Chapter 6 Someone Who Understands
Corran
I am nervous about April coming over, and I don’t understand why. It isn’t like I asked her out on a date. It is dinner between neighbours, nothing more. It probably doesn’t help that April will be the first woman I have had dinner with since I lost my wife. I don’t tend even to have female friends. A part of me feels that if I am around any woman, I am betraying Edin, even if I am not. She told me she wanted me to move on within time and find someone else, but it isn’t something I will ever be able to do. Maybe I will start dating again somewhere down the line, but it won’t be anytime soon, and it won’t be more than casual dating. My heart will always belong to Edin, there is no room for anyone else, and that is okay. I had true love, real love with her, and that is more than enough to last me a lifetime.
I sigh, trying to focus on making dinner. I am not making anything fancy. A simple chicken and brown rice stir-fry with mixed veggies. I don’t want it to seem like I am trying to make it into a date. I have chocolate fudge cake for after if she wants it.
I try slicing some of the veg, but my hand slips. My palms are all sweaty. What is the matter with me? I groan, clean them off, and try again. Maybe it was a bad idea to invite her over. I felt bad for being judgmental, and the fact that she would be eating takeout food. I reach for my beer, taking a sip to calm my nerves and focus on finishing dinner. It was supposed to be all ready to cook. The only thing cooked is the chicken; I pre-cooked it and will add it later. As long as I have everything prepped before April arrives, that is fine. I can cook it while she is here, it won’t take long. Well, if she comes. She didn’t seem too keen on the idea.
I finally finish prep and clean myself up a little. Taking my beer, I go to relax on the sofa until April arrives. I glance around at my place, making sure it isn’t too messy. I don’t want to seem like a slob. I rest back on the sofa, sigh and run my fingers through my hair.
“What am I doing!” I whisper to myself.
With my thought, a knock comes at my front door. Here goes. We don’t exactly get along great; this dinner could be awkward. I take a deep breath and jump to my feet, going to answer.
“Hi,” April says with a smile as I open the door, “I bring wine. It is the only thing I have.”
“Hello, wine is fine. You didn’t need to bring anything, though. Please, come in.” I smile and step aside to allow her room to come in.
Closing the door, I take another deep breath before I turn to her. “Um, where are the glasses? I need some wine for some reason I am nervous about being here.”
“Me too, but I don’t understand why, either. It is only dinner,” I laugh, taking the bottle from her. “Make yourself comfortable.”
I am glad I am not the only one. April nods and goes to sit on the sofa. I pour us both a glass of wine and join her, handing her one. She thanks me, taking a sip of it. The awkwardness is already brimming in the air. I swear I have forgotten how to talk to women.
“Have you lived here long?” she asks, breaking the silence.
“A couple of years. What made you move here?”
I stayed in a house with Edin before this, but after she passed, it was too much, and I had to leave.
“Um, I needed a change.” She whispers, a sadness in her tone.
“Sometimes a change is a good thing. Why so far from home?”
“It was something I had thought about for a while. I didn’t think I would be doing it alone.”
“Break up?” I ask.
April takes a sip of her wine and shakes her head. “No, I lost my husband four years ago. A drunk driver killed him.” She whimpers.
It explains a lot. I know that feeling of needing to get away.
“I am sorry, April, I know how that feels,” I reply, the same sadness in my voice.
Her attention quickly falls on me. “You do?”
“Yes, I lost my wife to cancer two years ago. I have never gotten over it. If one more person tells me time is a healer, I am going to slap.”
“I know, right? They don’t understand. They will never understand. I am sorry about your wife. Were you together long?”
“Fifteen years. How about you and your husband?”
“We were together from when we were thirteen. We ran away and got married at sixteen and never looked back. I never thought our time would be cut so short.”
Oh, wow, that’s crazy, being with someone from such a young age and marrying at sixteen.
“Wow, that is a young age. Life is cruel, isn’t it?”
“It was, but we knew instantly we were meant to be together. We were all the other had. Yes, it is very cruel. It doesn’t get easier. I wish I could tell you it does, but it doesn’t. Time passes, and maybe you won’t think about it as much, but it doesn’t get easier.”
I can see the tears brim in her eyes. I stop myself from reaching over and wiping them away before they fall, it would be inappropriate.
“What was your husband’s name?”
“Corbin. What about your wife?”
“Edin. I never thought such pain was a possibility until the day I lost her.”
“Same. Life was good, and then one moment takes it all away.”
I never thought April would have gone through the same as I did.
“Yes, it does. I will always cherish the years we had together, though.” I smile.
April nods and smiles. “Me too. No one can ever take those away.”
I take a sip of wine. “You are the only person I have met who understands.”
“Yes, it is the same for me. I would love to talk some more about them, but maybe not tonight. I am already trying to fight back the tears.”
“That would be nice to have someone to talk to about her. Tonight, maybe we should talk about lighter things. Are you hungry?”
“Good idea. I am. Do you need help with anything?”
I shake my head. “No, everything is prepped. I need to cook it. Please, relax until dinner is ready.”
I disappear back to the kitchen to start cooking. Edin comes to mind because we were talking about her. April and I could maybe be what the other needs. A friend who understands the struggles and the pain. Someone who won’t say time is a healer or that you should be getting back out there.