Chapter 51 I'M READY
look to Dylan for his decision since he seems to be the one leading this pack and he nods. "We'll stop just up ahead. There should be a pond around here somewhere."
We follow him further into the woods until finally we hit a clearing, just where he thought it should be. It is wide and mossy and beautiful. A good size pond sits right at its center. I can see the fish swimming just below the surface. There are many fishes of all types.
"Wow," Elsa says, wide eyed.
"The fish population is really heavy here. Not many people walk this far into the woods to fish. That probably has a lot to do with it," Dylan says. He lowers himself onto the ground and pulls a canteen from his bag and takes a sip.
"I'm going to scan the area," I tell him. I grab up Elsa's bag from him and hand it to her. "I'll be right back. Eat something and take a rest."
She nods and sits down next to Dylan before I make my way through the woods just up ahead of us. He really needs to rest and lately I feel I am pulling my own weight.
I scan a perimeter of about half a mile in each direction surrounding us. There is no sign of Grog or any of the wolves so far. I am not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I almost expected them to have found us already, or at least be close by. I have sensed nothing other than the strange, but distantly familiar stirrings of something dormant being awoken in me. It gives me this odd surge of energy I hadn't realized I'd been missing all this time.
A thought passes through my mind and almost as quickly as it had appeared, it is gone. It sends chills up my spine. If Grog hasn't found us yet, that can only mean one thing. He's planning something big. He wouldn't remain silent otherwise.
Maybe he has searched for us then returned to his pack with a bigger, more malicious plan. More than hurt us, he probably wants to make us pay, to make us suffer the consequences of what we have done. He'll go after Samuel or my family or even Dylan's family to make us pay. Then after he has ripped away the most important things in our lives, well, then he'll come for us.
I can only hope that Dylan is right and he is still unprepared to go into war with our pack so it would buy us some time and I can contact Samuel. Maybe we can form some kind of plan with the pack. If anyone can protect our pack, it was Samuel.
When I return back to the water where Dylan and Elsa are resting the ground starts shaking. It isn't an obvious earthquake shake, but more like a subtle, slight shake. For a moment I debate if it is just my imagination or maybe I am just feeling dizzy.
I look to Dylan for some kind of answer, but he only looks into the fish pond acting as though nothing is happening Maybe it isn't. Maybe it is just my mind after all.
I shake my head off it. I don't need to start showing signs of mental instability right now. I have been through a lot, but for Elsa's sake and my own, I need to keep it together just a little longer.
Dylan finally notices me and stands up. "You're back. Find anything?"
I shake my head. "No. All quiet on the western front." I glance at Elsa. "Is she doing okay?"
He glances at her and nods. "She's fine. But she'll be better when we're in the protection of allies."
I look past him into the woods I have recently scanned. "How much further now?"
"The time is still the same. We'll arrive early morning or at best... whoa. Grace, are you alright?" He is rushing to my side trying to steady me before I hit the ground. I lean into his body as the arm around me leads me over next to Elsa. I feel unsteady, dizzy.
"The ground is shaking again," I tell him slowly. My head soon begins to throb. I bury it in my hands.
"Grace, are you okay?" Elsa's small voice whispers.
"I...I don't know. Something... something's happening, I think." Then like something that has been slowly chipping away inside of me, the ice barrier breaks and slowly warmth starts spreading through my body. It begins at my chest and spider webs from there to every inch of my body until it reaches the tips of my toes and fingertips. I gasp for breath. "What the..."
Air. I can't get enough air. Where did it all go? It is as if I just got through with a ten mile race. My lungs are burning for the lack of oxygen.
Oh, God. I'm suffocating.
Dylan places his hands on the sides of my face. I try to look at him, but everything is spinning. Elsa whimpers next to me.
"Hey, Grace, stay with me. Look at me. Just keep your eyes on mine," Dylan says.
I try. I really try. But then the nausea comes and I feel like I am going to hurl. "Oh, Go-" I can't finish my sentence because that is it. There are no more words. Only vomit. And it is bad. The worst I have felt in weeks. It splashes at the ground.
