Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Four
I wake up the following morning. Grogginess instantly sleeps through me and I groan, nearly forgetting about Mason's sleeping body beside me. I quickly look over to him, feeling conscious about my morning appearance. I should get myself ready before he wakes, I look such a mess in the mornings.

Mason's body laid there, his arms folded behind his neck, leaving his bare chest on show. I watched as his stomach would slowly rise and fall with each breath. His lips were slightly parted and pale looking. Admittedly, I had never watched Mason sleeping before. I had never really took any notice of him in this way. This new, unfamiliar way.


His eyes twitched a little as he let out a light snore. Mason wasn't exactly the loud snoring type, which tends to be unusual for males I suppose, but it took me back to how well I could sleep with Mason during Haven Holidays. He was such a quiet sleeper. The sound of his soft breathing always brought me some kind of comfort.
It takes me a few more minutes to realise I'm daydreaming about our past memories, and I have to mentally slap myself out of the trance. Mason will be awake soon and I have to look at least half decent.

Begrudgingly, I stand up from the bed, feel my shoulders instantly tensing up around my neck. I can feel my muscles going into spasms all at once, struggling to adapt to my sudden movements. I slowly walk around the bed and towards the miniature built-in bathroom beside the front door. I spend about a good ten to fifteen minutes washing my face and teeth, followed by a quick brush of the hair and tie up techniques to keep it off my face.

Despite the brief pamper session, I still felt really rough so I left the bathroom with coffee in mind as my other solution to my laggy mood.
As I walk across the room, I hear a deep groan following by a creaking sound from the bed. Without looking over, I get the sense Mason has woken.

"Morning." I hear him yawn deeply, which is then followed by the usual sounds of his morning stretches and fake sounds of pain that he actually secretly enjoys.
"Morning, sleepy head." I respond lightly, pouring myself a coffee.
"When did we go sleep last night?"
"About midnight more or less..." I say uncertainly.

"Hm." Mason simply responds with a hint of sarcasm, which I believe I detect. I decide against commenting on it. I have too much to worry about getting us both back down to Mum who is no doubt still in a frenzy about Mason even being here like this.
"Any nice dreams?" Mason asks as I raise my cup of coffee to my lips. I pause.
"Not really," I shrug. "Don't remember having a dream."
"Oh. I had one."
"Oh really? What about?" I ask, sipping at the coffee. I look over at him to find a wide smirk planted across his face.
"You."

I roll my eyes at him. "Mason, leave it now. I wanna get my head around things. Please." I say calmly, placing my cup down at my desk.
"Really? We're back to this again!?" He exclaims, catching me off guard. When I look towards him, his face is filled with what I can only describe as shock.

"I-I'm sorry, it's just-" I begin but Mason cuts me off before I can begin to explain.
"No! You let us do all that last night, letting me practically play with you, enjoyed the pleasure and everything... and now...now you are telling me to 'leave it now' because you want to 'get your head around things'!?" By the time he is finished, his face has grown slightly red and his lips part, his breath coming out short. He seems as though he has obviously worn himself out with his sudden outburst.
"Mason...I didn't mean to offend you." I say lowly, rubbing my forehead as I begin to feel a wave of distress wash over me. He is right. He must feel so used right now.
"Yeah, well you did. BIG TIME." He exclaims, throwing is hands in the ear. I have to admit this is the most enthusiast I have seen Mason act in a long time. "Calm down ok. There is so much you don't know understand right now. I need time. Please." I find myself pleading with him judging by my unintentional weak tone of voice. Mason must notice as his eyes slowly begin to soften and his mouth slowly closes.

"Fine..." He finally says.
"Fine?"
"Yes. I guess..."
I pick my cup up once again, taking about sip quickly before setting it back down. "I am not using you if that is what you are thinking." I say lowly, feeling cautious of what to say at this point.
Mason cocks one eyebrow as if he is attempting to look like a older and wise man. "Using me? Oh no. I just feel you are incapable of knowing what you want in life."

"Excuse me!?" I step towards the bad, gaping at him.
"Well, you don't. Alana, you haven't known what you have wanted since the fucking day you stepped into a classroom!" Mason sits up, whipping the covers of his body.
"What is that suppose to mean?" I have no idea what to think at this point.
"It MEANS that Mum has always pushed you into what she thinks you SHOULD be. It has never been what you WANTED."

