Chapter 32 There Is One Way To Find Out
April
Silence falls between us, neither knowing what to say. I take a deep breath and turn to face Corran. I find him already staring at me. I open my mouth to speak, but I am lost for words once again.
We seem as confused as one another about what is going on. There is something, clearly. If there weren’t, then we wouldn’t keep getting ourselves in these types of situations.
“So what do we do...” he asks.
I chew on my lower lip, and before I can stop myself, I close any distance between us and crash my lips to his. He groans. I expect him to pull away, but he doesn’t. Corran kisses back. The kiss becomes passionate and heated quickly. It doesn’t feel anything like the first two. Corran pulls me into his lap, and I don’t try to fight against it. Every single doubt that was running around in my head has gone in the moment. I straddle him, our lips not parting, even for a second. Corran grips my hips and kisses me harder. A deep moan escapes from my lips, vibrating against his. Something that started as a kiss is turning into a make-out session. Feelings are soaring through me that I haven’t felt in a long time. Between my thighs is throbbing. I haven’t been so aroused since the last time Corbin and I made love, the morning before he was killed. No, I can’t think about that right now.
Corran’s growing excitement soon distracts me from any thoughts while it presses between my thighs. I draw away from the kiss, not because I want to stop, but because I need to get the air back into my lungs. Loud pants escape from both our lips. Our eyes open, meeting each other. I notice the flush on his cheeks, and I am sure I look the same.
I don’t even try to move off his lap. He doesn’t seem to want to move anyway, as he continues to hold my hips.
“That was different,” he breathes out.
“Good different?” I ask nervously.
He doesn’t answer me with his words; instead, his claims mine once again and our lips soon move together in perfect sync. Corran runs his hand down my back, over my ass and rests on my thighs. My skin feels like it is on fire beneath his touch. Things are quick to become heated once again. An eagerness overtakes, and I rock my hips against him. The movement makes him growl into the kiss.
Suddenly, he parts. “April, I am nervous.”
“I get that. I am too. It is okay, we can stop. There is no need to rush into anything.”
“I don’t want to stop. It has been such a long time since I last had sex. The last person I had it with was Edin.”
“I understand that. I am the same. The last time for me was the morning before I lost Corbin. I haven’t been with anyone since then either.”
“So where do we go from here?”
“Um, there are other things we could do without having full-on sex. One step at a time? Well, if you are into those things?” I whisper and look away from him.
I don’t know how to do this anymore, ask for anything sexual. I didn’t need to ask Corbin; he always knew what I wanted and needed.
“I may not have had in a while, but I am a man after all, so what do you think the answer to that question is?” he chuckles.
I playfully roll my eyes. “Yeah, yeah.”
Are we really going to do this? What if we are in the middle of it, and I freeze? It would be embarrassing. What if I have forgotten how to do these things? Surely it can’t be something you unlearn after years of doing it?
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes, I want it.”
The sexual tension between us is going to go away unless we do something about it. Maybe a one-time thing will be enough to calm things down between us, and we can return to just being friends. Or, it can go the other way, and it will make us crave one another more, but we won’t know unless we try.
“Good, me too.”
He makes sure he has a tight hold on me and stands. I wrap my arms and legs tightly around him. He carries me straight to his bedroom and gently lays me down on the bed. I pull him over me and reach up to kiss him. I bring his tee over his head and toss it aside. I am just going to go for it. We have made it clear what we want, why waste any more time? If any of us changes our mind and wants to stop, we only need to say the words, and we can stop. There is no pressure. We have the right to change our minds.
I trace my fingers down his strong back, and Corran’s muscles contract under my touch and a groan escapes from his lips. He likes me touching him. Corran removes his lips from mine and trails them down my jawline and onto my neck, kissing and gently sucking on the skin. I whimper loudly and entangle my fingers in his hair. My neck is one of my many weak spots. I wonder if he can find them all, given the chance.
He rests his lips on my ear. “Are you sure you want this?”
“Yes, I am positive. I need you to touch me, Corran. I want you to touch me.”
I need the throbbing between my thighs to stop. I don’t mind what he uses to fix the problem, as long as he fixes it.
“You will be impressed with my skills,” he rasps, his words full of confidence.
“Mmm, I will? Then what are you waiting for? I need you to prove it to me.” I reply, matching his confidence.
“I plan on it...”