Chapter 61 Lucas’s struggle
Lucas’s chest ached. He stared at the far wall, not really seeing it, because all he could see was Alex’s face from that day. The worry in his eyes. The way his voice had softened when he said Lucas’s name, like it was something fragile he was afraid to drop.
Lifesaver…That was all Alex told Nathan. Lucas swallowed.
So this was part of the price. Being the unseen center of a breaking point. Being the reason a dear friend of his was unraveling on the couch. Then the man he cared about was somewhere else, probably standing in the ruins of a choice he had finally made.
Guilt curled in Lucas stomach.
He hadn’t meant for this to happen. He hadn’t meant to come back into Alex’s life and disrupt it. He meant no harm, he had only wanted to return what had been given to him…sweetness he had never felt before. Something to live for and be grateful for.
Unfortunately, his presence had brought chaos to another's happiness.
He glanced at Nathan. He felt his pain. The red eyes, the slack posture, and the way heartbreak had stripped him of every sharp edge. He did understand because his own heart was breaking too.
Lucas exhaled slowly. His thoughts spiraled. If Nathan knew who the lifesaver was, would he still be sitting here? Would kindness turn into anger? Would the tears harden into hate?
And what about Alex?
Alex had chosen his lifesaver without even knowing if Lucas could choose him back. That scared Lucas more than anything.
He pressed his palms together, grounding himself. He wasn’t ready to be named yet. Wasn’t ready to be the truth that finished shattering someone else. So he stayed silent. Let the secret sit heavy in his chest.
For now, he would carry it.
But he knew deep down that secrets like this didn’t stay buried for long. And when the truth finally surfaced, it would demand something from him in return.
Something he wasn’t sure he was ready to give.
Later that night Nathan went to bed with a heavy heart and a decision to find out who the lifesaver was to tell him that he loves Alex. While Lucas went to bed with another secret praying that it remained hidden for now.
The moment Alex stepped into the family house, Jason was the first face he saw.
“Wow,” Jason grinned. “Big bro, is your brand-new house already too lonely? You should’ve invited me over to keep you company.”
“I’m heading to my room,” Alex replied flatly, brushing past him and taking the stairs two at a time.
Jason blinked, watching him disappear. “Yeah… something’s definitely off with that attitude.”
His smile faded as his thoughts spun. Work problem? Some other issues? Instinct kicked in. He followed.
When Jason entered the room, Alex was already slumped on the couch, eyes closed, shoulders heavy with a kind of exhaustion that went deeper than sleep. One look told him everything…something was wrong.
Jason moved closer and sat beside him. “Do you want me to call Dad?”
“No.” Alex’s voice was quiet but firm. “I’m fine, Jason. It’s not business. I just want to stay here tonight, maybe I can sleep.”
Jason studied him. “If it’s not work, then it’s a matter of heart, right?"
He didn't respond
“Is it Lucas? Or Larissa? Or Nathan? Or that crazy Zenith…or…”
“Enough, Jason.” Alex cut in, his voice low, strained. His eyes stayed shut. “It’s none of them.”
He paused, “It’s me.”
Jason frowned, confused. “If it’s you, then it shouldn’t be a problem… unless you messed up.” He leaned in slightly. “What did you do, bro?”
Alex swallowed. “I hurt him. I didn’t mean to…But I did. He thinks being with me means betraying his friend.” His voice cracked, just barely. “And I’m terrified I might lose him.”
Jason stared at him, processing. “I’m lost here,” he said slowly. “Give me names.”
He hesitated, then asked quietly, “You’re afraid of losing… Lucas?”
“Who else?” He responded by raising his voice a bit. “I'm in a damn dilemma. For these few days, Lucas and I were starting to bond and I've always been in love with him right from the day he saved me. I believed he felt something for me, too, but the problem now is that he found out that I just broke up with Nathan.”
“And so what, being Nathan’s ex is not a big issue…wait is Nathan his brother?” Jason's thought swirled.
“No, his friend.”
“How close are they?” Jason asked.
“Very close I guess. Lucas was staying in his apartment.”
“Oh men, they must be very close indeed. So Lucas found out about you and Nathan and pulled out. Did you try to explain things to him?”
“Yeah, but he didn't want to listen. He said I broke his friend's heart so I should stay away from him. I also told Nathan a while ago that I've found my lifesaver and that I love him. He left with tears. I can't help him. I do feel for Nathan but I love Lucas.”
“I guess he might be crying on Lucas’s shoulder right now.”
“Yeah.” Alex exhaled, the sound uneven. “Nathan still doesn’t know my lifesaver was Lucas. And that’s what scares me.” His voice dropped, rough around the edges. “I’m worried about my Lucas. He’s too innocent to carry that kind of heartbreak. I know what heartbreak did to me.”
Jason studied him for a moment before speaking. “Come on, bro. It hasn’t gotten that far. You just need to give it time. Let things breathe. They’ll both figure it out, and it’ll be better if Lucas tells Nathan himself. Don’t force it. Just… try to close the distance, not widen it.”
Alex nodded slowly. “Alright. Thanks.” He pushed himself to his feet. “I need a shower.”
Then he paused, turned back with a faint, tired smile. “Actually… I think I need a hug right now.”
Jason didn’t hesitate. He crossed the room and pulled Alex into a firm embrace, holding him there until the tension eased—just a little. Then he let go and quietly left the room.
Meanwhile, earlier when Lucas left the company premises, Zenith had slipped into his car and followed at a careful distance. He trailed Lucas to the bus station… then to the final stop.
When Lucas turned onto his street, Zenith parked and continued on foot.
The moment Lucas entered the apartment building, Zenith froze.
“Nathan’s place,” he muttered.
His lips curled into a slow, calculating smile. “So… does this mean they’re living together? “Did Lucas find out about their relationship?” His eyes narrowed. “Did Alex maybe want to replace Nathan with Lucas, and he refused?”
A soft, amused hum escaped him. “Interesting.”
An idea sparked in his mind, wicked and sweet. “Maybe I should push Nathan. Let him ask Alex what he really has with Lucas… and see what breaks first.”
Zenith chuckled as he walked back to his car, the sound low and pleased.
“My sweet, innocent Lucas,” he murmured, starting the engine. “I just need you far away from Alex.”