23

23


FEW YEARS AGO

EVADNE

I was sitting on the porch steps, the wood still warm from the late summer day, my hair sticking to the back of my neck. The sound of cicadas droned in the trees, and I remember how badly I wanted everything to feel normal. But normal had already started to slip between my fingers, though I didn’t know it then.

The fight with Georgia didn’t come out of nowhere. Looking back, I think I felt the tension building for weeks, maybe months, in the little things. The way she’d go quiet whenever Simon was around, the way she’d laugh too hard at something he said, then pretend not to notice I was watching. The way she’d wait for me to leave the room before suddenly remembering something she needed to tell him or give to him because they have English together.

Georgia had been my best friend since we were kids. We’d scraped knees together, snuck into each other’s houses at night, tell eachother our stupidest secrets under blankets with flashlights. She was the one person who felt like home outside of home. But the day it all cracked open, I realized I didn’t know her the way I thought I did.

It was Simon who told me about her plan and how awfully she executed it.

I had gone over to his place after school, still with my backpack and shoes that threatened to break my heel, my backpack sliding off my shoulder. His mother was in the kitchen making some tomatoes and garlic stew it whatever and the sound of her humming filled the air. Simon had been waiting on the back steps, a soccer ball under his foot, his shirt sticking with sweat.

“I'm here now, babe. If this is something stupid I'm going to tell your mom.” I warned.

He looked restless, fidgety, like he had something to say but couldn’t figure out how. “Oh shut up.” he rolled his eyes.

“Sure,” I said, dropping my bag on the porch and sat beside him. “What’s up?”

He rubbed a hand over his face, then let out a long breath. “It’s about Georgia, okay don't flip, I'm only telling you this because if I don't it's prolly going to put me in trouble.”

My stomach dipped. “What about her?”

“She… look, I didn’t know if I should even say anything.” His words tangled awkwardly. “She told me she liked me.”

For a second, I thought I’d misheard. “What?”

“She said it yesterday, after practice. She waited for me outside the gym.” He let out a humorless laugh. “I don’t even know what she was doing there. But she just came out with it.”

I stared at him, my chest tightening. “You’re joking.”

“I’m not.” He sounded serious, and Simon was never the serious one. “And she—” He hesitated, eyes narrowing slightly as if trying to protect me from something. “She leaned in. Like she was going to kiss me, don't scream!”

The porch tilted beneath me and I gripped the pole to steady myself.

“She what?”

“I didn’t let her.” His jaw tightened. “I pushed back. I told her it wasn’t right. But she—she looked pissed. Like I’d betrayed her somehow.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I figured she’d cool down, but now I don’t know. She might come to you first, twist it around. I didn’t want you hearing it from her.”

I sat frozen for a long time, my heartbeat pounding in my ears.

Georgia.

My best friend.

The girl who knew about every crush I’d ever had, who had teased me endlessly when Simon first started walking me home, who had sworn—sworn—that she didn’t see him that way.

And she’d gone behind my back.

“Evy,” Simon’s voice pulled me back, his voice softening as if he knew how dizzy those words made me feel. “I didn’t do anything.”

I nodded, I believed him but I hope, heavens? I hoped he was wrong.

\---

When I confronted her, it was raining that evening

Of course it was raining.

The kind of storm that only reminded me of the fight between my mom and I. I’d left Simon’s house in a daze, my shoes soaking through as I walked the blocks to Georgia’s place, the hood of my jacket pulled low but useless against the sheets of water.

She was sitting on her porch swing watching it rain when I got there, arms crossed, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She looked up, startled, when I stepped out of the rain.

“Evy—what are you doing here? You’re drenched.”

I didn’t answer. My chest was burning too hot to even feel the cold. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Her eyes flickered, then narrowed. “Tell you what?”

“Don’t.” My voice cracked as I held back a sob. “You know exactly what.”

She swallowed, her chin lifting slightly. “Did he tell you?”

“Yes.”

For a moment, she said nothing. The storm filled the silence, rain hammering on the tin roof, water splattering into the gutter. Then she laughed bitterly. “Of course he did.”

“Georgia, how could you?” My voice broke. “You knew how I felt about him, we are in a fucking relationship.”

She stood up, the blanket sliding off her shoulders, her face hardening. “Of course I know, I know you're obsessed with him. That’s all you ever talked about. Simon this, Simon that. Do you know how exhausting it was to always be the shadow? To always be the one listening to you gush about him while he didn’t even notice you half the time?”

My stomach twisted. “Notice me? Georgia he asked me out and you were there and were you so blinded by your sick infatuation you failed to notice, even though he didn't—you thought you’d take him for yourself?”

Her jaw clenched. “I thought maybe he’d see me. Just once.”

Lightning flashed, throwing her face into stark relief, and I saw something in her eyes I’d never noticed before.

It made me hesitate for half a second until the anger surged again.

“You’re were best friend.” My voice was shaking, my fists balled at my sides. “You don’t do that to your best friend.”

“I’m not your sidekick, Evadne!” she snapped. “I’m not here just to cheer you on while you chase after him.”

The words lodged in my chest. I wanted to scream, to shove her, to shake her until the she tells me it's all a prank and she has someone entirely different she's in love with.

“You tried to kiss him.” My voice came out flat, almost a whisper. “You would have if he hadn’t stopped you.”

She didn't even feel sorry for what she did.

I turned away, my vision blurred by more than the storm. “We’re done, Georgia, I don't know you and you don't know me.”