I fiddled with my fingers as I told him everything that’s happened. I never had this problem before but that’s probably because he scared away everyone who came too close. I couldn’t blame him for not seeing this one coming and scaring him off too. It was a shock for me too. I would never have thought that someone we thought as family would develop these absurd feelings for me.
It could be the heat of the moment but we could never be 100% sure.
“He told me he loved me and made it very clear that he meant it as something more than in a sibling love,” I stressed out. Bryant frowned at that. Our families have always been closely knitted. So to have Dom confessing out of the blue like that was beyond shocking. He knew that I didn’t like anyone that way and have never batted an eye at any guy before.
“Don’t worry, I’ll deal with him,” Bryant assured me. I could feel all the color leaving my face the second those words came out of his mouth and immediately turned to him. Anyone who knows Bryant well enough would know that he never excludes violence whenever he feels it’s necessary. I don’t exactly fancy the idea of losing a friend because of some silly crush they apparently have on me. It was the dumbest way anyone could lose a friend so close that they might as well be family.
“Bry, promise me you won’t do anything stupid. No matter what he does, he’s family,” I pleaded with my brother. I don’t want him hurting anyone. No matter how repulsed I was with the thought of having Dom as a boyfriend, I didn’t want any of my friends getting hurt even if they were acting extremely stupid.
He shook his head at me. “I won’t hurt him, sis. I’ll just talk to him, I promise.” I took one look at his face and sighed. I guess I’ll just have to count on his word; now. There was nothing I could do to stop him if he was going to beat Dom up anyways. He’s twice, possibly thrice, my size.
“I don’t even know why he would like me that way. I’m no one special, just plain old Casey. I don’t have the beauty of all those girls in school and I don’t have the charm, so why me?” I muttered under my breath. I didn’t mean to be so loud but obviously, I wasn’t subtle enough because the next second, Bryant was already kneeling before me with a scolding expression. He cramped himself into the small space between the coffee table and the sofa.
“Hey, what did I tell you about beauty and people?” He asked seriously, probably sick of hearing the same rant over and over again. I veered my eyes away, avoiding his. I felt bad for making him hear the same rant and causing him to recite the same speech he has told me a million times before.
“Beauty lies in the inside,” I began, starting before he has the chance to.
“-where the heart is,” He finished for me and smiled softly while keeping two fingers right above where my heart was. He’s been telling me this every single day for the past year and I’m starting to suspect that he was trying to brainwash me or something.
But if we were to be honest, we all know that deep inside, we’re human and we’re bound to forget that inner beauty affects how people look. We just need that one person to remind us that beauty shouldn’t be skin-deep and Bryant is that someone for me. I can’t imagine what I’d do without him. He is my rock.
“But do I really have that too? I mean, seriously. I have murderous and such vengeful thoughts about those girls at school. Do I even have an inner beauty?” Tears were gathering in my eyes by then and I was ready to let go of them. I was never one to hold back emotions when Bryant was the there with me.
I could tell that he was choosing his words carefully. He knew that I was in an unstable state then. “That only proves that you’re human because that's just how we are. We all have our demons but it’s our choice to listen to them or fight them. And you, little sis, are the strongest fighter and the most beautiful girl I have ever met,” He said with so much sincerity that a few tears slipped from my eyes as his words hit me. I reached out and pulled him into a hug.
God, what good deed have I done for you to give me such an amazing big brother? Please let me know so if someone ever turns back time, it’ll be the first thing I’ll do. He pressed his lips onto my temple before continuing to mutter words of comfort.
“You go through every day with a smile on your face even when the world’s beating you down and that smile reflects the beauty inside. You have the knack to help people even if they’re potential criminals on the run,” I frowned. “Hey, I’m not that stupid!” I whacked him playfully.
“I don’t know if your heart is as pure as it can be, sis, but all I know is that you’ve got a big one in there. When we’re older, I’ll be running around like a madman pointing at billboards with your face on them screaming ‘that’s my sister’ proudly at by-passers.” Bryant continued his speech and by the end of it, tears gathered at the back of my eyes once again. ‘Stupid Case. I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to cry.’ I chanted inside while sniffling ever so slightly.
Bryant chuckled, shaking his head while giving me a hug. I imagined him doing what he just described and gave out a shaky giggle. I knew he would do it for real if it would make me happy. Deep inside, I knew that he would do anything for me. He was the big brother that I would be lost without.
I shot out of the covers so quick that I heard a few cracks from my back. My face was already wet from the tears and I could only stare at my hands. I never thought that I’d dream of that day. My dreams have always circulated around the crash and I would wake up feeling like I belonged behind bars. But the dream I just had wasn’t any better.
The reminder of how much my brother cherished me brought back a wave of nostalgia and I could feel a new waterfall of tears coming. Someone loved me so much and I lost them because I was too stubborn, because I was so keen on going to a stupid party that wasn’t even worth attending. I didn’t even get to hug him one last time the way I hugged him that day. I never got to tell him how much he meant to me.
Mr. Huang sat beside me as I started to cry from the memory. “It’s alright Xiăo Fú, let it out.” I buried my face into the covers whilst he held me still. The dream felt so vivid; as if it had happened just yesterday. I could recall the taste of the ice cream he bought me right after that to cheer me up. I knew just how much Bryant tried to keep his promise that day. I knew how he tried to talk Dom out of his crush on me so that I wouldn't have to feel uncomfortable.
But Bryant would never be able to stick to his word on how he would proudly tell people that I’m his sister in the future now. That was something that I’ll have to live without and that realization broke me. Just the thought of it made my heart ache unbearably. Why must the world be so cruel, God?
All the while, Mr. Huang was kneeling by my side, trying his best to comfort me.
“I miss him too, Case. He was a great boy and I thought of him as my own son but he’s in a better place now; away from this corrupted world. He would want you to let go by now.” I shook my head, there was no way I was going to let Bryant go. He was my everything and even in spirit now, he still is. To hell with what they all think. He was my rock and I am not going to let him go. Ever.
All of a sudden, we heard a knock on the door. Mr. Huang tensed up and looked down at me. “Did you call someone?”
My heart started beating fast. If he didn’t invite anyone then who might that be? When I shook my head, he signaled for me to stay still – but of course no one actually does that. Mr. Huang rose from his crouching position and walked away. I wiped my cheeks dry. The tears had immediately stopped flowing. I followed him to the front door and watched him as he made a detour to the kitchen, coming back out with a pan and a knife. ‘The man knows what he’s doing,’ my conscience joked as I looked at the pan.
He handed it over to me and twirled the knife. He raised his pointer finger and pressed it against his lips. I nodded in return, raising the pan and getting ready to swing it any second then. He put his hand on the knob and twisted. I tried to hold in my battle cry because we all know that’s what they’ve been doing wrong in every movie. I got ready to swing the pan but stopped mid-air when a familiar face and voice greeted us.
“Whoa, whoa! Wait. Pix, it’s me!” I immediately blocked the thrusted knife from stabbing the culprit with my pan. The sound rang through the silent woods. Mr. Huang looked at me, completely confused but I could only stare at the man before me perplexedly.
“Lev? What in the actual fuck are you doing here?!”