Chapter 9: Chapter Nine

"Alice, would you please take your earphones out and pay attention?" My Maths teacher, Miss Kaye snapped. I scowled at her in response and continued playing my music fall blare. There was no way I was taking my earphones out, not for her anyway.

"I won't tell you again, Alice." She warned in a firm voice. Oh wow, I'm so scared.

Slowly, I unplugged my earphones from my ears and crossed my ears over my chest as I lazily sunk down into my chair. "Or what? What are you gonna do?"

Miss Kaye gave me piercing eyes and placed her hands on her hips. Fuck me, she really did think she owned those whole school at times. As if I was going to be afraid of some Maths teacher!

"Well, if you don't do as I say, you’ll be sent out of the classroom. Simple as."

I shrugged and gave a fair look of honesty, "Fair enough." With that I plugged my earphones back into my ears and went back to scrolling through my playlist. "Alice!?!" I heard her yell over the music but of course I couldn't hear her well enough to know what she was really saying.

Before I knew it, she walked over to me like a fucking vicious cat and tore them out of my ears. "Get out!!"

"Thank god for that! I thought I was gonna have to sit in this shit whole for the rest of the day!" I sang happily which annoyed her even further. Before she could say another word, I took my earphones from her hand and stormed out of the classroom, slamming the door on my way out. You know what they say, there's nothing like slamming a door when making an exit.

I spent the rest of my Maths lesson just standing outside the classroom as Miss Kaye refused to let me back in. Good, I didn't want to go back in! I leaned against the wall and sighed in boredom, I'm sorry, but I get bored...I felt as if I had to cause some sort of trouble. It gave me pleasure. So, I began shouting out the lyrics of my music as my earphones blared loudly down my ears. "Cause' this is my heartbeat song and I'm gonna play it, feel so alone and I'm gonna take it up, up, up, up!!!" I sang freely, screaming the fucking school down. "ALL NIGHT LONG!!! UP, UP, UP!! ALL NIGHT LONG!!"

Then suddenly I was interrupted by a loud slam of a classroom door. I turned to see who it was as my earphones continued to blare into my ear. Even the fucking teachers in the classroom could hear the loud tinning of my earphones. I didn't give a shit.

"Alice!! Alice Copper!!" The teacher from another classroom, shouted who slammed their door. I ignored them and continued yelling out the lyrics to Heartbeat by Kelly Clarkson.

The teacher obviously gave up and ran to the Maths office to call out BIP.

"THIS IS MY HEARTBEAT SONG AND IM GONNA PLAY IT, BEEN SO LONG AND IM GONNA TURN IT UP, UP, UP!!! ALL NIGHT LONG!!!" I yell as loud as I can! God, I'm going for it this morning!!

Then, before I can acknowledge the contact or movement, I feel two hands grab my shoulder. My earphones are gently removed from my ears and now I can only hear the slight tinting echo of the blaring music. I feel breath against my ear, and I feel myself tense.

"Miss Copper, you're causing a scene," That soft familiar voice brought the ultimate music to my ears that I had been dying to hear. I turned around to face the one and only, Mr Dubens. "Oh, hello sir!!" I sang happily. "And what are you doing in the most boring mathematical block of the school when you could be somewhere far more fucking better!!!" I sang loudly to piss off all the other Maths teachers who were now peering through their classroom doors.

Mr Dubens smirked in amusement at me. I think I really did entertain him at times. He pressed his lips into a thin line as if he was trying to ball up a bag of laughing gas. "Miss Copper, I think we should take this somewhere else." He suggested. I shrugged and laughed, "Oh, don't worry sir, It would be a pleasure!" I yelled purposely. Mr Dubens looked down at me with humour dancing wildly in his eyes. "Ok, come with me Miss Copper. We can have a chat."

With that I followed him out of the Maths blocks and out to the school grounds where the AstroTurf was and the football field.

"So, Alice...what's going on?" Mr Dubens began as we both sat down on one of the benches by the field fences. I shrugged unknowingly, "Well, apart from being trapped in a shit whole of a school...nothing really." He chuckled lightly at my sarcasm, "Your Maths teacher rang your head of year, Mrs Burnette about your disruptive behaviour, and Mrs Burnette contacted me to deal with you. Since it's down to me." He murmured the last part almost to himself.

"What? What do you mean it's down to you?" I asked. Then, I remembered the conversation I overheard last week between Mr Dubens, Mrs Burnette and Mr Gates.

"I had a chat with your head of year and told her I could help you," He began on a steady tone as I nodded for him to continue. "...well, she has decided to take action and remove you from the school. If you carry on the way you are, you could lose your place in this school. So, I told Mrs Burnette that I could stop that from happening, I can change you and motivate you." I didn't respond, instead I just stared at him.

Mr Dubens continued, "You always tend to misbehave, and your lessons don't always go down very well, but...that lesson, where I helped you write your poem...I saw a different side to you. I saw the way you trailed off in thought, you were so motivated and into it. I could see pure talent in you, but you don't realise it."

I breathed shakily and looked down at the ground as I crossed my legs. "Sir..." I began softly, "That's...that's so nice of you." I replied fully as I smiled sheepishly. Mr Dubens smiled in response. A young boyish smile that lifted me up and through the clouds. I felt like laughing in happiness but bursting out into tears at the same time. I was a mix of emotions; I didn't know how to feel about what he had said. He seemed so nice but not very true.

"Sir, are you sure you're talking to the right girl?" I giggled slightly and he could see my hesitation about his previous compliment.

