Chapter Twenty-Nine

Celia The next day, I got up and my nose was stopped up and I could barely think straight because my head hurt so badly. I went into class anyway, because I didn’t want to miss a day but by the time I got to my English class with Becky, I wanted to just go home.

She cornered me as the class ended and dragged me down to the diner. “I need to talk to you. It’s important.”

She’d hissed the words in a way that told me she wasn’t just trying to get me to go eat with her. She really had something she needed to tell me.

“Listen,” I said with my head over the cup of coffee I’d ordered. I let the steam roll up onto my face and into my nose. It didn’t help, but it didn’t hurt either. “I feel like complete shit, so I’m sorry if I don’t seem interested. I am. I just don’t feel well.”

“I’m sorry, but I need to talk to you. I don’t know who else I could trust with this.” Her eyes welled up and she leaned closer to whisper. “It’s about Mike.”

I looked around but didn’t see the waiter anywhere. “Is he not here today?”

“No, he works later tonight.” She rolled her eyes and looked down at her hands. “He wants...”

She paused and I could see the way she struggled with herself as if she couldn’t believe what she was about to say. “He wants me to have group sex. He’s been accepted into some kind of club and they do stuff like that. I don’t know. It’s not what I had planned in life, you know? I mean, I know people do it, but not me.”

I remembered the place Keith had taken me to, that adult club with all the sexual debauchery in every room and wondered if Mike’s club was the same kind of place. Or even the same place, perhaps. Stranger things had happened, I thought and cringed a little. It would be a little bit embarrassing if Becky caught me there with Keith. I’d have to ask him if he knew Mike from the club.

“I, well…” I could feel the way my eyes fluttered, unsure of what to say to her. She was so adamantly against the idea that I had to wonder why she’d even bothered to ask my opinion. “If it’s not something you want to do…”

“Would you, Celia?” she asked in an accusatory voice, her eyes on mine. She was angry with me for some reason. “Anybody that would do something like that is dirty. It’s so… nasty.”

I was taken aback by how much she was against it. “I’m not saying I would, but I’m not saying I wouldn’t either. It would depend.”

“On what? On how much you want to subjugate yourself to a bunch of men that just want to use you as fucktoy?” She grimaced as she thought about it but I cringed.

What had she seen that made her think that was the only way group sex would happen? It must have been porn made for the male gaze. That kind of stuff was always cheap and horrible I thought and I didn’t watch it. I wasn’t a huge fan of porn, but I knew that it existed. I liked the erotic books and short stories I’d found online much better. Although some of those were written for the male gaze too, I reminded myself. Some were written for women, however, mainly by other women, it had to be.

“It’s not always like that…,” I tried to say but she cut me off.

“How would you know?” She hissed. “You don’t even know…”

But she stopped and looked away.

“I don’t know what, Becky?” I asked, and waited for her to answer, but she didn’t. So, I said something else. “I do know you’re the one that asked me here and now you’re treating me like shit. I really don’t get it.”

I leaned back in the booth and stared at her. She had the good grace to look ashamed, at least. “I’m trying to help you and all you can do is treat me like I’m wrong for having an opinion.”

I thought about that woman I’d seen in the other room. How she’d been the one in control and not a fucktoy at all. She’d been pleasured, worshipped which was totally different to what Becky had described. “It’s not always about the man, you know, or men in that case. Sometimes, if you’re the one in control, it can be about you and how you all get off.”

She stared at me speculatively now, then her shoulders slumped, her green eyes miserable. “That’s what Mike said, but I don’t believe him. It always turns out to be the men treating the woman like a slab of meat and not a human. And yeah, I’m sorry for being such a bitch. You don’t deserve it.”

I patted her hand across the table and smiled. She’d hurt my feelings but I let it go. I don’t think either of us was used to having relationships and this was new to both of us. I couldn’t blame her for that.

“Girl, listen. If it’s not something you want to do, don’t do it, Becky. It’s that simple.” I shrugged and sat back in the booth again. “But if it is, don’t let someone else ruin it for you, or let your own prejudices take away something that could be a good experience.”

“What does that mean?” Her face screwed up and she looked at me in disbelief. “Don’t tell me you’d do it?”

“I might, with the right men. Or group.” I smiled, then laughed. “But I doubt anyone would ever want to have group sex with me.”

“I think you don’t realize how beautiful you really are, Celia. Especially with that pink hair. I love it, by the way.”

“Thanks.” I touched my hair, and then took a sip of my coffee to hide my discomfort. “I’ll have it for a while, so I’m glad people like it so much.”

“It suits you,” she said and nodded her head. “You’re right too. I shouldn’t be so judgmental. I can’t help it sometimes. I have these strange ideas, which is why people don’t bother to get to know me well sometimes. They think I’m weird.”

