Chapter 74: Alejandro's Pov

Two weeks later.

The days are passing by in blurs, and I'm pathetically living through them, wishing that she'll come back to me. But she won't. She's happy these days.

Her laughter is louder, her eyes happier. And I hate myself everytime I find myself leaning my ear against their door, desperate for when she laughs again.

I'm pathetic, I know.

I'm a fool for falling for a selfish woman.

And then that brother of mine. . . his change is so sudden. He's become such a good man, a gentle man. A man who doesn't hit her anymore, a man who holds doors open for her, buy her flowers. . . a man who learnt to cook her breakfast.

And then suddenly, she's receptive to these kinds of gestures.

Her eyes never shined so brightly when I cooked her meals and held doors open for her. But she's like a giddy child with my brother. . . her husband.

Her husband; laughable.

What am I even doing here?

Why am I still here?

Why does she insist that I must remain in this house when she has no use for me?

Fuck Mariana for doing this to me.

Fuck Radimr for doing this to me.

Everyday, I watch them and I wish he'll just become cruel to her, treat her badly just so she can run back into my arms and let me love her. I know, I'm a big fucking fool for wanting that.

I'm a big fucking fool. Always have been, always will be.

But I love her, so fucking much. I want her to love me, to choose me for once without needing a compelling force.

I watch absentmindedly as the maids set up the table. It's not enough that Mariana and Radimr has subjected me to fourteen days of emotional torture, now he's hosting a get together in her name?

Fucking piece of shit.

The entire estate soon fills with a fleet of sleek black SUV's, the elders of our family filling the hall one by one, their smiles, shakes and curt nods robotic.

They know not to talk to me.

I sit off to the side, as far away from their circle as possible, gulping glass after glass of wine. Fucking wine. Couldn't they at least make available something stronger?

Another glass finds its way into my hand. I don't even know when it got there. But I drink.

Mariana walks in with him, her arm lightly hooked in Radimr's, her smile small but glowing like a candle in a dark room. Everyone watches her. The men nod their approval. Radimr looks smug, his chest puffed out, his hand resting too comfortably on her back.

I look down at my glass, swirling what's left inside. Maybe if I don't look at her, it'll stop hurting. Maybe if I drink enough, I'll stop feeling entirely.

But it doesn't work. It never works.

Radimr gestures for everyone to sit, his tone commanding but calm. The men obey, sliding into their seats with the kind of discipline that comes from years of following orders.

I sit too, my stomach churning as Mariana takes her place beside him at the head of the table. She fits there now, like she belongs.

Radimr raises his glass, his voice cutting through the room. "To my wife," he says, his Russian accent thick. "For bringing light into my life."

The men lift their glasses, murmuring their agreement. I don't move. My hand stays clenched around my drink, my throat burning as I swallow what's left of it.

"And," Radimr continues, his voice louder now, "for the new life she carries within her."

The room falls silent. My heart stops.

No one says a word at first. Then, as if on cue, the men raise their glasses higher, offering congratulations in their low, gruff tones.

I don't hear them. I can't. All I hear is the sound of my glass shattering as it slips from my hand and crashes to the floor.

I feel their gazes on me, burning. I blink and drag in a sniff. One of the maids is standing close by, too close I can feel the heat of her body radiating. I loathe. My gun is out before I know it, and I empty what's left in my chamber on her.

It startles everyone in the room. Mariana and her darling husband too.

"No guns are allowed!" Radimr growls, rising to his feet, "this is a happy occasion, goddammit!"

"Then sit your fucking ass down and be happy, brother." I reply, my voice reluctant.

I don't wait for his fucking loud mouth before getting on my feet and walking away. Maybe some fresh air will suffice.

I'm stumbling through the garage, making to get to my car when I hear soft murmurs in the hidden corner. I don't quite make out what is being discussed, so I move closer.

I hear her unmistakable voice. Mariana. . . she's desperately whispering things to a middle aged woman, handing her stacks of cash.

"You have to do this for me," Mariana says to the hesitant woman.

"But he'll know. By the time you deliver the child, he'll be sure to do the maths." The woman argues.