"Most definitely. There's only one Alice Copper." He smiled softly.

"Thank you, Sir but...I'm sorry. I don't think I can except your help." I whispered. I peeked up and his eyes rows creased in confusion, "Why not?" He asked.

"It's too late for that shit. I'm too messed up for anyone to help me, I mean, what's the point? My life is ruined. End of."

He had a sad expression once I said that, but I couldn't help it! It was true! The past was the past! No one had given me the time of day before and Mr Dubens, as kind as what he is, gave his time to me. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, but it was too late to lend a helping hand and pretend everything was going to be alright.

"Alice." He sighed in a hopeful tone. "Why can't you see it?"

"See what?"

"Your potential. Your beauty. Your true self. Everything." He gestured his hand towards me. I blushed but then immediately shook it off. God, what was he doing to me? None of this was true, even if it was, it was a little be too honest. I couldn't handle it.

"Please, don't." I pursed my lips, glancing down at my knotted fingers in my lap.

"It's true. You don't seem to see it." He inched closer to me. Before I could say anything, I felt his hand reach my cheek and his thumb began to lightly caress my skin. I bit down on my lip as I leaned my face further into his touch. God, this was too much. What was he even implying? Was I going insane? This couldn't be happening.

"Can I see the scars again?" He asked all of a sudden. In that moment I felt as if my breath had suddenly speeded up and my chest began to heave. Why? Why did he want to see the scars again? Really and truly, I didn't particularly want to get them out but since he asked kindly, I considered it.

Hesitantly, I opened my eyes, our stares meeting one another. "Please?" He begged softly. I breathed and nodded as I pull my hoodie sleeve up to my elbow, follow by my blazer sleeve underneath it.

Before I could change my mind, my scars were freely exposed in front of him. He slowly pulled his hand away from my cheek as he had stopped caressing it. Slowly and ever so gentle, he took my arm into his hand. Unsure of himself, he examined them, his eyes looking up and down my entire expose arm. "Are these the only scars you have?"

I shook my head, "I have one large one on my neck and more on my other arm."

"Why?" He looked up at me, his eyes demanding and intense. I gulped and averted my gaze, "I...I self-harm." I whispered. His eyebrows creased. He seemed between the line of anger and the unit of sadness. I didn't know what he was about to say next but whatever it was, I wasn't too keen on hearing it.

"Why would you do this to yourself, Alice?" He asked shockingly.

"I... I don't know. I suppose it makes me feel better. When I'm sad, I do it." I shrugged as I also did, in my helpless state. He sighed and went to my left arm, pulling the sleeve up of my hoodie, followed by my blazer sleeve. The scars were worser on my left arm because I was right-handed so therefore, I always went for me left. I can't scar well with my left hand, so I always scar with my right as it's just more natural to me.

"Jesus Christ, Alice. How can you do this? Does this give you pleasure?"

I nodded as I considered it in my head. Yes, pleasure, I suppose you could call it that. After all, I feel so much better after I've done it. "I guess you could call it that." I scoffed lightly. "What do you use?" He asked as he lightly traced each scar with his thumb. I bit my lip hard as he did so. "Alice!?" He prompted in a demanding voice.

"Err...I... I use scissors mostly. Sometimes I use a needle." I licked my lip as I watched his thumb run over each and every one. It sounds weird, but it felt nice, someone touching my scars. Because it was him, I felt I could freely show them off in front of him. Now, being said, it was as difficult as what I had feared.

"Why do you do it? Seriously. What is the reason?" He asked with a half demanding yet begging voice.

I bit harder on my lip and shook my head as his eyes worked their way up to mine. "It's...it's really complicated."

"How is it? Just tell me. I could help you, Alice."

I shook my head and pulled both my sleeves down. He tried keeping a firm grip around my arm but failed as I harshly snatched my arm away from his reach. "Enough." I snapped. "Stop it. Please."

"Please, tell me Alice." He begged, edging closer to me as he reached up to caress me cheek as before. I shook my head in determination, "No. It's....complicated. Private. I don't want to."

"I just want to help you, Alice. Please let me help you."

"I don't need your fucking help!" I snapped, pushing his hand away from me cheek. I didn't want his fuss; I didn't want anyone's fuss. I was someone who deserved to be on their own in this world. No one else. Just me.

I uncrossed my legs, about to stand up when his hands reached out and grabbed my waist, pulling me back down onto the bench. "You need my help more than you think." He whispered into my ear and my body suddenly melted in his hands. My waist tingled at his slight touch, the way his soft hold turned into a possessive grip. In a way I loved it but the other side of me felt hesitant and afraid. It seemed that this meant bad news.

"No, I don't." I scoffed. I was determined to not give in. I must admit, it wasn't easy. Not when a hot looking man so much older than you has his hands on your body. At times he was so intimidating yet so soft and boyish. It was kind of sweet in its own way.

"Oh, yes you do, Miss Copper." He sang teasingly. Before I could reply his hands began to slither their way up my body, past my hips, to my waist until they were under my arms. Then, ever so quickly his grabbed my arms and twirled me round to face him.

I gasped as he did this and my breath came out fast, causing my face to flush.

"Let's make a deal. You let me help you and I'll give you what you want." He said in a demanding tone, his eyes digging deeply into mine. I crossed my arms over my chest, a smug look built in my face. "And what exactly do I want?"

He smiled his sexy boyish smile followed by a seductive whisper. "Me."