“You are weird, girl, but that’s why I like you.” I winked at her and picked up the menu. “Now, what do I want to eat.”

“Chili with cheddar cheese, a toasted cheese sandwich, and some pickles.” I heard Becky repeat across from me.

“How did you know?” I was amazed she knew what I’d want.

“Because, it’s cold as fuck outside, and you always order it now.” She smiled knowingly and beckoned to the waitress that we were ready to order.

“I’m that predictable, huh?”

“Sometimes,” she grinned and looked up as the waitress came to us. When our orders were in and the woman left, she turned back to me. “Thanks, Celia. I still think the whole idea is weird, but you listened at least.”

“You can only do what you’re comfortable with, Becky. Some people are more open to things. Do you think it will be a problem for you two?”

“Maybe.” She leaned back to let the waitress put her cheesesteak sandwich and fries down and then waited. Once the waitress was gone, she chewed up a fry and then spoke again. “He keeps talking about it, mainly when we’re, you know…”

She sort of frowned then looked away. I grinned and leaned closer. “Doing it.”

I couldn’t believe the free spirit that seemed to be open to anything had such a hang-up about this subject, but then I thought about how I felt when Keith took me to that club. I’d felt the same and had a hard time with it until I thought about it and watched. Maybe that’s what she needed?”

“Maybe you could, I don’t know, watch?” I offered as I let the slice of cheddar cheese on top of my chili melt into the concoction in the bowl. I stirred it around and then looked at her. “Maybe?”

“Ugh. I really don’t know.” She took a bite of her sandwich and then looked around. She seemed to be searching for an answer from the outside world. She wouldn’t fit, I knew, because she had to find the answer inside of herself. “It’s just so hard.”

“I know. We’re taught one partner, marriage, and then babies. But it doesn’t always have to be that way. And you’re an artist, Becky. You’re the one that’s supposed to be exploring all of this, not me. I’m going to major in medicine, I’m the one that should be telling people it’s unhealthy behavior and all of that shit.” I laughed at myself and took a bite of my food.

“You’re right. This doesn’t have to be that hard. Maybe I should go with him and… watch.” From the way she smiled, I wondered if she liked that idea even better than the idea of participating.

“Maybe it’s a compromise you can make,” I offered, more interested in my food now. She seemed to be appeased and I had skipped breakfast that morning, so I was starving.

“I think you could be on to something.” Her cheeks flushed pink and then she went quiet too.

We’d reached a solution for her I hoped.

We’d kind of reached one for me, too, though Becky didn’t know that part. I’d been on the fence about it all, and I’d done some research online when I was alone. I’d found out about the polyamory community. About the variety of groups sex that there were and so much more. I had looked at it all with disbelief, but now I knew that it wasn’t so strange. I wasn’t certain I ever wanted to be a part of something like that, but I’d learned that maybe it was something I’d like to try.

Now, I realized I liked the idea even more but still wasn’t sure it was something I’d ever take part in. Keith was it for me. He was the total package, and even though we hadn’t been together that long, I knew that nobody else would ever compare to him.

We finished our lunch and then I had to get to work. “Let me know how it goes. If you want to. If not, at least let me know how you are.”

She laughed, hugged me, and agreed that she would text me. I left her with a lot more on my mind that I’d planned. When I finally got to the library, though, I had a fever and had started to cough and sneeze. My boss sent me home early, with a warning not to come back in until I was better.

“Don’t come out here spreading your germs around, young lady. It’s just irresponsible and will mean the rest of us get sick. Keep it to yourself.” He was a gruff fellow, but he wasn’t evil. I nodded and left to go home.

As soon as I got there, Keith saw my flushed cheeks and put me straight to bed. He brought me chicken noodle soup, but I’d fallen asleep. He woke me up to eat it and then, I fell asleep again. I dreamed crazy fever dreams, and then a load of sex dreams that had me hot, which made me even more miserable with the fever, but I didn’t wake up. I was too ill and weak.

Keith brought me in some medicine for the fever, sneezing, and coughing. I took it and promptly fell right back to sleep, though. I heard voices at one point but thought it was just a part of the fever.

“She’s hovering at a very high fever point. We should think about calling an ambulance.” A Snoopy version of Keith said. But then there was another version of Keith, this time a Pluto version, that wrung his hands and spoke to the other Keiths.

“It’s only a cold. I have it too. I don’t think she’ll appreciate being taken to a hospital. Let the medicine have time to work and we’ll keep an eye on her.” His Pluto face looked down at me and I tried to speak, but I felt like my jaw had been stuck in mud. I closed my eyes, confused and too tired to say anything.

Why were there three Keith’s though, I wondered as I fell into blackness. And why was the other one Scooby Doo?