"Aren't you a doctor? Even I know it's possible to give birth earlier or even later than expected," Mariana says, her voice growing more desperate. Almost as if she intends to kill the woman if she continues refusing.

But that doesn't happen. The woman takes the cash and agrees. "Be careful, Maria," she says. Then she spins and a loud gasp falls from her throat when she sees me.

"It's fine, doctor Martha," Mariana says behind the woman, urging her to leave. She does.

And my mind starts to reel. Doctor. It's possible to give birth earlier or later than expected-the words ring in the back of my mind and realization dawns.

I take a staggering step forward, my eyes dropping to her stomach then back to her face. Mariana gulps and shifts back, my mouth opening and closing.

"What did I ever do to you?" I ask, my breathing becoming shallow pants. "What evil have I done against you that you take my child and make it another man's?"

She doesn't answer, simply stares at me with wide eyes.

"Answer me!" I growl.

"Stop screaming except you want to get us both killed," she whispers, her tone pleading.

"You think I care about dying? You think I care if you drop dead and die?"

Her head shakes and hot tears spill. She quickly wipes it away, muttering, "I guess I deserve that. . ." then her tone hardens, "if you don't care for me or yourself, then at least consider your child."

When the words leave her, she sidesteps me, hoping to run as she's always done. I don't let her. My fingers curl around her forearm in a tight grip before she makes it far.

"Did you know? Did you know about the pregnancy. . . before deciding to come back to him?" I ask, my voice shaking, my heart fearful for the answer I'll get.

"Yes." She answers, her voice firm.

A gasp falls free from my throat and my blood runs cold. "How could you?" The words tumble out of my mouth sorrowfully. "You carry my child and put him in danger, you let my child be around that monster. You share a fucking bed with him!"

"Keep your fucking voice down!" she yells. "Do you think this is easy for me, that I like this situation?"

I laugh lowly. "With the way your laughter echoes, I'm sure you're having a thrill."

For a moment, silence stretches. She trembles with a sob, her chest quaking, her body heaving. I almost hold her, console her. I don't. I won't.

"He tortured me. . ." she starts, her voice barely audible, suppressed by the weight of her sobs. "Five months, Alejandro, he held me and made a mess of me. He didn't stop there. . . he tortured my brother, and then killed my best friend, wreaked havoc in the lives of the people I love. Look what he did to you."

She chuckles, shaking her head. "I'm not very forgiving, Alejandro. I don't forgive. And have you forgotten what I told you? My promise to you?"

"Not at the expense of your safety, Maria. Not at the expense of my child's safety."

"What about me, don't you care about me anymore, my yellow? Don't you love me anymore."

I look away and tears escape from my eyes, my body shaking. I'm suddenly realizing that she's just as desperate as I am, she wants me as much as I want her. But I cannot forget her humiliation, I cannot forgive the fact that she chose her desire over her family, her brother, me.

She might preach revenge, but I know greed stands in front for her.

"Do you let him fuck you? Does he sleep with you while you grow my child?"

Her answer doesn't come immediately. There's hesitation. Then she answers, "Just once. The day we returned."

I stumble, choking on my breath.

"It had to happen for him to be convinced that this child is his!" She yells desperately.

'You're so fucking disgusting, Mariana." I breathe.

The words barely leave me when a thundering sound echoes. The back of her palm thunder against my cheek and my head veers to the side. "Did you forget?" She asks, "did you fucking forget? Did you suddenly forget your first words to me the first day we met? 'Just imagine it, Maria. I can see it playing out and it's funny as fuck. You bearing my children, my brother's deluded mind convincing him that he's so blessed to have a complete family whilst all I'll do while he sleeps is fuck his wife into oblivion and kiss my children goodnight. Fucking amazing.' This has always been your desire, and I'm suddenly disgusting because you fell in love while playing your sick games?"

"Mariana!"

"You will wait!" She roars, "you will watch and wait until my plans unfold. You will be here, kiss your child goodnight, kiss me goodnight, and be a good father. You will shut your mouth and simply exist. And the day you choose otherwise, is the day you breathe your last."

She turns around and walks away. Leaving me to battle with my demons.