Chapter 56 Alex’s fear
Lucas managed and responded, “He is not bad. He is a cute man.”
“Exactly, he is so gorgeous and breathtaking. I called him a while ago, but he was busy. I hope he calls me back.”
Lucas felt jealousy grip him. “Nat, maybe you should forget about…”
“Talking to him?” Nathan cut in.
“Come on Luc, you don't understand how I feel about him. Trust me if you're into guys, you will eye him. Everything about him is awesome. I don't even know if I'm obsessed with him because I still miss him a lot and I want to try to win him over again. What do you think, Luc?”
“Nat, I don't know what to think right now,” Lucas muttered, his heart aching.
Nathan chortled at that. “Don't worry, okay. I will just try. If I fail, I will cry on your shoulder. And Lucas?”
“Yes?”
“I meant it,” Nathan said sincerely. “For your new job, put in your best, try one of your new recipes. Serve him to taste, my Alex likes getting practical. Take care of yourself, okay.”
“Thank you, Nat,” Lucas replied softly.
He ended the call and stood there for a long moment, staring at his dark screen, Alex’s face rising uninvited in his thoughts.
“The same Alex?” he said almost in a whisper.
Instantly his anxiety surged—sharp and sudden, like the floor had given way beneath him. His chest tightened. His heart began to race, then ache, then fracture slowly under the weight of realization. Tears welled up in his eyes.
“Oh goodness, this hurts.” He cried holding his chest.
His emotions spiraled as his thoughts ran. The same Alex Nathan had broken up with just a few days ago.
The same Alex, whose name Nathan had spoken with quiet hurt, masked behind jokes and indifference, was the same Alex Lucas had once pulled from danger years back.
His hands shaking, breath ragged, not knowing then how deeply that single moment would etch itself into his life. And somehow, to his disbelief, still the same Alex had captured his heart immensely.
Lucas dragged a hand through his hair and let out a shaky breath, his back sliding down the wall until he was crouched on the floor. His thoughts tangled, crashing into one another.
“How could I not see it? How could I not suspect that he was the same? I kissed him and…and…”
He ran his hand through his hair in confusion. “What am I going to do?”
The warmth, the attention, the way Alex looked at him like he mattered. The tenderness in his voice. The words whispered near his ear—you’re very dear to my heart.
All of it replayed in Lucas’s head with a bitter edge. He knew Nathan was his friend but he never talked about him.
“Damn it, I trusted him. I trusted the man who had just broken my friend’s heart. I even let him kiss me. What will Nathan think of me?”
Lucas’s heart ached as he squeezed his eyes shut, guilt clawing at his chest. His thoughts ran, Nathan had spoken kindly of him. He had never painted Alex as a cruel person, just distant, withdrawn, unavailable. And yet the truth remained. Nathan was hurting and he had not given up. And I had unknowingly stepped into the space Alex had left behind.
“Oh dear goodness, what kind of friend does that make me?” He muttered audibly.
His stomach twisted with regret. Every smile he had returned, every laugh they had shared, every moment he had leaned into Alex’s embrace now felt like a betrayal. It was unintentional, but painful all the same.
And worse…it was dangerous now because his heart hadn’t just been fluttering. It had already fallen for Alex.
Lucas pressed his palm over his chest as if he could still it. No, he couldn’t let this continue. He wouldn’t be the reason Nathan’s wounds would go deeper. He wouldn’t be the one tangled in unresolved love and quiet damage.
No matter how much it would hurt.
Slowly, painfully, Lucas made a decision. He would stay away from Alex. He would create distance, draw boundaries. Shut down whatever fragile thing that had begun to bloom between them before it rooted itself any deeper. He would keep it professional, polite, and safe.
Even if it meant swallowing the ache. Even if it meant breaking his own heart first—before it would be broken for him.
Lucas rose unsteadily to his feet, his resolve hardening beneath his fear. I can do this, he told himself. I have to.
And yet, despite the determination settling in his bones, one painful truth lingered—unwanted and relentless:
Walking away from Alex was already hurting more than he had expected.
Meanwhile, the moment Alex stepped into his house. He knew there was bound to be a problem ahead. He knew that Nathan had mentioned Luc, a friend of his in culinary school before. It was just casually, back when things between them were okay. At the time, it hadn’t bothered Alex or crossed his mind that it could be his lifesaver.
People shared friends. The world was small. He hadn’t thought twice about it. Not until he recommended him for work, but tonight, when he saw the way Lucas’s face lit up when Nathan’s name flashed on his screen, his heart ached.
Lucas’s smile had been instant. Unfiltered, very friendly, and pure.
And it hit Alex harder than he expected.
When he drove off that time, his hands tightened on the steering wheel, eyes fixed on the road though his mind was nowhere near it. Lucas’s laughter replayed in his head. The warmth in his voice when he had said It was his friend Nathan.
Alex exhaled slowly, unease creeping in where calm had been moments before. Nathan had been hurt—more than he’d ever admitted out loud. And Alex knew he was the reason. He had walked away when things became too heavy, too real, leaving Nathan to pick up the pieces alone.
Now Lucas was smiling because of him. The thought twisted something in Alex’s chest.
What will he think of me? Alex wondered. What happens when he finds out I’m the one who broke his friend’s heart?
Lucas had looked at him with such trust. Such openness. As if Alex were his safe haven. As if he were someone worth leaning toward.
Alex swallowed hard.
He replayed Lucas’s shy Thanks for the ride, my Alex. The way he had looked up at him, unguarded, unaware of the fault line beneath them.
He’ll pull away, Alex realized. And he’ll have every right to.
The idea of Lucas looking at him with disappointment, or worse, hurt. It made his chest ache. Alex hadn’t meant for this to happen. He hadn’t meant to want him. He hadn’t meant to cross lines that were already tangled and fragile.
But he had. And now the question haunted him. Should he tell Lucas the truth about him and Nathan first
Or wait for the moment Lucas found out… and watched whatever was growing between them quietly fall apart?