Chapter 7 --- I’m sorry Raph

I woke up feeling elated, yesterday night turned out to be one of the highlights of my life and my moments with Michael, I had my first kiss with the man I was insanely in love with. We decided not to go back into the hall so I and Michael stayed outside, he already had his award with him and his phone was pretty much all he came in with so he didn’t have to go back inside. We stayed outside for a while before he walked me down to my hostel, he spoke about planning something to ask me out officially and asked if I was ready, and yes of course I was ready. He asked that I pick a date and I picked Saturday. So Michael will be asking me out officially on Saturday, I really can’t wait.

It was Sunday. Everybody felt lazy on Sundays, all most people wanted to do was eat, sleep or just be involved in activities that were fun and free of any form of stress . Majority of the boys were out playing ball and maybe few ladies who had interest in sports, and for some what kept them out was church.

It wasn’t a lazy Sunday for me though as I woke up feeling quite energetic and I know I will keep feeling this way all through the week because of what was happening on Saturday. I reached for my phone to see if Michael had woken up and replied my Good morning text, I let out a big smile as I read his message

*Loml. Good morning. My night was quite short, couldn’t stop thinking about Saturday can’t wait*

*me too, my love* I replied. Just when I was about to call Michael, I received a text from Raphael. This wasn’t new or surprising and I would have overlooked it like I usually do, but the content of the message had me curious and low key worried.

*so you lied to me all this while? Wow, so much for being in love with you!* I didn’t understand this message, he said I lied to him, how, when, what was he talking about. Before I could place my mind around what he was talking about, I received a call from him. I would have ignored like I always do but I had to know what he was talking about.

“Hello” I answered

“Can you come outside let’s talk, I’m in front of your hostel” he sounded really distressed

“O…kay” it had to be something very serious and I was really curious to know what exactly, so I agreed to see him.

I stepped outside to see him standing right at the entrance of the hostel, like a hungry lion waiting for its prey.

“Hi, what’s going on” I asked

“Not even a good morning? It’s alright though” he had this really sober face on, like he was going through heartbreak. I didn’t give him a reply but just stared at him, like I was lost, I actually was and I needed him to say what was wrong

“What’s happening between you and that guy Mic on Saturday” I felt my heart beat so loud I could feel the force in my chest, how did he know, were he and Michael friends and even if they were, what has that got to do with him

I composed myself and summoned the courage to reply “how did you know about this and what does it have to do with you?”

“Well, a friend of mine who knows about my feelings for you had gone to Mic’s room and overheard him talking to his roommate about it”

“Okay, so, what exactly is the problem?”

“Wait, Ladi are you for real, what about the promise you made in 100l” he chuckled

Now I was scared, what promise was he talking about? I can’t remember ever making him a promise. As far as I am concerned I have avoided him in every possible way I can, ignored his calls, aired his chats, except for the few times when I bumped into him and I made sure we didn’t even talk for long. He was being delusional

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Raphael, you and I have never had a conversation long enough for me to make promises, so where is this coming from” the look on my face said a lot, a lot like he was crazy.

He chuckled, could see tears form in his eyes. He brushed his hands through his hair trying to prevent them from rolling down. I was sorry for him but at the same I was angry because I couldn’t remember ever making him promises, this is one of the reasons I avoided him so I don’t give him the wrong ideas

“Ladi, 100l first semester on Thursday evening when we ran into each other and I declared my feelings for you, I told you I understood you were avoiding me because we were young and that I was ready to wait for you, and I asked if you were okay with that and you agreed. Ladi I have waited and looked forward to starting a relationship with you all through my stay in school, I always thought you were ignoring me because you didn’t want to get distracted, so I never pushed further or asked questions but now I know it was all because of that guy”

I squinted, trying so hard to remember when, and then I figured it out. That night I got lost half way through his speech, I only heard when he said he loved me, every other thing was blank because I was focused on Michael and the girl he was out with, that was the night I and Michael had our first fight. I feel so sorry for Raphael. I wish this had come up earlier so he wouldn’t have had the wrong idea all this while.

“Raphael, I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention to you that night, my mind was somewhere else and I just had to reply you so you could let me go. And the guy you’re talking about is Michael, the man I love with all my heart so please stop having all these ideas and let me be”

He paused, and stood staring at me, if heartbreak was a person it would be him because of what he looked like at that moment, like he was going to break apart, like I had just shattered his heart and dreams apart and I was sorry, very sorry but I had to tell him the truth and go for the man I loved.

“Its fine, I just want you to know that I am not giving up on you, the kind of love I feel is stronger than giving up just like that. I would hold on for as long as I can”

“Be good, and what’s with the rashes on your pretty face, I hope you’ve seen a doctor for it?” he added

“Yeah, I have. Thanks” the rash was already clearing up and in the middle of a conversation so sensitive he still cared to ask if I was treating it, maybe he really did love me but I was head over heels in love with Michael and nothing could ever change that.

“Uhm, bye” I said as I headed in to my hostel.

I unlocked my phone to see two missed calls from Michael and new messages, I didn’t take my phone along when I went so see Raphael, I left it charging. I dialed Michael’s number immediately. I know he must have been worried

“Hey love” I said

“Where did you keep your phone, I’ve been calling. I hope you’re fine?”

“yes, I am, I’m so sorry, I left it charging” I wanted to tell him how Raphael asked to see me but then I felt saying it over the phone wasn’t a good idea so I didn’t. I decided to tell him when we see so I could explain properly and there wouldn’t be misunderstandings.

“Okay my love, you stay safe and also close to your phone because I will be right in your Dm’s trying to get your attention”

“And I will be right here ready to give it all to you” I laughed out loud as we ended the call. I let out a deep sigh and thought about how to tell Michael about Raphael without getting him annoyed or insecure that another man was head over heels in love with me, the woman he loved.