Chapter 1 — Taco Tuesdays

Violet.

I sat alone at the farthest table in the corner, reading a book and picking at the sad school lunch the foster home packed. A baloney sandwich and a bruised apple. As a rule, I didn’t eat cafeteria food, but once in a while I splurged on a chocolate chip cookie or three. They were decent enough.

Samantha- or Sam- fellow foster kid and extraordinary loud mouth– was different. She was obsessed over Weber High’s tacos. My girl never could never decide which she loved more: the gooey cheese or the greasy meat.

Yuck either way.

The only upside about sitting in the cafeteria on Tuesdays instead of my normal haunt in the library, was David Madden. Or rather the view of him and all his glory from my chair at the loser table.

Tall. Dark hair. Deep blue eyes. David was the star quarterback of the football team and the most popular guy in school. Gorgeous and charming, he was in another realm from most people.

That meant that he was completely unattainable for an introvert like me.

Like most girls and even some guys, I couldn’t help stealing glances at him. He sat at the popular table with the jocks at one end and the cheerleaders at the other, talking loudly and telling jokes. When he walked through the halls, kids parted like the Red Sea from the glow of his self-assurance.

Good looks, rich parents, a slick car, David had it all. Dude slid through life like a baseball player determined to win the World Series.

I didn't have such swagger. I faded into the background like a ghost through a wall. But that didn't matter. Soon, I would finally be free of this place. I just had to continue to be the quiet, forgettable girl (mostly) everyone ignored. I learned long ago that any risk of standing out only led to pain.

Still, despite my efforts to disappear, I couldn't help indulging in hopeless daydreams where David actually noticed me as more than just a nerd. In my fantasies, he saw me as something more than the shy wallflower in our shared math class. One day, I hoped that he would-

Someone snickered, pulling me out of my thoughts. I knew better, but I looked up anyway. Sure enough, at the popular table, a few cheerleaders had their eyes on me. Some glared. Others whispered. Their fearless leader, Jasmine, wasn’t in attendance, but I braced myself for when she would be.

As if sensing my unabashed ogling of David, one of the cheerleaders had said something that made the others erupt in mean giggles.

Heat flushed my cheeks. I sighed and lowered my gaze back to my book. Minutes ticked by, and once again, I lost myself in the pages as the hero of my story got down on one knee and took the hand of his lady love. Lifting it to his lips, he said–

A hard bump to my chair fumbled the book out of my hands. It landed in a mess of pages on my lap.

“Hey loser,” Jasmine sneered, amber eyes narrowed. There she was. In all her glory. Her luxurious red hair done up in a high pony that pranced as she shifted her slender weight on her heels.

The principal paid lip service to the zero-tolerance policy of bullying, wagging his finger at Jasmine and warning her to lay off. A meaningless slap on the wrist when we all knew nothing would actually change.

Jasmine gave him her best angelic eyes, promising she didn't have a mean bone in her body. What a joke.

That was like a hangnail telling the hand it wouldn’t cause pain.

Jasmine knew the drill. That was why she kept her voice loud enough for only me, and her clique surrounding the table, to hear. Those girls, muscle in disguise, functioned as sentries, cutting off the cafeteria monitor from the torment I was about to suffer.

“Love your blouse,” Jasmine mocked, reaching out to pinch the blue fabric between two long, manicured nails. “Did you dig it out of the dumpster?” The other girls tittered while my good mood vanished. David, a few tables over, was oblivious. With his back to me, he was deep in conversation with his teammates.

I sat frozen, unsure how to respond. After years of her torment, I knew reacting only made it worse. But the humiliation still stung deeply.

Jasmine gave me a fake smile. “Aww, quiet as ever I see. What’s wrong, freak got your tongue?” She cackled as if she’d said something terribly clever.

I stared down at my lap, willing myself not to cry as the sting of Jasmine’s insults hit me. Don’t give her the satisfaction, I told myself.

Loud footsteps approached- Sam carrying a tray and coming in fast. Jasmine must have noticed her as with a flip of her pony, she and her thugs sashayed away, leaving only her ridicule of me behind.

I took a deep, shaky breath, trying to calm my rattled nerves. It was over, for today at least. I just had to make it through lunch without any more incidents.

Sam arrived and plopped down across from me, slightly out of breath. Like Jasmine, she had red hair, though several shades darker and a smattering of freckles across her nose. Her deep green eyes reminded me of moss. The kind that looked either hard or soft depending on the lighting... or her mood.

“Sorry I’m late,” she said breathlessly. “Mr. Davis kept me after class to lecture me about my essay.” She popped open her carton of chocolate milk and inserted the straw. “Was Jasmine bothering you?” Unlike me, Jasmine didn’t bully Sam. She knew better.

I gave her a wan smile. “Nothing I can’t handle. How’s your day going besides your essay troubles?”

She shrugged. “Oh, the usual. Just trying to survive at good old Weber High,” she deadpanned.

We were both foster kids, bouncing between homes since we were young. Sam was the more outspoken of us two, but we looked out for each other.

“Hey, at least it’s almost the weekend,” I said, trying not to stare at the cheese piled high on her tacos. “Are we still going to see that movie Saturday? It’s my turn to pay.”

Sam and I worked at the only grocery store in Weber Falls, Murphy’s Market, on the weekends. It was part time, and except for the occasional movie, we saved every penny to move the moment we graduated.

We dreamed of packing up my beat-up car and driving out of this suffocating small town, headed for the big city. No more group home, no more bullies, no more judgmental stares–we’d reinvent ourselves someplace where no one knew our past. A fresh start, a new life full of art, music, culture...and no Jasmine in sight.

I knew it was a naïve fantasy - the real world was full of its own challenges. But anything had to be better than being trapped in Weber Falls, population five thousand three hundred and one. I was desperate to experience something more, to find out who I could be away from here. Just a few more months of enduring, then Sam and I could shake off the dust of this place.

“I’m so looking forward to it!” Sam said, bouncing on her seat. “I’ve been dying to see it. Since I picked up an extra shift last week, we can splurge on popcorn too. Double butter!”

I laughed, already cheered up at the thought of a fun night out with my friend. But then a roar of laughter drowned out my own. David had moved to the end of the table. Using his hands to describe some scene, he was cracking up his teammates with his story. The brilliant smile on his face made my heart skip a beat.

Noticing my stare, Sam gave me a knowing look. “Checking out Mr. Popular again, huh?”

I blushed furiously and ducked my head. “No! Just...wondering what they’re laughing about.”

“Uh huh, sure,” she said with a smirk. “Too bad Jasmine would shred you to pieces if she caught you looking.” Sad, but true. Jasmine had been after him for years. Just like every other girl in school. Sure, he’d dated around, but no one ever stuck.

“I can only hope to be the one,” I thought, smiling to myself.

I snuck another glance at David, but quickly lowered my eyes when Jasmine turned in my direction.

Sam was right - David was from a totally different world than me. But my thoughts of him kept me going. Those fleeting moments where everything seemed like it could fall into place were all I had. That was why I allowed myself to daydream that David could be mine. Without the hope of it, how could I endure until graduation?