Chapter 4- I love you

Michael’s POV

I noticed Ladi during the first departmental meeting we had, I heard someone laugh out loud and looked over where she was seated, I was really curious about who would be so careless during a meeting, i immediately turned my gaze to the course rep, as she looked around to see if she had gotten anybody’s attention and that made me laugh. I didn’t want her to feel more embarrassed. I realized she did that subconsciously, and I understood her too because the meeting was quite boring.

After the question I threw at the course rep I found her staring directly at me, and at first I was uncomfortable, but I later found it really interesting, I had enough time to look directly at her, she had such beautiful eyes, and her lips suited her face so well. There was something about her too, more than all the beautiful features. Something about her attracted me to her. Maybe the way she smiled, or the innocence in her voice. I couldn’t really say what I wanted from her. I liked her but I wasn’t sure if I wanted something with her till I saw her with some guy that night, who happened to be all over her and she looked like she was enjoying his company too.

I didn’t have plans of going out that night, but I received a call from a friend who happened to be my neighbor at home, she attends the same school and had gone home during the weekend and was sent by my mum to give me a few things, she walked down to my hostel to give me the package but I thought I should see her off back to hers so I could reply Ladi’s message and ask her to come outside. But then half way through the walk I saw Ladi with a guy, and she asked her friend to leave so she could talk to him. Seeing her with another guy stirred up different emotions I couldn’t understand or control, so I decided to tell Nicole to hang out with me for a while before I saw her off to her hostel, maybe I could get over what I was feeling. Not sure if Ladi had even noticed my presence because that guy seemed to have had her full attention.

It’s been two weeks since the incident happened and Ladi and I haven’t been talking, she sent a text message asking what was wrong and if I was okay but I really didn’t feel like replying. I have also avoided her during classes and she has returned the favor and minded her business. I was mad at her, and was also mad at myself because I was obviously falling for her and I didn’t want that, I can’t be in love with her and see her with another guy, I would beat him up. I wasn’t ready to get expelled or suspended.

There was a karaoke party this evening, I wasn’t a fan of things like that but I was pretty sure Ladi would be there, she loved music and loved activities like that, I wanted to see her, I miss her too much, I miss her voice, her soft beautiful voice, I picked up my phone to go through her status, she hadn’t posted in a while, I wonder why. I wanted to send her a text asking if she was going to be there but I couldn’t even find the courage to.

“Guy, you dey go that karaoke party?” I asked my roommate Dave, he was the only one who would be interested in something like that. The other two guys were devoted nerds. They would rather read a book than go out for a party

“Yeah, sure thing” he replied

“Abeg, we go together” I didn’t want to walk to the party alone just in case I saw Ladi and she was with that guy.

We reached the car park, which was the venue for the karaoke party and it had quite a huge gathering, people were everywhere. Now I had to find Ladi, Dave already met with his girlfriend so I had to walk alone and expect to find the worst.

Been going round each corner but I still haven’t found Ladi, I guess I have to put a call through, I hope she’s doing okay. She would never miss an event like this. The school was already such a bore that this party had to be a cool off for everyone, especially one on a Saturday night.

“Please pick up” I say quietly as I put a call through for the third time, she wasn’t answering and I could understand, after avoiding her like a jealous fool in love without giving her a reason she would definitely hate me. I decided to send her a text message.

“hey, where are you?”

I was waiting for a response when I realized the message had not been delivered yet. I wondered where she was and what she was doing. I made a mistake. I always act so foolish when it comes to love. I should have confronted her about who that guy was and confessed my feelings to her.

“Why are you so worked up? Are you fine?” that voice, how did she find me. I looked back to see Ladi and I could feel my heart beat so fast, I hate this feeling. I really loved this girl. She looked so beautiful. She had a short beautiful black dress on.

“Ladi” I said, smiling and staring like I had been hypnotized

“Are you okay” she asked anxiously again

“Yeah, I am. You’re here” I wrapped my arms around her, I missed this beautiful soul. What she made me feel was pure, and peaceful. Like solace.

“I’m sorry, I missed you” I said as we parted.

“Right, you ignored me for two weeks and this is all you could come up with?” she replied

I thought about not telling her why I avoided her, didn’t want her to see me as a weak person but then I decided to. I really didn’t want her to stop talking to me again.

“I was mad at you. I got your text while a family friend who lived beside my house back at home came over to my hostel to give me a package my mum had sent and then I thought to see her off to her hostel so I could call you out to talk, then half way through I see you with some guy who happened to be all over you” the thought of them together made me so mad

“What!!!, I felt the same way seeing you with that girl too, that guy is just someone who likes me, but I do not like him back and I already made that clear to him” she said

Now I had a lot going through my mind, he liked her, what the hell was his problem. She shouldn’t ever speak to him again

“Tell him you have a boyfriend” I said before I realized I was going too far. This jealousy might be the end of me. If she was my girlfriend he wasn’t allowed to even look at her.

“I mean, just to put him off” I added, so I don’t seem desperate

“Oh, there isn’t a need for that, I don’t like him. So you have nothing to worry about”

“Wait, are you jealous” she laughed out loud

“No, I just want you to be safe and yeah, maybe a little bit of jealousy” I replied

I watched her smile as I stared, she was beautiful in and out and the innocence in her voice was everything.

“I like you so much, and I don’t ever want to stop talking to you again” I had a lot more to say and ask for but I felt like asking for anything more would be too much at this time and I was pretty sure she felt the same way.

“I like you too, so much Michael, and I want you to always be there for me. I know for a fact I will always be here and I won’t go anywhere, and our feelings probably isn’t strong enough for a relationship which is a good thing because all these emotions might distract us from our main focus which is school, so maybe when we are done. I would want us to build our relationship as friends for now, that way when we start a relationship we’ll be more than just lovers”

She wasn’t just beautiful, she was smart. She was different from every girl, and had goals too. I understood her point perfectly. I find it very hard to control my emotions, if we were to start a relationship I might give all my focus to her and not too much on school.

“Okay, I agree, and yes, I promise I will always be here” I said to her.