"Grace," Dylan sounds slightly panicked. His hands are still on my face.
"What's happening to her?" Elsa is way more panicked than Dylan. "Is she going to die?"
"No," Dylan says firmly. "She's not going to die. No one is going to die. She's going to be fine. She just needs to cool off."
"Dylan..." I mumble. The world is beginning to blur. I try to search for his face.
"Shh... you're fine. You're going to be fine." His voice is meant to reassure me, but even I can pick out the slight doubt in his voice. He has no idea what is happening to me anymore than I do.
We both need to face the facts though. This could very well be the end for me.
"Baby, stay with me. I love you. Stay with me." Dylan is lightly shaking me.
"Samuel?" When did he get here? Then I am on my back with the sky high above me...and Samuel. He moves into my line of sight. He smiles weakly at me. His eyes are concerned then panicked.
My heart swells with joy. "Samuel, you are here. You came for me. How did you find us?"
"Shh. Just lay back. Be quiet. You'll be okay after this passes."
"What is it?" I ask him. "What's happening to me?"
"You're changing,"
I scrunch up my nose. "Changing? Into what?"
"Your wolf. It's happening again. Just like it did the first time you changed. You're whole again." Samuel's voice merges with Dylan's. "Just breathe through it. It will be over soon enough."
Are they talking at the same time?
I try to focus on Samuel again but he blurs out of sight. I can't get a clear picture of him anymore. He starts backing away. I immediately panic. "No! Don't leave me." I reach for him. I am able to grab on to him before he makes it away.
"Grace, you're shifting. Elsa and I need to move away."
It is only then that I realize how bad I am shaking. My leg snaps, then my arm, then my back. I scream out in pain. They snap again, transforming into something else. I scream.
The pain. It is becoming too much. There is searing pain up and down my spine. I let go of Samuel. "I love," I told him. "I love you."
Just in case I don't make it out of this alive he needs to know. He needs to know how I feel.
"Grace, it's okay," Dylan says. He sounds so far away now. Everything is going dark. It is like the sky right before a storm. Then it gets even darker. More like the sky at dusk. "It's the fever. You're hallucinating. When you shift, it'll break."
"Break," I mumble. Snap. I scream again.
I am breaking. I'm dying. I'm sure I'm dying.
"Samuel, come back to me," I cry. "Please. Don't leave me alone here."
They say that when you die everything starts to go dark. Then all the noise begins to fade away into the night. And finally, once everything has vanished, you, your consciousness, it starts to slip away too. Then there is silence and nothingness. No sensations. Nothing to remind you that you are still alive. No beating of your heart. Nothing. You are just...gone.
I used to dream of falling through the dark night sky when I was a little girl. At first, it was like I was flying. I don't know how I got there, or how I started flying in the first place, but I was doing it. It was only after I realized I was doing it, that I panicked and I started to fall through the air, my body falling down toward nothing. Just one big, black whole.
My stomach feels as if it were in my throat. The whole way down I am worried about all the things I haven't done in my life. All the things I never said. All my regrets in life are on my mind. All the things I will never get to do. because I know that as soon as my body finds somewhere to land, that I will be no more. I will break.
That's when I would wake up. Right before I hit the ground. Right before I die. I'd sit up in my bed panting, and screaming. My mom and dad would rush into my room and see me sitting there and they'd hold me and tell me it was okay. It was just a dream.
And that was what always calmed me. What brought me back to the edge of reality. It was the realization that they in fact were right. I was not falling, they were there holding me, I was really okay. And I always would be.
But this...this is different. I am most certainly not dreaming and I am not sure if I am alright or ever would be. I don't even know where I am.
Grace.
A voice sounds in the back of my mind.
Grace.
“Yes", I want to say. I don't have a working voice.
Grace.
Each call of my name feels it is leading me somewhere. Guiding me to the place I need to be.
Grace.
Back to the edge of reality. Yes. I'm here!
Grace.
It's closer now. Almost close enough to touch.
