It was safe to say that I was not emotionally stable the night that I was supposed to fight. But I don’t really have a choice, do I?
I was standing right beside the stairs that led to the fighting ring, the crowd’s roars ringing in my ears. It repulsed me how excited they were to watch such violence and it repulsed me even more when I remembered I was providing them that entertainment. It made my stomach churn but I quickly got a grip of myself. I’ve made the decision that I can’t let myself get killed. Too much was at stake. I was so close to having my family and all the people I love within safety. I just needed to beat Cole. But I have to climb my way up that ladder first; by fighting every guy I have to fight to get there.
I needed to do whatever it took. Anyone who took a good look at me would see how unstable I was. The scorning looks I got from the woman who called me out from the dressing room was proof of that. She didn't think I’d make it through the night. But I had to. There was no other choice for me.
I tried to calm myself, to push the thoughts that seemed like it was drilled into my head aside and focus on the fight.
When my name was called out, I shook my hands lightly and exhaled a puff of air, pretending it was all of my worries. I steeled my expression as best as I could. I’m going to win this fight.
I stopped short in front of my opponent and was shocked to see a woman this time. Throughout my time in this competition, I have yet to see another female competitor. To finally meet one. So close to the semi-finals was surprising. The woman smirked at the sight of my leaner figure. Her body was all muscles and she was probably half a foot taller than me. She was definitely to the bulkier.
She flexed her arm, I’m guessing was a move made to intimidate me.
Her cockiness was going to be her downfall. I would’ve thought that being a woman, she’d know better than to underestimate someone of a smaller size than you. She was bulky but she didn’t hold a candle beside the male competitors.
The bell rung and she stood back on her heels. She beckoned me with her finger and a smug smirk with one of her eyebrows raised cockily.
I gave her a deadpan look and barreled straight into her. I nailed her on the midriff and pushed her as hard as I could to slam her on to the ring’s hard floor. I straddled her body and started punching. I started aiming at her nose and she started covering her temples after I got a few blows in. Out of nowhere, she had a death grip on my left shoulder with her right hand and yanked me to my right. I ended up rolling off her with my back glued to the floor and she was the one on top now.
I elbowed her thighs on either side of me and wrestled my legs out from under her to gain the upper hand.
I crossed my ankles to lock my feet around her waist and yanked her back with my legs when she was about to punch me, making her miss.
When I noticed her losing her balance after she missed her shot, I yanked her forward again to punch her square in the face. I yanked her back before she could get back at me for that punch. I repeated this a couple more times to maximize the damage I can put in on her before she can figure out my rhythm and wrestle her way out.
After having my fun of yanking her back and forth like a rag doll, I grabbed her shoulders. I planted my foot on her midriff before throwing her over my head. I got to my feet as quickly as possible to put the much-needed distance between us for me to be safe.
Her eyes narrowed at me as she scrambled up to stand on her two feet. There was a trail of blood trickling out of her nose. A bruise was forming on her left cheek and her eyes were getting swollen. I did quite the number on her.
I could see the anger in her eyes when we locked eyes and it reminded me of my own when I looked into the mirror this morning. Anger that was coated with so much hatred I had trouble distinguishing one from the other. The similarity between the look in her eyes and my own this morning was that they were both directed at me.
I had barely enough time to dodge her oncoming figure when she ran straight for me. I side stepped her at the last second before she could get me. I felt the wind from her passing figure graze my skin at how close that encounter was. It didn’t take long for me to react this time. I ran after her as she ran straight for the rope and bounced herself off it, running back to where I was standing.
However, what she didn’t anticipate was how I ran after her. I jumped and delivered a spinning kick. I got her right on the temple, her head lolling sideways at the impact as my feet dropped back to the ground. It started throbbing from crashing at such force.
My chest was heaving as I watched her crumble to her knees, cradling her head in her hands. I forced sympathy out of my system, saving it for later. Ever since I realized how much people’s lives are affected by their injuries they get from these fights, I couldn’t see the aftermath of my fights the same way anymore. I kept on seeing ruined lives after lives. I’ve lost that love I have for fighting, for the adrenaline that helped me fight instead of fleeing the scene.
When the referee decided she was no longer fit to fight since she could barely stand up straight without swaying, he raised my hand and faced the crowd, announcing me as the winner.
Unlike all the other times, I felt no victory, I felt no satisfaction. All I felt was relief. Relief that I was one step closer to keeping my family safe. I just have to do one more fight before I face Cole and beat him.
I took my leave, stepping out of the spotlight as quickly as I could. I made my way back to the dressing room and grabbed my things. I made sure to check the board that was in the hallways on my way out for my next fight and put a reminder on my phone.
I walked back to my bike, tucking my phone into my duffel bag. I was straddling my bike, ready to go home when a voice stopped me.
“Case!” I whipped my head back, my feet kickstarting my bike alive. I have got to stop meeting all these people I don’t want to meet after my fights. My foot’s hurting like a bitch after that last kick and I was still limping.
