Chapter 72

I woke up the next day early to go for a run, right afterwards I went to the gym and began throwing punches at a sack. I had woken up with a new mindset, I was going to really show my worth in this pack. Not only would I try to continue lending a hand everywhere I could, not only at the garden, but I would also become respected as a warrior in this pack. I would make sure of it.

I punched that bag again and again, choosing to focus all my strength into those punches. Once my knuckles and arms began giving up, I started to mix things up as I added kicks into the mix. I was sweating hard, yet I still felt as I could do more, so I let myself sometime to drink some water and I sat on the floor looking at my sack. This sack was mine from now on. As I stared at it, I decided that the best thing to do to end this workout was work on my core and head home. Tomorrow, I would have to wake up early to repeat this before working with Callen again.

I grabbed my bag and put it on my back, on one hand my water bottle and on the other my towel, drying the sweat on my face and rehydrating myself at the same time. If I wanted this transformation to be efficient, I had to ask for help. I didn’t know who my best bet to ask for help was. The truth was that I didn’t want Darya, she was great and I bet a much better warrior than myself, but I needed someone like Alexis or Reggo. The reality was that I was afraid of either of them. Nonetheless, perhaps if I asked Reggo, he would start liking me, seeing this new found motivation and intense approach as a positive.

Therefore, knowing that today was the training in our wolf-form. A training session that I swapped out for another human one, since I still couldn’t shift. I made my way there and I saw all of these people’s wolves. It had been a long time since I had shifted, I was fifteen and my wolf, like myself, hadn’t been fully developed yet- I sometimes worried, the coma had impeded my wolf’s growth in those final years. I wish not. Either way, these wolves were much bigger than I had ever been. It didn’t matter if it was a female or a male, the truth was that they were all big, which made Arsen’s wolf’s enormous size more understandable.

As I walked closer and closer, a couple of wolves as they were fighting turned their heads to look at me, before briefly getting back to work. Reggo found me before I could find him. He made his way over to me, by his gaze I could see he was confused by my presence in the arena at this time.

“Aelin, what are you doing here?” He wondered.

I smiled, ready to talk, yet he cut me off, filled with a sense of hope that had awaken in him out of thin air.

“Are you able to finally shift? Are you coming for training?” He asked.

I lowered my face, his questions killing my excitement. “Well, unfortunately no. My wolf is still healing, I’m hoping to be able to shift soon though,” I informed him with a smile, trying to restore in him some hope in me. “I had been thinking about your words from yesterday and I believe you’re right. I have from today started doing extra workouts to try to get up to speed and I was wondering if you or someone could aid me in those extra trainings to truly push me.”

“Oh.”

One could hear the surprise in his voice, that same surprise had been written his face as silence seemed to take over our conversation for a moment. His expression didn’t switch to one of content as I was expecting. It changed into something I couldn’t quite explain, a mixture of feelings too difficult to separate.

“Yeah, I’ll look into that,” he nodded his head. “We’re busy people but you continue with that.”

The shock must have been evident in my face too, because for some reason this wasn’t the reaction I had been waiting for. Someone explain to me why I thought someone would work extra hours just like that? Who was I kidding? How rude of me.

“I totally understand you must be extremely busy,” I began.

“I am.”

“Right, I’m sorry if it sounded wrong in any way. I meant that, if you knew of someone who at some point had the time to help me out a bit here and there, I would appreciate it so much.”

He didn’t look impressed. I panicked.

“But obviously there is no pressure whatsoever, every help no matter how little is apprecited,” I added, “thank you, Reggo.” I finished my statement, nodding my head once before turning around, ready to leave this place and the embarrassment that I was feeling too.

“Aelin,” he called me once I had already put substantial distance between the two of us.

I turned around.

“You should consider being here for the wolf trainings, so when you can finally shift, all this stuff isn’t new to you,” he advised at me then winked and turned around. Even though, I felt as though Reggo had ulterior motives when offering me his advice I felt as though that was a smart thing to do regardless.

So, I walked back and sat on a bench right next some pits where the wolves were fighting. It was indeed impressive to watch, seeing the beasts maneuver their body and pound against each other to try to get themselves into that winning position. Your canines hovering just about the opponent’s neck, less than inches away from their jugular.

The idea brought me back to Khann. I remembered lunging at him the next time that I saw him, ready to kill him. I had gone through all of the rejection process, which I couldn’t actually remember. However, I could remember I was weak, cuts on my back and I remember seeing him, Alpha Cassio and the Luna, dad and mom, right next to him. *What an angel.* I beat them all to it, by the time I had shifted and my canines were right about to dig into his neck, Alpha Cassio used his Alpha voice, forced me to get away from that boy and made sure to promise me that I would never get my wolf back.

“*Amazed?*” One of the wolves mindlinked to me, instantly pulling me out of my thoughts.

I shook my head ever so lightly and I looked ahead, the wolf was looking at me. He was big like every other in this pack, yet didn’t stand out within this crowd. He had beaten his opponent and he was waiting for me to give him his three seconds of glory before getting off that other poor wolf.

I didn’t reply. I simply didn’t know what to answer, so after assessing the situation for a little longer, I turned my focus to another pair that remained fighting.

“*Not enough for you?*” The same wolf ask again.

My eyes flicker to him instinctively, yet I quickly resumed my studying of the other pair.

“*It says a lot coming from a weak and useless female that can’t shift,*” he decided to add as he paced around his pit, looking at me as though I was his prey.

“*Maybe that’s what it is, maybe you’re just so goddamn worried that every female in this arena can do so much shit yet you get to be Luna,*” he gathered, “*is that it? That you know that you are no Luna to this pack? That you’re useless and weak, yet sometimes have all the resources of this pack turned to protect you? Are you that selfish or do you feel the guilt at night, knowing that every one here deserves to be Luna but you?*”

“*I’ll tell you something else. You may think of us as very different, but I’ll offer you this. You and I share one thing: you have the balls to insult your Luna and I have the balls to consider myself Luna despite no one believing in me. But, you know what truly picks us apart,- and it’s not that bullshit about shifting or not shifting, or being a warrior or not. The difference between us is that you will cry and beg for my forgiveness after what you said to me today and I will be cheered for choosing to keep to my title within a few weeks.*” I informed him. “*Oh, and wolf, if it bothers you so much, there’s two things you can do, either talk with the Vampires to set a way to kidnap me and commit a crime against your own, or go talk with your Alpha since you’re so sure I should be rejected. Else, I recommend you to shut the fuck up and focus on fighting.*” I wink at him and walked to a new bench to sit at.