"I don't understand..." my voice breaks.
Mason rolls his eyes at me. "Oh smell the coffee Alana, you have become too use to begin controlled by Mum."

"What!?"

"Admit it! You don't even WANT to study Science! It is just want Mum and Dad wanted you to do!" His voice raises by the minute, his eyes burning into me. I feel every bit of truth seeping from his words, although I have believed that impressing parents is far more important than fulfilling your own pleasures.

"Mason," I begin, my eyes slowly closing as I attempt to stay calm despite his anger filling the room. "I am quite happy doing what I am doing." Once I open my eyes, he is sitting on the end of the bed, staring up at me with a stunned expression. "Are you going to seriously continue to lie to yourself?" He asks in a more calmer tone. "How long are you going to keep this up?"

"I like Science. I always have...?" I say in almost a whisper. I'm surprised if Mason had even heard me properly. I realise I'm asking the question myself, now placed in a situation of uncertainty.

"Are you sure about that?" Mason pushes and he stands up in front of me, his body towering over me. "You don'r even know yourself. Do you?"

I slowly look up at him, feeling the tears emerging in my eyes. No. Don't let him see you cry. Why is he even bring all this up? Why does he always do this?

"Why do you always have to do this?" I let out, failing to hide my weak voice.

"Because I know you more than you know yourself. You need me, Alana." He whispers, his face leaning closer towards me and I take a step back, my hide hitting the corner of my student desk. "M-mason. S-stop." I finally break, balling into tears. I place my hands of my face, desperate to shield my vulnerable appearance from him.

I feel Mason's hands clasp around my wrists, pulling them down from face. "Hey, don't cry ok? This is a good thing. This is when you take control of your life."

"Don't Mason. Please stop trying to alter my life just so it can fit yours." I sob, shaking my head frantically.

"Alana, I'm not trying to change your life. I want you to correct it, and not allow Mum and Dad to ruin it. You aren't our parents. You are you."

I sigh, wiping at me eyes and stepping around him to reach the bed. "But you always do this. You have this way of just trying to tear my life to pieces. One minute you got me to believe in this absurd chemistry we have, and then next minute you also want me to change all what I've spent years building my life on!" I exclaim, my voice breaking at the very end with the hint of obvious desperation. I'm silently praying that Mason can hear the desperation I am trying to voice.

"Alana..." He begins. "I care so much about you."

"Oh my goodness." I scoff, and throw my head into my ears, trying to get my mind around his behaviour this morning. "You are being so delusional! You don't even know the half of it!"

"T-the half what?" I hear him say, his voice becoming closer, confusion evident in his tone. No Alana, don't tell him. Not yet. Not like this. I need to remember it is up to Mum and Dad to tell him the truth about his life. I cannot possibly think I have any right to take my parents chance right out of their hands and throw the truth right into Mason's face. This whole situation has now become beyond baffling, and I now cannot begin to even imagine how Mason is going to get his own head around this let alone myself.

"Alana?" I hear him say, his hand nudging my arm, attempting to shake me out of my trance of deep thinking.

"Mmm..." I left my head up, all energy draining from me in this one moment, my eyes fixating on the wall behind Mason.

"The half of what?" I hear him repeat and I feel his hands clasp around my wrists once again, slowly tightening but not tight enough to gain a reaction from me. For the first time ever, I actually feel completely and utterly numb.

I don't think I want to continue this conversation with him. This whole room has become a complete danger zone and I need to escape as soon as possible. With this in mind, I stand up and walk towards the door.

"Alana, where are you going!?" Mason shouts from behind me but it sound so distant. So unimportant. I feel drained of all my remaining thoughts, feeling and senses. I don't understand anything anymore in this moment. Although, I don't think I want to.

I reach the door and pull anxiously at the handle, feeling the humid air of the corridor hit my skin. I can hear Mason's footsteps from behind me, getting quicker and louder. I bolt out of the room and progress in a run, my legs working as fast as they possibly can. I have no idea why I am running but fear and desperation fills my veins, interrogating me to run as fast as I possibly can. Mason's voice behind me becomes more distant by each breath I let out with each thud I hear of my bare feet. I quickly glance over my shoulder. Mason is standing in the corridor, his arms hanging loosely at his sides. He seems so helpless, his lips are parted and moving but somehow I can no longer hear him. Everything is block out. The corridor begins to spin furiously around me, introducing the sensation of a boat and I lose the capability of obtaining my balance.



I fall...