Wake up. You're okay.
I'm okay, I repeat to myself.
"Can you move?"
I don't know. Can I? I try. My arm twitches.
"Yes." Next I try clear out the darkness. To open my eyes. To see anything.
"Good. You're doing well." I recognized the voice now. It is Dylan.
Light peeks in between my lashes. I
squint. It hurts. I feel a presence shift
over me. The light darkens. It makes seeing easier. I manage to open my
eyes a little wider. Little by little I am able to zoom in on my surroundings.
I am outside on the ground. That much I know. Dylan's face is in front of me, inches from mine. I struggle to get up on my elbows and he moves away. He looks relived to see me up.
"I was worried about you. How do you feel?"
"Like I was hit by a Mack Truck." I wince as I get into a sitting position. Beside me Elsa is asleep. Her eyes are tear streaked.
"The kid was worried. She thought you were dead," he explains.
So did I. "What happened?"
The world around me is brighter, crisper, and prettier. It is a vision I recognize and have missed so much. Tears start forming in my eyes. I am back together again. I am me.
"You shifted and blacked out. I guess whatever Logan did to you reset your body to the way it was before your first shift. It happened all over again."
And there in the back on my mind, I feel her. She is there now. My wolf. I can feel her energy. Her smile. Her delight. Tears spill out between my eyes. I missed her so much.
Dylan sees me and wraps his arms
around me. "Hey. You made it. You should be happy."
"I am happy," I tell him. "That's why I'm crying."
He smiles. "You're back."
"How long was I out?" I try to make myself sound clearer. My voice is rough, somewhat off.
"About four hours."
I nearly shoot up to my feet. "What? Four hours? We've lost so much time. I've lost so much time." I don't remember any of it.
"Don't worry. Grog or Logan haven't come for us."
That doesn't make me feel any better. "That's exactly what worries me." Elsa shifts on her blanket. I lower my voice. "This doesn't seem right. This whole situation seems off." Dylan frowns. "Yeah. I know what you mean."
I get to my feet. "We should probably get going then. The longer we're out here the more we put ourselves at risk."
He nods and stands with me. "Now that you can shift, we'll run. We can get there faster. I'll take Elsa on my back and you'll follow me. With any luck we'll make it to James' pack in half a day."
That sounds like a pretty good plan. A breeze blows and I realize then that I am only wrapped in a thin blanket around me. Which means I have been completely naked in front of Dylan and I can't even remember it. I blush and grab at the makeshift covering.
"I put that on you when you returned from the woods. You took off after you shifted and when you returned Elsa was asleep from crying. You went to sleep too and shifted back in your sleep. I thought it was best to cover you before the kid woke up."
It was. But he saw every single inch of me. "Yes. Thank you."
"It's probably best we keep that between ourselves," he adds.
What he meant is, don't tell Samuel. And I have to agree. Dylan is probably in enough hot water as it is. I don't want him to getting killed over something that isn't his fault.
"Of course."
He glances at Elsa. "You should get her up. I'll gather our stuff."
I nod. "Let's be quick."
I walk over next to her and drop down in front of her. She is breathing steadily then rapidly. She is probably dreaming if I have to guess.
I Place my hand on her and gently shake her awake. When she opens her eyes she stares at me. She is clearly relieved. She sits up quickly with a smile and wraps her arms around my neck. "You're okay. I was so scared. I thought you were going to die. I'm glad you didn't."
I am taken aback by her sudden rush of words. It is the most I have heard her say at one time since I met her. I shake with silent laughter and wrap my arms around her just as tight as she is holding me.
"Believe me, so am I."
Dylan picks up our things and comes to stand next to us as we rise to our feet. I gather our blankets and stuff them into a bag.
He looks at me. "You ready for this, Grace? We have a lot of ground to cover before night settle
s in."
I nod. He doesn't even need to ask. "Of course." Adrenalin is beginning to course through me. In less than a day I'll be in Samuel's arms again. For that, I'm ready for anything.
"Ready as I'll ever be."