“Fuck you, Dom!” I yelled back at him, my middle finger raised to flip him off over my shoulder. I felt a hand land on my shoulder and I grabbed it, twisting it painfully by its thumb.
“Do not lay your filthy hands on me.” I gritted out as I threw his hand away from me. I didn’t bother to look at him as I prepared to speed away.
“If you care about your boyfriend’s siblings, you’ll hear me out.” He didn’t have to raise his voice, my blood was already running cold at what he said.
“What is it with you people and blackmailing me using the people that I care about?!” I yelled at him through the angry tears that were gathering in my eyes. I have had enough of this bullshit. I was frustrated. All I wanted to do was to get this competition over with so that I could be free from the blackmails coming from Cole. I didn’t need another blackmailer.
If only this guy wasn’t a fucking psychopath that I couldn’t blackmail, I would’ve made him taste his own goddamned medicine ages ago. This son of a bitch needs to know where my limits are at or the next thing he knows, I’ll be choking him in his sleep.
I wonder why I haven’t done that after all he’s done to me.
“What do you want, Dom?” I asked him in resignation. Better speak up, boy.
“I just want to apologize for what I’ve done to Adam. I don’t know what I was doing. I’m sorry I made you upset, Case.” He softly said, reaching out and started to rub my arm what I supposed was lovingly. I flinched away from him. Hurt to sprung in his eyes as I pulled my arm away from him, inching away not so subtly.
“Really?” I asked sarcastically as I rolled my eyes at his indecent apology.
“You have only just now realized how wrong it was to brainwash my boyfriend into thinking I killed his mom after I risked my own life trying to save hers? I don’t even care about the technicalities. It’s fucking immoral of you to even try to brainwash him.” I snapped.
The thought of forgiving him alone is ridiculous. Did he really think that an apology with thoughtless words will easily win him my forgiveness? I think not. He’d better think twice before he makes that conclusion because my forgiveness might as well be non-existent.
If only he didn’t kill Bryant, all of these problems might not have existed. If Bryant was still here, I would’ve had someone to turn to instead of drowning in fight after fight to cope with the hurt and guilt that I was feeling inside. If I didn’t take street-fighting so seriously, if I hadn’t been so well acquainted to it, I wouldn’t have seen it as a way to help Carla and I wouldn’t have injured Cole’s brother. I wouldn’t have endangered the people I love on the line; people that didn’t deserve to have to face any of this.
But I know deep inside that I couldn’t blame Dom for all of this. There was no way of knowing what would have happened in an alternate universe where he wasn’t a psychopath who was infatuated with me and killed Bryant. I couldn’t be sure that things wouldn’t have turned out the way it did even if Bryant was still here to guide me. I couldn’t even be sure that Bryant would live to see me today even if Dom didn’t plan to kill him. There could have been a real drunkard waiting to crash into our car that night and it would all still play out the way it did.
As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t blame Dom for every bad thing that had happened to me and that made me even more furious than I already am. It made me hate him more that I couldn’t fully blame him after all the pain he had inflicted in my life.
“What? Are you going to apologize for what you did to Bryant too?” I asked sarcastically when he kept his mouth shut. I was so carried away with my emotions. When he shook his head no and opened his mouth to explain, I lost my grip on my sanity and climbed off my bike only to lunge at him in a quick flash. My fists were a flurry of punches and all I saw was the murderer of my brother who had no remorse after taking another person’s life. No regret in killing his own best friend, my brother, the brother of the girl he claimed to love.
I hated him with a burning intensity.
He caught my wrists and threw me off him easily, as if I weighed nothing. I rolled on the ground to lessen the impact and ended up in a crouch facing him. I narrowed my eyes at him as I bounced on my heels, ready to attack if he tried anything funny.
“That’s enough! All I wanted to do was mend our relationship. I swallowed my pride and even admitted that piece of filth as your boyfriend. Did you not see how much effort I put into that apology?” He demanded as he ran his hand through this hair and rub his scalp furiously.
“Go to hell, Dom.” I spat at him as I walked backwards towards my bike. I kept him in my sights to make sure he didn’t jump me when I least expected it.
“I don’t understand you, Case. I tried everything to make you love me. Why won’t you love me? Instead you chose that wimp of a boy.” He wouldn’t stop trying to reason with me and I didn’t understand why he was still trying. The damage he had done was too severe to be mended.
“Try being the murderer of the brother I love.” I scoffed at him, straddling my bike and turning on the engine once again. I zoomed out of there before he could process anything.
I tried to keep the tears at bay until I reached the safety of my house. Lord knows that crying while riding a bike will make you crash and die and I was definitely not ready to pass onto the other side.
When I got into the house and finished locking up, I slid to the floor with my back to the wall beside the door and started weeping like a hurt kitten. I let myself be weak for that moment and prayed that everything was going to be okay. God knows I’m only human and there’s just so much I was able to take before I break.
I miss you so much it hurts, Bry.