush on Val. However, Val was kind of into me the last time I checked before everything went downhill. Kael knows about it later on. I told him about the kiss we shared. I was under the heavy influence of alcohol.
He was mad at first, of course, he beat the hell out of Val after learning about the sneaky kiss. I used Sabina as my trump card, telling him that he was confusing me that time and that he’s fucking engaged to another man. Days after, I just saw the two of them talking, laughing like a madman. That’s when I know they have already settled any animosity between them.
But right now, I’m happy that both my friends are getting everything they deserve in life. Though I didn’t know who made the first move, that doesn’t matter.
“You wouldn’t want to know how.”
“Oh, dare me.”
“Just like how I would calm you.” Kael gave me a dirty wink, and I immediately covered Adi’s eyes, laughing as I gently jab his side with my elbow.
“Really? In front of our son?” I snorted, playfully glaring at him.
“You asked for it.” Kael only shrugs with a wide grin on his face. His eyes glint with bliss, staring down at me.
“I’m so happy to see you smiling again, kukla.”
“You’re one of the reasons to keep me smiling, my love,” I said endearingly and kissed the top of our son’s head. “And this little cub.”
“Time flies so fast. It feels like yesterday he was this tiny.”
Adi was born a little underweight since my OB-GYN advised that we couldn’t let him grow large inside my womb, or else it would be risky for both of our wellness.
I have to maintain my weight, control the things I ate and watch my diet. My prior miscarriage made it a little bit complicated for my second pregnancy, but despite all that, our son was healthy when he came out of this world through a cesarean method.
I wouldn’t mind having a scar on my belly as much as I carried one bullet hole right at the back of my shoulders. I wore them as my battle scars. A reminder of what I’ve been through. Just as they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and I’m the living proof of that.
The path may have been paved with roses but it was full of thorns. It was a terrifying experience, but the ones who stayed by my side made it possible for everything to work out in the end.
“Pa would have been a great grandfather to him.”
“I know he would.” Kael nodded, kissing my temple.
Suddenly, as if his spirit was here with us, a cold sweep of air gushes around us. Kael notices it too and a smile lingers on his face.
“It’s getting colder. We should get back inside and need to get ready. We’re flying back to Russia tomorrow.”
Oh, I almost forgot that we’re here in Italy for a vacation.
I know it wasn’t the best time of the year, but it was Pa and Adrian’s death anniversary. We bury them right here in the middle of the palace’s maze garden, surrounding them with the most beautiful flowers that would bloom every summer. A solemn place where their souls could rest at peace for eternity.
I gave the tombs one last look before we departed. A content, serene smile rested on my face.
“Goodbye, for now, Pa, Adrian. We’ll visit you again soon.”
~THE END~