Confession

*Him*

I focused on her, though my eyes were tired and dry. My mind was heavy, moving fast between thoughts and memories I was aching to share with her.

I tightened my hold on the bottle and bit down, creating tension in my jaw. It was the only way I could stop my body from shaking. My mind was fuzzy enough to convince itself that confessing to Inesa was smart, but sober enough to keep the words at the tip of my tongue.

It could ruin everything. Or it could give us the only chance we had. I shut my eyes tightly, holding my breath as I blurted the words that would force me to explain everything to her.

"I killed him."

I opened my eyes. Liquid courage, indeed.

She snapped her gaze to me, her brows furrowed, her eyes glossy from the drink, "What?"

My chest heaved and my hands turned clammy. I looked away from her, not able to face the emotions in her hazel eyes. I couldn't look at her, it hurt too fucking much.

"Who, Kian?"

Her voice wavered, and I knew she had tears in her eyes. I wasn't who she thought I was. I was a monster. A killer. A murderer.

I inhaled, though it managed to burn my chest more than anything. The words had spilled from my mouth and I couldn't take them back. Deeper was the only way for me to go.

I exhaled, "Jacob."

When I looked at her, I saw the confusion in her eyes. Her mouth parted, and she tried to speak many times. Instead she only managed to chew on her bottom lip.

She hugged herself, tightly and finally managed a whisper, "I-in prison?"

I studied her, my eyes taking in every inch of her face, every detail of her eyes and mouth. She wasn't mad, or afraid. She wasn't horrified. She was curious.

I nodded, my jaw ticking.

"But you got off on good behavior?"

The question was like a slap to my face. Like a bucket of cold water had been thrown on my head. I nodded.

"How?"

I shrugged, "I made it look like a suicide."

She leaned back in her chair, "Y-you can do that?"

Her voice caused me to recoil. Now the fear had begun to creep in her wavering tone.

I swallowed, feeling as if she could hear the knot in my throat, "Not on my own."

"What? What does that mean?"

"I had help. Jacob wasn't exactly popular. He was-" I shrugged, not wanting to talk when my voice threatened to break.

She stood up, hugging herself and shaking her head, "I- you killed him? Like with your hands?"

I flinched, remembering the way his body fell limp in my hands. The way his eyes lost their light. I nodded.

She shook, "I- I don't want to hear anymore, please."

"Inesa-"

"Did you do it for me?" She interrupted, her voice turning high and urgent.

"What?"

Tears streamed down her face, "Did you kill him because of me? Because I can't- I can't do that."

I stood, approaching her only to stop when she held up her hand. She had to know she wasn't guilty of anything. That nothing was because of her. It was all me.

I shook my head, "No."

She quickly wiped the tears off of her cheeks, "Then why?"

Her eyes were desperate. Begging to hear a reason that was enough to justify myself. She couldn't be with me, she couldn't be with a murderer. I knew that much. So I hoped, I desperately hoped that my reason was enough.

"He killed my brother," I cleared my throat, barely able to finish the word.

Her eyes widened, her hands covered her mouth as she gasped, "What?"

"He taunted me, confessed it to me over the phone like we were playing some game and I had lost. He enjoyed telling me and it made so fucking angry," My voice turned dark as I remembered that phone call. I remembered every single word.

Her soft hand on my chest had me snapping back to reality. I hissed in pain, realizing I had clenched my hands to tightly I had cut open my palm. I looked at the crescent shaped cuts and shook my head.

She softly grasped my wrist, walking me over to her bathroom. She didn't say a word as she washed my hands, and picked through her first aid kit to softly clean and wrap my palms.

The cuts were minimal, and they barely stung, but I let her do as she pleased. I shut my eyes, letting my body take in the feel of her soft hands, letting myself smell the scent of her body so close to mine.

This moment made it all worth it.

"He deserved to die."

Her soft voice had me looking at her. She remained focused on my hands as I watched the curve of her nose and the lines of her lips. Her hair was draped behind her shoulder and he delicate collarbones were a sight to behold.

She was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

"I just wish you didn't have to do it."

She sniffled, a tear catching at the tip of her nose.

I shifted, cupping her jaw and caressing her cheeks with my thumbs, "I was the only one, my love."

She furrowed her brow, "Why?"

"They would've let him go. I couldn't let him do what he did to my brother to anyone else. I couldn't let him hurt you. I had to."

Her eyes shifted, "So it was for me?"

"Partly."

She inhaled. Shuddering.

"I'll do anything to keep you safe."

She pressed her lips together, "You killed someone for me."

She pulled away from my touch, taking in the information. The battle in her mind was evident in the way her eyes oscillated back and forth.

"I would've killed him for my brother alone."

Her brought her gaze back up to mine."Is this all you wanted to tell me?"

I chuckled, "All? I killed someone, isn't that big enough?"

She nodded, almost relieved that I had nothing else to share.

She stepped toward me, placing her hand on my chest once more, "I-I don't want to know the details."

I froze, not wanting to move. Not wanting to question if she was saying what I thought she was.

"I understand why you did it."

I nodded stiffly, the movement barely visible.

"I understand why you had to leave."

I watched her silently.

"And I understand why you thought it would make me feel differently."

I swallowed, my mouth dry but my hands clammy.

She exhaled, the tension in her shoulders dissolving away, "But it doesn't."

I leaned toward her, her gravity pulling me in.

She pushed herself onto the tips of her toes, her lips grazing mine, "I love you, Kian."