Decorating Our Little Space

Decorating Our Little Space
By the time we got back to our apartment, both of us were exhausted.

The shopping bags had taken over the living room.

Crane dropped his bags beside the couch and looked at the pile.

"We bought too much."

I closed the door behind us.

"You said that three times already."

"Because it's true."

"You'll forget that once everything is decorated."

He looked at me.

"You really think so?"

"I know so."

He laughed.

We had barely rested before Crane pulled the artificial Christmas tree from its box.

"Let's do it."

I stared at him.

"Now?"

"Yes."

"We've been shopping for hours."

"And?"

"And I'm tired."

"You'll survive."

I laughed.

"Fine."

We moved the small coffee table aside and assembled the tree.

The tree stand took longer than expected.

Crane held one side while I tried to fit the base properly.

"You're pushing it the wrong way."

"I'm not."

"You are."

"I've done this before."

"Then why isn't it fitting?"

He looked at me.

"Because you're distracting me."

I laughed.

"That's your excuse?"

"Yes."

Eventually, we got it standing.

It wasn't huge, but it fit the apartment perfectly.

Crane stepped back.

"See?"

I looked at it.

"You're right."

He smiled proudly.

"I usually am."

"Don't get carried away."

We opened the box of red and gold ornaments.

Crane picked up a red one.

"These should go around the middle."

"No."

He looked at me.

"No?"

"They should be spread evenly."

"I know how to decorate a tree."

"So do I."

"Then why are you disagreeing?"

"Because you're wrong."

He stared at me.

I smiled.

"Put that one there."

"No."

"Crane."

"Elias."

We stood there staring at each other.

Then we both laughed.

"Fine," he said.

"Fine."

We eventually reached a compromise.

The red ornaments went mostly around the middle and lower sections while the gold ones filled the gaps.

Then came the warm white lights.

I wanted them wrapped evenly from top to bottom.

Crane wanted them concentrated around the front.

"Nobody is going to see the back," he argued.

"We'll see it."

"Who?"

"Us."

"We're not going to stand behind the tree."

"I might."

He laughed.

"You are impossible."

"And you love me."

"Unfortunately."

I smiled.

"That's not what you said last night."

He shook his head.

We eventually wrapped the lights together.

When we plugged them in, the entire tree came alive with a soft warm glow.

We both stepped back.

For a few seconds, neither of us spoke.

"Okay," Crane said quietly.

"Okay."

"It looks good."

"It does."

The small wreath went on the apartment door.

The Christmas-themed kitchen towels went around the oven handle and beneath the small kitchen counter.

We arranged the scented candles around the living room, keeping two on the coffee table and another near the television.

Crane moved one.

I moved it back.

He moved it again.

"Why?"

"Because it looks better there."

"It looked better where I put it."

"It didn't."

He stared at me.

"You know you're difficult, right?"

"I've heard that."

Eventually, we compromised again.

By the time we finished, our little living room looked completely different.

It was still small.

Still simple.

Still ours.

But the Christmas lights reflected softly against the walls, and the tree stood in the corner beside the couch.

I sat down.

Crane dropped beside me.

"We did a good job."

"Yes, we did." I agreed.

I looked around the room.

Then my thoughts drifted toward the year we'd just lived through.

"Do you ever think about how much happened this year?"

Crane's smile faded slightly.

"All the time."

We sat quietly.

"There were some hard moments," he said.

I nodded.

His parents' struggle to accept that he was gay had been one of the hardest things we'd faced.

I remembered the uncertainty in his voice during those days.

The fear that his relationship with his parents might never be the same.

But his grandfather had eventually helped them understand.

He had spoken to them when Crane needed someone to do so.

He had helped them see that Crane hadn't become a different person.

He had simply become more honest about who he was.

"I'll never forget what your grandfather did," I said.

Crane looked at me.

"I know."

"I love that man."

He smiled.

"He loves you too."

I looked toward the Christmas tree.

"And your grandmother."

Crane laughed softly.

"She really loves you."

"She does."

"She keeps calling you her grandson."

I smiled.

"That means a lot to me."

"It means a lot to me too."

His grandmother had accepted me with a warmth that still surprised me sometimes.

She never treated me like someone standing outside the family.

According to her, I'd become her new grandson.

I had carried those words with me.

They meant more than she probably realized.

I looked at Crane.

"And then there was Harbor Light."

His expression immediately brightened.

"The contract."

"Yes."

I smiled.

"I still can't believe it."

"You earned it."

"I know."

He leaned back against the couch.

"How do you feel about Paul?"

"Good."

"Just good?"

I thought about it.

"I think there's going to be more than a professional relationship there."

Crane looked at me.

"You mean friendship?"

"Yes."

I smiled.

"When I found out Paul and Xavier were gay too, I felt relieved."

"Why?"

"Because I knew they'd understand me better and not use my relationship against me in any way."

I paused.

"Not just as an artist. As a person."

Crane nodded.

I looked around our apartment.

The tree.

The lights.

The candles.

The small kitchen.

The couch where we'd spent countless evenings.

"This place has changed."

Crane looked at me.

"It has."

"It used to feel like an apartment."

"And now?"

I looked into his eyes.

"Now it feels like home."

He smiled.

I reached for his hand.

"This apartment has become more than just a place where I sleep since you became my partner."

His fingers tightened around mine.

"You have become the light of my life. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you."

The words had barely left my mouth when Crane dropped the magazine he was holding.

He cupped my face in both hands.

His eyes were already shining.

"I am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you too."

His voice cracked slightly.

"You have brought meaning into my life. You made me realize who I am, and that has given me so much peace and joy."

He swallowed.

"I love you, baby."

My chest tightened.

"I love you too, my beautiful doll."

His eyes closed.

Mine did too.

He pulled me closer.

I wrapped my arms around him.

Then we kissed.

Slowly at first.

Tenderly.

The Christmas lights glowed behind us, the tree stood quietly in the corner, and the apartment that had once been nothing more than four walls suddenly felt like the place where our entire future belonged.